A longtime crush of mine, I found out, drives an all-new black GD6 Honda City. Yesterday I "lucked out" watching her drive from the Sports Complex parking all the way to Taft Ave. cor. Vito Cruz (not very far, but enough to get an insight due to the traffic).

While I was watching her drive I noticed she was pretty aggressive. I don't know how much force she's putting into her footbrake but her stops seemed pretty sudden. She was pretty hard on the loud pedal too.

Hmmm. If she's trying to avoid or outrun me, she shouldn't do so in the thick of rush-hour traffic. Besides who am I to her? What should she be afraid of? I ain't no stalker.
===

Dad lent me his Pajero to drive today as the Pregio was still in the shop having the air conditioning serviced.

At first I could hardly feel any of the controls. The steering felt loose and vague, the brakes were hard to judge and the clutch's contact point was tricky to find. It doesn't help that the shifter's kinda far away and the gear ratios are ridiculously close to each other. But I got the hang of driving it after 10 minutes. As long as I don't forget that acceleration and top speed are both poor in the SUV, and I keep safe driving in mind, I won't have any problems.

Parking this beast will be a challenge though. I miss my Honda already.

This month's HCP EB seemed a little different from those of recent history. True, the venue was new (Blue Wave instead of The Fort), but other than that this one seemed a little more special.

Rain did not spoil the EB this time around, so members and newbies were free to mingle out in the open. Came across a few new faces myself and I got to venture outside my usual Tropang City barkada. Some new dude in an EK Civic sported a brand new Top Secret Gold paintjob (what a damn cool color!), with a sweet-looking Momo steering wheel and gorgeous Recaro SR V bucket seats in red and black. A couple of old-but-sorely-missed members made their welcome return appearances as well. A few petrolheads tested their cars on the free roads.

Racer Mikko David was on hand to record the proceedings for the local motorsports show "Slipstream." He toted his camera and tripod around, hovering around the crowd and the more notable engine bays of some of the members. Later on he asked for a white Honda of every model (EG, EK, ES Civics; CB Accord; RD2 CR-V; SX8 City) to be arranged in a semicircle around HCP president Juno Ongteco, while the latter explained to viewers what HCP was all about and invited members to join in.
===

After the shooting was done, Mikko and I talked at length about the situation of the show and the local circuit racing industry in general. He told me he was looking for a scriptwriter and any other help he could scrape up, as he was basically a one-man production house as of the moment and he still hasn't been paid for his work (4 episodes' worth). I expressed interest in the show a couple weeks ago, and he invited me to come along on the race weekends to watch and get a feel of how the Subic races were held. He also requested a little creative input on my side, and if my schedule permitted, some scriptwriting duty as well.

Mikko's a likeable guy and it's obvious he loves circuit racing. As we may all know, though, the guy also has to earn from what he loves and he needs more than a little help and support. I'm mulling his offer over, actually. I'd like to help project local motorsport as something accessible to everyone and not just some rich man's hobby. If "Slipstream" can also encourage people to get their adrenalin rush from the racetrack and NOT on public roads then I'm game for it as well.

Only concern for me now is how to break this to my parents. Going to Subic is no joke as it's kinda far, but Mikko assured me there's a house where we can stay overnight there. My dad's aware of how much I love cars and so he's encouraged me to look for a career that revolves around them. This just might be it. It might not pay well, yes, but the experience is what counts, no?
===

After the sun went down we trekked over to Gerry's Grill for dinner. There were a lot of us HCPers on one long table and it was really fun having all these people around to talk to. Had to split at 8pm though.

"Kapatiran," the annual DLSU Pops Orchestra welcoming, was held today as Manila Day exempted us from class. I can't say I enjoyed it 100% but I learned a few things from today's experience.

Somehow I've lost the ability to trust others. I've become quite sullen in the way I approach people, opting to be stubborn and obstinate than to be open-minded and easygoing. I know I shouldn't be the type to take bullshit from others but I can't seem to distinguish between some things are actually lessons for my own benefit, and the negligible remainder of those that are actually things I have the right to defend myself against. With Pops I should realize I won't last long if I stubbornly stick to my guns all the time. I need to stay back and listen to what the other members have to say as they've been around far longer than I have.

I feel ashamed and immature compared to the rest of my peers there. I have 5 terms to turn things around.

Mela and I have been talking lately over YM. Nothing special, just the usual chitchat. When I asked about how things were with her boyfriend, I was surprised to know they were off since summer. Turns out his mom didn't approve of her being a Filipina because he came from a Chinese family.

Honestly I thought this sort of case made it impossible for Chinese women to date Pinoy men. I didn't know it was the other way around as well. And it doesn't stop there. Judging from some HCP friends' experiences, Chinese men also are pretty much discouraged to date Filipina women too.

Year after year I hear the same stories about this sort of thing going around. What is it with Chinese families and this obsession of keeping their bloodline pure? I've heard of so many reasons, the most convincing being that the Chinese simply consider themselves a superior race. There was this other thing that Filipinos might just cheat Chinese families out of their wealth.

Mela was right. When it all comes down to it, two things are painfully clear. One, this is racial discrimination, and two, this isn't even valid as most Filipinos would have Chinese blood in them anyway.

Chinese girls have got to be some of the cutest I've run across since I started college. I admit that much. The problem lies when most if not ALL the girls you run into are Chinese and you can't even court a single one of them.
===

Women and their little mind games. I'm sick of constantly falling for the deception card they play all the time. Now I won't take any of that bullshit, not anymore.

If being true to myself means ending up a bachelor my entire life then so be it. At least I ain't the one digging up my own hole to fall into.

H'wag ka nang mag-alala
Hinding-hindi ako inlab sa iyo
Bakit ba pakiramdam mo pa yata
Lahat kami ay naaakit mo?
Miss miss pakitigil lang plis
Ang iyong pagpapantasya
Di ka na nakakatuwa
Papagulpi na kita sa gwardyang may batuta!

Hindi ko talaga ma-gets kung bakit ka ganyan
Ang feeling mo'y sabik sa iyo ang lahat ng kakakalihan
Sori pagpasensyahan mo na
Mali talaga ang iyong inaakala
Lahat kami ay nandidiri sa iyo
Ikaskas mo na sana ang mukha mo sa semento!

Di kami natu-turn sa kutis mong kulay tsamporado
Di kami naaakit sa labi mong garabutso
O please naman pakitanggap mo na lang ang katotohanan
Na ganyan ka pinanganak
H'wag ka nang magpapanggap
Na ikaw ay isang dalagang ubod ng ganda
Kahit na
Alam naman natin na ang karakas mo
Ay ubod ng sama

Siguro nga naman ay may mga mas pangit pa sa iyo
Ngunit hindi sila nagpapa-cute katulad mo
Nakakabadtrip ka,
Nakakairita t'wing ika'y nakikita
Di ko alam ba't ang laki ng ulo mo
Mag-ingat-ingat ka baka ikaw ay sagasaan ko!

--- Parokya ni Edgar, "Silvertoes"
===

Ahh, I feel BETTER already.

Women can't fool me like that again.

I have serious beef against CR-V drivers.

I don't mean to generalize, but the CR-V drivers I've encountered tend to be the nastiest private drivers I've ever come across. This is proven from months and months of being on the receiving end of their malicious moves. They swerve, they cut you off, they deliberately compromise one's legitimate overtaking maneuvers...and they just keep on doing it.

It's gotten so bad that whenever I see CR-Vs in my field of vision, I immediately anticipate bullshit driving coming my way. Of course I can never talk about this in the confines of HCP (and I believe my CR-V-driving clubmates are responsible drivers) but this mayhem has just got to stop.
===

I'm finally inside the DLSU Pops Orchestra's marketing committee. Cool. Sleepless days and nights await me from here on in, I guess.

I've noticed there are a lot of seriously cute girls there. I particularly dig this drummer chick from Assumption College Makati that plays kick-ass drums. She's so cute everyone can't help but look at her and stare.

I've spent my first 7 hours of residency there and I seriously enjoy all the jam sessions the guys go on to. I finally get to join an org that can fulfill my hunger for great music. Best to consider myself really lucky.
===

Feeling a bit better now. The semi-fevers have gone and my nose has stopped running for the most part. All I'm left with is an itchy throat and a raspy cough.

Wish I could say the same with my lovelife. Ha ha ha!

I'm sort of sick. My head hurts, my nose leaks mucus as if it's a leaky faucet (wasted an entire roll of tissue during QUATECH) and I'm generally just feeling weak. Yesterday I played my first game at Villamor and I noticed I was definitely not feeling well. I don't have a fever yet though, which is good news. It's a busy time right now.

On a side note I am glad I'm now part of the DLSU Pops Orchestra's marketing committee. Finally got into the org I've dreamed of entering since high school. The people have been nice so far and I love hearing these gifted musicians jam along. I kinda wish I could learn a bit of drumming from the "masters" while I work there.

There's a mad rush for yearbook writeups because most of us just decided to get working on it at the last minute, ha ha ha. That includes me too. Heheheh.

Tell me if I can afford to be with you
I find it hard to think that you are gone
Is it okay if I run after you
To push myself, just to be
With you?

--- Sugar Free

I've said this once and I'll say it again...I can never seem to find a perfect pair of spectacles. No matter how hard I look for sunglasses there isn't a frame that suits my face 100% well.

Things aren't getting any better for my eyesight. My eyes will slowly but surely deteriorate (my eyesight isn't 20/20 as it is) and I'll need a good pair soon enough.
===

My mom got a new phone yesterday, a Nokia 6600.

Weird thing is, for all its sophistication, I can't seem to find a way to up the size of the typeface for text messaging. That'd help my mom a LOT. Everywhere else the typeface is readable at half arm's length; the text messaging window necessitates bringing my face very close to the phone. What more for my mom?

Nokia are you reading this?
===

Relationships...they're all that I think of in recent times.

I have to admit I got very lucky with my generous ex in all the 5 months we were together. I doubt if I'm 100% over her, but I am convinced that the ghosts of the past aren't haunting me as strongly as they used to. Although I get the occasional mild shock seeing someone who looks eerily like her, I can shrug it off now and leave it to coincidence.

For now I want to prove to myself that I can make a relationship last with genuine effort on my part. I want to teach myself self-temperance. No hot and heavy stuff right off the bat; I'd like to work for it. I don't want to force my future partner to do things she's not ready for, nor do I want her to demean herself for me. I want to do what I can, as much as I can, to make a relationship last and last well.

Trish did say I was a sucker for love...the eternal hopeless romantic. I guess that's true. It's an addictive feeling, being giddy in love with someone, but I know that's not all there is to it. Keeping a relationship intact concerns many ups and downs, so I've read in an old issue of Redbook, and the key is to make "honeymoon" phases return over and over.

I've been fortunate enough to meet and mingle with some pretty attractive women recently. None of them are attainable yet though. That's just as well; I might not even have enough time to enter and maintain a relationship in the first place if I do make it into Pops.
===

Love is only a feeling (drifting away)
When I'm in your arms I start believing (it's here to stay)
But love is only a feeling anyway

Love is only a feeling (drifting away)
And we gotta stop ourselves believing (it's here to stay)
'Cause love is only a feeling anyway...

--- The Darkness, "Love is Only a Feeling"

Out of nowhere, JM Ibañez buzzed me last night on YM. It's been years since I'd heard from the guy and it was quite the welcome surprise.

Turns out he was out of UA&P and now in AMA as a freshman, while juggling his time with developer work. Not bad. At least he's a proper member of the workforce now. He seems fine and dandy, and like me he missed the halcyon days when working at our high school magazine Counterpoint was all that mattered.

He's also quite the driver these days and I gave him some tips on how to better harness the power of his 1.3 Ford Lynx. I'd like to meet up with him someday and have one of our long friendly chats.
===

I am so pissed off with teachers that presume their students can learn everything without them putting an effort into teaching. I now detest MARKCU1.

Personally this major subject has been nothing more than a major insult. I do all the readings, I listen to what Greek my prof feel like spouting at the moment yet it never seems to satisfy her.

What an insatiable sadist.
===

Applied for membership into the DLSU Pops Orchestra's marketing committee...again. This time Rachel and Tantan handled the interview and they seemed pretty impressed and bewildered with some of my answers (especially that one on appeasing a disgruntled sponsor, HA HA HA!).

I don't mean to be boastful but I think I stand a good chance of getting in, as my rusty-but-still-good layout skills can probably do wonders for their print materials. They mentioned I'd have to go through hosting duty and with enough practice I can probably do that. As for pleading with company execs to get into their mounds of money for sponsorship...I'll have to do some work on my diplomacy but I think I can do that too.

If I do get accepted into Pops, I'm going to sacrifice a lot of things. Badminton for one might be reduced to just a once-a-week thing and that's kinda infrequent, given that I play twice a week nowadays. Flexibility might screw with the set sked for fetching my sister home. Moreover I'll have to figure out how to squeeze in the thesis shooting. But I'll work something out.
===

I had a great time at Villamor yesterday despite losing two of my games and winning only one. Even with that, I have to say I think I'm getting better at this sport as I can react faster and smash deeper and with more direction than before.

A couple of these games were played against Caren, an attractive young woman whom I thought was older than me at first. Turns out she was just in her first or second year at San Juan de Dios, taking nursing. I thought she was older than me. I guess it was the way she acted.

She asked me the same thing. I told her I was 21; she said she thought I was 17 or something. She added that maybe it was the way I acted.

Now upon hearing this I didn't know what to make of it. Was this a compliment or a nicely hidden putdown?

Bumped into Nicole again the other day. She's still as cheerful and as beautiful as ever. Seems like she was delayed coming to school because she came from the US from summer vacation.

Turns out she had Atty. Dimayuga for COMLAW1 too. She clued me in on some details. As long as I was active in recitation I'd get a good grade. He doesn't really teach though so we wouldn't really learn. I told her Dimayuga was okay so far, despite coming very late on a few occasions (lawyer working hours I guess).

She asked me to enroll in Economics 3 next term; I said sure, why not. I'd make it so that the two of us can be classmates again and we could help each other out. I miss that girl's wacky demeanor and jokes. As always, Nicole was badgering me to watch more movies. Heheheheh.

It's just the second or third week of class and I already see things I don't like.

There's this girl who seems to be my classmate for two or three subjects. I was introduced to her via Johnas, Bianca's friend from high school. At first the two of them wanted help on MARKCU1, which I offered willingly.

However it's gotten pretty annoying. I can sense this girl does not do any thinking of her own. She doesn't read the assigned chapters, she doesn't do her homework...I'm pretty much amazed at how she managed to enter DLSU at all, waht more last through 2 years. I found out it was mostly through cheating.

Truth be told this girl doesn't have a brain of her own, so she makes "friends" out of her new classmates and wants them to do the thinking for her. She's got a bevy of "friends" from QUATECH and MARKCU1 to help her out and heaven knows if she has more "braintrust" doing her shit for her. Personally I find it offensive and disgusting. She should at least put in some effort into her studies, like my STAT102 classmates did, but she doesn't. What an airhead.

I ain't helping you out of the pit you're digging for yourself.
===

GENDERS (Gender Studies) has been an eye-opener so far. It's been interesting and it's forced me to rethink and reconsider how I look at other people, especially those of the LGBT variety (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender).

I admit to being quite the heterosexist and homophobe. I guess it wouldn't hurt if I tried being more tolerant of LGBTs though. I got three months to get started.

I have to admit the local bading language is a work of art, though. Not to mention it's actually a little funny to listen to, with the most unlikely terms used to mean something else.
===

On my ridiculously long break today, I managed to bump into my old Vietnamese MARKET1 classmate, Thai, in the library. I'd seen him studying in the carrels a couple times before, and I decided to say hi and exchange a few words.

He was beginning his major subjects for his Management of Financial Institutions degree, so he was pretty much in the library all day despite his classes beginning at 4:50pm. Seems like Thai likes the library a lot; he says he gets to study there a lot better. On a typical day he's there from the early morning coming from his condominium at nearby Kassel.

I told him our common MARKET1 classmate Wujin (he's Chinese) was my classmate in QUATECH this term as well, and the two of us were pretty much doing well under our professor. Turns out Thai also had Mrs. Umali for QUATECH last term too and he had nothing but praise for her.

Mentioning that a book I was looking for was upstairs, I said goodbye to him and wished him well on his quiz.

'Tis nice how Thai's very appreciative of the DLSU library. It kinda inspired me. I brought home a couple of F. Sionil Jose books for personal consumption.
===

On the way home drivers seemed to be a little crazier tonight than they were on any other night. I can't say I wasn't part of the culprit but I certainly wasn't an accident waiting to happen.

Most notable was an experience I had on the Expressway after overtaking slower traffic. I let my speed climb to 105 km/h to pull away a little. I was surprised to see two round headlights tailing me at a distance way closer than is safe.

I tried adding a bit more speed, to give me and my pursuer the acceptable 2-second gap, but the driver just matched my speed and kept that unreasonably close gap. At this point the C-5 offramp and merge point was upon me and I decided to set up for my exit. I braked and signaled a lane change to the right as the pursuer streaked past.

Imagine my surprise when I saw that my pursuer was an OWNER TYPE JEEP! Now I know owner jeeps can be quick because they're lightweight (one of them humiliated drag Civics with a 12-second quarter mile a year back), but this maniac was doing 120 when busier traffic was looming---and there didn't seem to be any effort in major braking (or maybe that was because his brake lights were indistinguishable under braking?). The driver just kept swerving, not mindful of the consequences of crashing the relatively flimsily built car.

Even more concerning...I got to tail the silver jeep a little later and I saw that there was a full load of passengers inside.

Some people just keep looking for ways to die earlier...

Lately I've turned into quite the chocolate junkie.

After years of steering myself away from frequent consumption of the brown stuff, the past two months have seen me craving more and more of it. Recent faves have been classic Toblerone, Kit Kat Chunky (basically a huge-ass Kit Kat finger), Snickers, Nestle Crunch and whatever else I happen to see in the fridge. I steer away from Cadbury's and diabetes-inducingly sweet candy bars though.

Even more unusually, I seem to understand now why girls love the stuff. No, I don't feel anywhere like I'm head over heels in love whenever I dig my teeth into a Kit Kat Chunky, but I do feel a little more sober and relaxed.

I feel like I need more chocolate...hmmm...
===

There's always one thing I never fully understood about myself after all these years, and that concerns my seemingly endless obsession with self-pity.

I can never somehow give myself enough credit for simply being human and imperfect. It's as if I've fooled myself into thinking I should be very hard on myself, for things that aren't even my fault. It's been the cause of a lot of my pains and heartbreaks, and I should note it's gotten in the way of some relationships as well. Wherever I go, I carry the brunt of all my regrets and I can never seem to let go of them.

I wonder how I should stop feeling sorry for being me. Where do I start? How do I give myself a healthy dose of self-appreciation and banish this masochistic ghost forever?

I'm open to suggestions.

I've been getting better at badminton, I guess. In my recent games, I've felt more and more confident of myself and the moves I perform, despite not having properly trained for quite a while now. Experience on the court counts a lot, I suppose.

This Tuesday I got to play twice, and I won twice. Today I played thrice, won twice and lost once. My track record's getting better. I admit I still have to test my mettle against many more opponents better than I am, but this is a good start.

While I'm on the subject, I managed to improve my footwork a little bit too. No longer do my shoes have to experience being dragged by their sides when I lunge to return a shot. That means my Adidas Stratos 3s can last longer looking as dapper and as white as they are.
===

I've gotten pretty lonely the past couple weeks. My schedule just sucks. I got way too much free time. I'm actually applying for membership under the Student Council, preferably under Mela's office. It'll look good on my resume and it'll take care of some of that stupid free time too.

It also didn't help that I haven't been able to talk with Cher for what seems like forever. I finally got to talk to her again last night...and it felt so great hearing her voice again. I guess I'm taking the business of missing her too seriously, but she's my friend and I really do consider her special.

Amishu always, fwend. *HUGS*
===

Yaya Cora's mother died yesterday. :(

It's disappointing how her relatives seem to have every reason in the world NOT to take care of her ailing mother. Yaya Cora's left to take the brunt of paying for her medication.

The only relief I can think of for her is that she won't bleed as much of her much-needed money anymore.

Rest in peace.
===

I decided to get an application form for the college yearbook. If all goes well I'll get it by July 2006, half a year before I end my stay in DLSU.

Damn...this is probably the biggest indicator that my time in college is almost over. In five terms, God willing, I'll probably graduate. What have I done with all the time I'm here? Not too much I'm afraid. My resume won't be an org-seeker's wet dream, that's for sure.

I guess maybe I should make up for the time I wasted. I've been mulling over joining the badminton team lately. I even got the cellphone numbers of the two coaches and asked them when they're having tryouts.

I know I'm still a ways from being varsity-player material, but hey, there's no shame in trying right? I'm proud that I get to play with pretty good players 80% of the time.

"The time between meeting and finally leaving is sometimes like falling in love."
--- Lisa Loeb
===

Women. Sigh. 'Tis weird.

Just exactly how many chances do I have with them? I'm still so ignorant of their ways, of how to convince them to be with me. Being true to myself just doesn't seem to appeal.
===

Watched Shrek 2 last Wednesday and came off laughing every second. That film is marvelously funny, and much, much better than the first. Antonio Banderas' Puss in Boots is the movie's biggest star.

Do NOT fail to watch it. You'll regret it.

You with the electronic snapshots
The interesting conversations
Smooth skin, charming features
Long ebony hair
Just who are you anyway?

Why am I drawn to you?
What guarantee would I have
That all these bits and pieces
Of the you I see and you provide
Are really what you are in real life?
How easily can I be drawn in
Hook line and sinker
By some intricately created composite
Scraps taken from so many others

You terrify me, you puzzle
Where is the glue that holds
All your relevant pieces together
You may simply not exist
Rest in the pieces from whence you came
===

I'm being punished for all my offences
I wanna touch you but I'm afraid of the consequences
I wanna banish you from whence you came
But you're part of me now
And I've only got myself to blame...

--- The Darkness, "Growing on Me"

Lesson for today: Prudence.
===

Just one chance is all I wanted
Just once I might like to win this game
From now on I'll take the chance if I can have it
Just once, just one...

--- Hoobastank, "Just One"

First day back in school today.

My biggest concern so far is how to burn four hours in between classes, three times a week. Frankly I think this is ridiculous. However I need COMLAW1 now.

At least I managed to snag a computer terminal at the eternally crowded Library Cybernook.
===

It feels strange. This term I have absolutely nothing to do with my "home building," St. Miguel Hall. All my classes are in St. La Salle Hall.

I guess it'll take some time before reality sinks in.
===

For once I was actually laughing to a Formula 1 race. At the Monaco Grand Prix I laughed so heartily when that stinker Michael Schumacher put himself out of the race...and all down to an error of his own making.

He chose the worst possible place to try and warm up his brakes and tires: at the track's tunnel, trailing the safety car. Left front brake disc locked up, blue smoke everywhere, he couldn't control the car, he ultimately got bumped to the barriers by Juan Pablo Montoya's tires...and the rest you can probably watch on the news.

Accidents galore happened at the first few laps too, Takuma Sato's BAR-Honda engine failure sparking a series of wrecks that ultimately left only 8 out of the 20 cars finishing the 77-lap race.

But I am very joyous because Monaco 2004 proved that an all-dominating Michael Schumacher is the last thing F1 needs. Two of F1's greatest young guns, Renault's Jarno Trulli and BAR-Honda's Jenson Button, fought it out hammer and tongs at the sharp end of the twisty street race until the very end, and it was such a sight to behold...a world of difference from the mundaneness of Schumacher leading and winning 5 races in a row.

At the checkered flag, Trulli won his maiden F1 race (no better place to do it than in Monaco!), but Button pressed on to the end, claiming second just 0.4 seconds behind.

Bahrain and Monaco...so far they've been the highlights of the season, for one simple reason: genuine wheel-to-wheel racing excitement.
===

One more reason to love my new Turanza tires: high speed shaking is now completely GONE.

On the way to school, I attempted to bring the fight to a speeding Corolla Altis on the Skyway two gears down the 'box. As I pulled away seconds later in fourth gear, little did I realize I was going a butter-smooth 145 km/h.

Martin of HCP egged me to push 160 now. Not anytime soon, dude. But if I do, I'd have more confidence.

Before setting out to the HCP May EB, I dropped by SM Bicutan and bought tapes of The Darkness' album "Permission to Land" and Hoobastank's album "The Reason."

Am I glad I did just that.

"Permission to Land" is a fantastic album, perfect for those times when you simply want to feel good and listen to some gratuitous rock to wash the blues away. All of the tracks are excellent; there isn't one that breaks the album or feels out of place. I had so much fun moshing inside my car, cranking my head unit to 13, cracking Justin Hawkins-style falsettos, doing air guitar in traffic...and generally just being a glam-rock-infused fool.

When they have a concert tour here I'm going to go get tickets. I just can't have enough of The Darkness' glam rock silliness.

Hoobastank meanwhile has matured with their sophomore outing. "The Reason" has more varied and harder-edged music compared to their debut album, and they come off all the better for it. Their first single "The Reason" is deceptively whiny as the rest of the album is signature Hoobastank rock, some years wiser. Nice to see the guys improving.
===

Got to the Fort parking area at around 2:30. I thought it was going to be a sunny EB, but the sky had other plans come 3:30. Rain came hard and fast, and the strong winds threatened to scrap any umbrellas that dared to open the wrong way. When enough people had arrived, President Jun rallied all of us to the nearby Gonuts Donuts store for shelter and for the EB agenda.

Even though my feet were sore from standing up for hours, my shirt and jeans got wet from the rain and I got really chilled from the winds, it was still a fun EB.

At least the rain gave me yet another chance to sample the wet traction of my Bridgestone Turanza GR-80 rubber. Still amazing, it is.

I'm looking into music right now. I've gotten intrigued with the glam-rock orgy that is The Darkness. Funny videos, bad hair and ball-busting falsettos aside, the band's sound is pretty addictive---perfect for the days when one feels good and just wants to mosh along to great riffs.

I might even get the new Hoobastank album too. I doubt it'll be as fun to listen to as The Darkness' "Permission to Land" though.
===

I'm still a raving, incoherent and helpless dunce when it comes to beautiful women. Sigh. Then again I don't want to be a "lonely driver" forever.
===

Brought the Pregio to Cool-Mate for an estimate of what repairs the aircon system needs. The thing just doesn't cool the cabin anymore.

Found out that there may well be a refrigerant leak, and it's going to cost at least PhP10,000 to repair. Yikes.
===

The fact that I'm here writing this post means that I didn't go to Puerto Galera. The winds and rains are just too worrying to go sailing in. It would've been great if I went there too, but personally I was wishing it happened a lot earlier, when sun and heat were still in abundance.

On a side note it looks like we'll be singing in the rain at the HCP EB later.

I finally got new rubber shod on my Honda.

No, they were not Yokohama S306s. They were Bridgestone Turanza GR-80s, and I couldn't believe they were being offered in the right size for my SX8 City.

I've read a lot of kudos for this particular variety and I confirm it. When my car came off the jack stands, I felt the steering wheel lighten. All of a sudden it required even less effort to twirl the wheel around (despite the excellent maneuverability of the City), and as I drove over the same old road acne all over Osmena Highway, I noticed the old omnipresent tire howl was muted almost completely.

On the way home from Villamor AFB, I thought it was the perfect time to test how good the latest Turanzas were on wet asphalt. I was pretty impressed---even against the better-wearing of my old Premios, these tires seemed to resist aquaplaning (and that is a GREAT thing). Even when I was cruising along at 80 km/h on the Skyway, the steering wheel felt resolutely smooth and free of the nasty little lateral tugs that are the hallmark of aquaplaning front tires.

Better still...they fit my budget. The whole shebang cost PhP7,400, amounting to PhP1,850 a tire. I'm a happy customer.
===

Why is it that no one told me the Adidas Stratos 3s I bought were WOMENS' shoes? No wonder they're a size smaller than my Yonexes despite being badged "9".

Ehhh, no matter. As badminton shoes they're pretty damn good. Tito, one of my Villamor AFB badminton barkada, told me tight shoes are better for the sport so that feet don't shuffle inside the shoe that much. He even told me the Stratos looked unisex from most angles.

As long as I don't tie them too tight, the Stratos will serve me well.

I've gotten so absent-minded lately. That just cost me one of my beloved shirts and a towel, both of which got "lost" at Villamor. Years of not having lost anything and now this...

I'm just glad I haven't lost anything more important. What on earth would I do if I lost my car?
===

I might as well give up convincing my parents to let me go to Puerto Galera on Friday. Thing is, the strong winds and torrential rains are the fruit of two typhoons slated to run aground soon, and I don't want to take chances (I bet my parents would think likewise).

Oh well...that's too bad. I will go to the HCP EB this Saturday though.

Thanks to Ercx suggesting a soundtrack for our film, this song is stuck in my brains.

I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a resaon for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
And the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

--- Hoobastank, "The Reason"

I have complained about Hoobastank becoming a band of whiners with this song...but in fairness to them the song's quite good. Just get rid of that stupid video.

Even though it rained buckets today, I came horribly late for the shoot, I got lost in St. Luke's and I had to pedal my car 100 kilometers to bring and fetch Ercx and Gonzo, today's shoot was pretty much a success.

I just hope I could go to Puerto Galera on the 21st, too. It's been years since I've been to a beach. Not that I have a body to strut confidently, but I just want to have some fun with the blockmates I so rarely see nowadays. Ercx seems to have plans of going up north to Ilocos too...a final summer gimmick just like ours, only longer.

I've got one final week of summer left...I should use it wisely.
===

Dad gave me money for replacement tires. It seems I'm finally going with the S306 Yokohamas. Tiremasters, a shop he frequents, offers PhP1,850 per tire but with free balancing and mounting...seems like a good deal to me. All I pay extra for are any lead weights needed to get all the wheels perfectly balanced.
===

Got to wear my Adidas Stratos 3s the whole day today. I'm amazed at how grippy the gum soles are.

My right foot seems happy with the shoe, my left foot less so. My big toe seemed to receive a lot of undue pressure. This after a three games of Dance Maniax. I guess it is a little tight. However I think it'll be all right on the badminton courts.
===

Weekend afternoons I now set aside for YM chats with Cher. I miss that girl.

Day 2 of thesis shooting is tomorrow. We'll be going to St. Luke's Hospital in Quezon City to shoot some footage inside the emergency room.
===

Went on a shopping day with my mom and Bianx yesterday. After doing the groceries, I got a couple new shirts and my second pair of badminton shoes---white/blue/mustard Adidas Stratos 3s worth PhP2,700. I should say they're lower-cut and feel a lot lighter than my pair of Yonexes (which by the way are being sold for PhP2,750 elsewhere---I managed to save PhP250), and offer better arch support too. I don't feel like I'll be buying expensive replacement insoles for this pair anytime soon. I know this from previous experience as the last pair of Adidas shoes I got had terrific foot cushioning too. I just hope the Stratos 3s last longer.

On a side note, they even look good off the court. They're mostly white so I'm pretty sure they'll get soiled quickly though.

Bianx and I also got to see Rocky after so long. He seemed fine---still as irritatingly lean as he was the last time I saw him---and he was on a break from "work" when we saw him. He's supposedly working at Paul Smith now.
===

I did some canvassing for the replacement tires I might get soon to retire my current Bridgestone Premio 325s.

Best deal I saw was for Yokohama S306s---PhP1,800 a tire. Not bad. Nyl from HCP also told me they're pretty good despite the price, older design and the local construction.

Of course I'd love to get better tires...but that would necessitate my moving up to 15" rims as I'd be hard-pressed to find Advan Neovas, Bridgestone GIIIs or Yokohama ES100s for my alloys.

Do you not feel strange
Being the butt of all these jokes
Do you not feel ashamed
That strangers keep putting you down
Do you not feel discouraged
Seeing others trample on your hopes
Do you not feel rage
On those who look at you as a clown

Brown man,
Where has your honor gone?
When will you stop joking at yourself
Making fun of things that point right back to you?
Have you not had enough?
Have you not been confused for too long?
Are you not sick of fighting with yourself?

You need not lash back
Nor resort to gimmickry
All you need is a clear track
Of things to attain victory
All you need is a clear head
Not rage that can leave you dead
All you need is a little self-respect
To make good use of your prospects

Brown man, I believe in you
For you are irreplaceable
Indomitable and true
It is only you
That can dictate what you are
Realize what you aspire for
And reach, no matter how far

Brown man, you must live.

I miss Cher a lot.

It's just been so long since I've spent some time with my friend. It's been a good three months since we've been able to pester each other via YM. It's been a while since we'd exchanged text messages upon messages on end, or dropped a line on the phone. Now that she won in the local elections as councilor I feel like she's become more distant than ever. Maybe I'm being paranoid. I guess I'm just afraid of losing her as she's pretty important to me, despite never having met her in person.

If I only had the time and resources I'd fly to Isabel, Leyte right now...and I'd give her a nice long hug.

I guess I haven't posted about this, but I've been listening to Maroon5 years before anyone else heard about them. (Ahh, the advantages of listening to NU107.) The first time I heard "This Love" I was reminded of the Fine Young Cannibals, a 1980s act, and I was amazed by their other singles. I decided to buy the album---a cassette with a maroon cover and a sketch of a nude long-haired lady holding a musical Pandora's Box.

Now that they've been, ahem, "discovered" by MTV et al, I don't like what all this fame's done to them. I am appalled at groupie girls screaming for Maroon5 simply because lead singer Adam is poster-boy material, not because of the music. (A similar situation hounds Incubus and its front man Brandon Boyd.) The album cover's been changed to make them look like some sort of rock and roll princes (which they are NOT). Worse I just heard "This Love" being played on a noontime show, accompanied by the usual brainless dance routines it has everyday.

The same thing happened to John Mayer...

Ah well. The price of fame. If I don't like Maroon5's next album I can simply skip buying it.

Jack Black had a good point in "School of Rock." MTV tends to just destroy the purity of music and turns it into brainless mush repeated ad nauseam.
===

Woke up at noon today. That's a first.
===

My view on the elections still stands: Had the Commission on Elections (COMELEC) simply pushed through with the plan to automate the process, such complaints of electoral fraud, voter disenfranchisement and slow counting would have been greatly reduced.

I can't stomach how the COMELEC is washing its hands of its failures. It's constantly telling the public that slow counting and disenfranchisement are all their fault. Who on earth squandered billions of pesos of taxpayers' money on automated vote-counting machines that are now out of commission? They could have used those last Monday and saved all of us some unnecessary suspense on who won. Who on earth pushed through with an electronic voter registration program that ultimately resorted to moldy old voters' lists of yesteryear?

Sigh...let's keep things simple all right? Our national elections are a comparatively simple and straightforward exercise compared to those in the United States.
===

Tara called me up the other day. It seems plans are afoot for the Zen Clan's summer outing, just before school starts again on the 24th...and I heard Puerto Galera being mentioned. Cool.

It's been too long since I had a chance to be with all my blockmate friends without any obligations to fulfill in school. I certainly hope my schedule allows it.
===

New e-mail address by the way. I'm sick of Yahoo's worm-infested mail servers.

My new address is bluepiranha@gmail.com.

Just thought I should post the lyrics to one of my favorite songs.

I think
It's getting to the point
Where I can be myself again
It's getting to the point
Where we have almost made amends
I think
It's getting to the point
Where it's the hardest part

And if you call, I will answer
And if you fall, I'll pick you up
And if you cause this disaster
I'll point you home
I'll point you home...

You think
I only think about you
When we're both in the same room
I'm only here to witness
The remains of love exhumed
You think
We're here to play a game of who loves
More than whom

And if you call, I will answer
And if you fall, I'll pick you up
And if you cause this disaster
I'll point you home

But I'm warning you, don't ever do
Those crazy messed-up things that you do
If you ever do, I promise you
I'll be the first to crucify you
Now it's time to prove
That you've come back here to rebuild...

- Barenaked Ladies, "Call and Answer"

We shot our first three scenes at Geraldine's house in Quezon City yesterday, and it turned out pretty good.

There I got to meet Geraldine, Reggie Curly (Denise's actors in her famous 6-minute short film "Hallucinations") and Geraldine's parents Mr. and Mrs. Tan, who were more than game to help us all out. It seemed like we were having more fun and jokes than footage, but it was all right because we enjoyed it.

I'm going to enjoy working with them again...and we will be. The next shoot's tentatively scheduled for next Monday.
===

Cher made it.

As of last count she was fifth in the councilorship race; she was the only new candidate in the top eight.

I'm happy for you my friend. Congratulations. *HUGS*
===

A dream I had this morning disturbed me. I dreamt Tita Vik had died for some reason. I simply couldn't believe my favorite aunt would die just like that.

My imagination's toying with me I guess.

Am still trying to get used to the new features of Blogger. Apparently nowadays people can add comments to mine, too, without my having to get third-party utilities and messing around with more code.

The others I'm still figuring out. I doubt I'll be able to use them though. I'm not as techie as I used to be.
===

Our first shoot's going to be this afternoon. Am crossing my fingers it's going to be a good one.

Before that...I'll try to dabble with my blog template for a while.

I thought it's about time I changed the way my blog looked. I love blue, yes, but the old template just reeks of flatness. Besides I'm still not skilled enough to trust myself with HTML code.
===

My other computer just shuts down whenever I try to go online. Turns out it might have the Sasser virus, so I'm now downloading a patch or two from Microsoft.

Apparently Sasser is so potent, it's managed to interfere with so many vital operations (I'm talking about the UK Coast Guard, banks, and government offices) in Europe, and tech analysts are spooked by this latest security threat.

All I can say is...Microsoft should write this up as another FAILURE.
===

I got to see "School of Rock" and "Drumline" on Pao's DVDs. The first movie ain't bad at all, but I guess I found it a little too simplistic for my liking. If you've seen the trailers there isn't much more to look forward to. Jack Black is way funny though, and he does show a healthy development of his character.

I can't help but notice that little kid Melinda Cosgrove though. She looks eerily like my ex.

"Drumline" meanwhile is "Bring It On" with a decidedly African-American flavor, and with big-band performances instead of flash cheering routines. The whole film is very slick and oozes high production values---just how can one explain the smoothness of the marching band routines, with all their complicated formations? You just have to give it kudos.

The film is a little generic in terms of its main story (a fish-out-of-water situation with a coming-of-age story) but it's well done and I have no complaints. Great stuff.
===

As it turns out I am unable to cast my vote. After 4 weeks of searching for my name in the voters' lists, it has never shown up.

Their loss, I guess. I have no fault here.
===

Thinking about the high school crush I bumped into the past couple of days has got me thinking. How much have I changed?

I used to think of there being no one more beautiful than her, back when my world consisted of high school and nothing else. In hindsight she wasn't as desirable as I once thought she was. She was just someone I didn't know, apart from being ludicrously smart, friendly and cute. Cute, yes, but she was nowhere near being beautiful. I bet if we had ever had a chance to talk any longer than we used to, I would've discovered more things I'd find not as desirable as I once thought.

Now that I've gotten to where I am, I think I've grown up---even just by a little bit.
===

I think I should give this new template a test spin.

Yesterday I was pretty much out the whole time. I had volunteered to join Paolo to help out with the nitty-gritty of the DLSU enrollment process. Turns out it didn't really take him that long. He's pretty much in---all he's waiting for is the payment from his educational plan.

I met one of his friends there, too. Her name was Vicky, and she was supposedly a rocker chick and "one of the boys" in terms of demeanor. Found out she was also a budding photographer itching to get a digital camera. She has a good imaginative head on her shoulders, methinks. I also noticed that Vicky and Pao were quite chummy with each other, but he told me it was nothing more than that.

After enrollment requirements we headed off to Glorietta to bring Vicky to some people she'd meet to go to a gig later on. Pao and I decided to burn some money in Timezone on a couple games of Initial D. I swear, I seem to be the only player who drives a Honda S2000.

While we were on the way back to parking, I noticed a familiar face on the escalator right in front of me. I felt like I knew this girl---she reminded me a lot of my old high school crush, and I'm still pretty convinced it was her. She was with a group of friends and they seemed all primped up for some occasion (girls' night out perhaps?) while I was having second thoughts about calling her, partly because of the lingering stench of the caramelized-onion burger I had eaten an hour earlier.

But then I looked at her legs just under her skirt and I noticed that she wasn't this chubby before. Then again it's been a fair 3-4 years since I saw her last...

I joked to Pao that the Ateneo makes one fat. Of course it's just a joke. Marc, that Atenean DJ friend of mine, has always been thin as a matchstick.

Overall it was a good day.
===

We're finally going to start shooting our thesis film's footage. The plan so far is for shooting at Quezon City on Election Day afternoon. I wonder what happened to our storyboard though...

Speaking of Election Day...it looks like I won't be able to vote after all. My name hasn't shown up on the voters list all these weeks.

Oh well.
===

Currently these are the things I want for myself.

- A new Mercedes-Benz SLK 200. This roadster is so damn cute, sporty and suave...too bad it's so damn expensive too. Then again that fancy folding steel roof may not be as useful here as it is in other places. Maybe I'll wait until I generate my first couple million or so. When on earth will that happen?

- A spare badminton racket. A cheap Yonex Carbonex model would be okay. Just in case my Kawasaki's strings snap.

- My second pair of badminton shoes. Pao tells me Asics are the best. I'll need to save up PhP3,200 first.

- A replacement phone. There's nothing wrong with my Nokia 8250, but I'd like to try a nice cheap Sony Ericsson model for now. Besides it's about time I banished the memories that came with the damn thing.

- Sennheiser headphones. Reputed to be the best, period...and I saw a PhP1,550 pair being sold in Park Square. Not bad. Pao says you get what you pay for, and I'm definitely NOT buying cheap-ass Philips headphones any more.

- The squarish gold-colored Panasonic CD/MP3 player. It looks so damn classy and it's a welcome change from all those round clamshells of plastic I usually see. PhP9,000.

- A nice budget sound system for my car. I can probably be happy with a good premium amp and some middle-class tweeters for now. Am addicted to subwoofers now, but that's going to add too much weight for my kind of driving.

I think I'm going to need some serious moolah. Must save.
===

Mao's been sending me e-mail from San Francisco. She says she's enjoying her stay, although she noted the heat was quite similar to that of Manila. I think they're off to Las Vegas now.

Been gone for a while. It's not like there's much to write about these days.

Let me start with grades. I got them around the 19th, and while I'm happy I passed MATHAN1 (got a 1.5), that also means I lose my Dean's List status when I need it the most. Oh well...I hope my schedule next term's flexible enough to help us keep shooting.

On the same day, I got started on doing our storyboard---this time using the correct 3-shots-per-page format. Because I was working alone and I had a whole lot of distractions coming my way, it took me a whole week to finish.

All in all I filled up 49 pages full of my usual anime-style sketches, and they were hell to finish. There were times when I really did not feel like sketching; that's something I can't be forced to do well. It has to come naturally because I have my sketching off-days. It doesn't help that the storyboard I made was meant to be more detailed than most (I am a stickler for visual detail).

I'm not even sure if the shots I picked and drew in were all right, but finishing in such a tight deadline is heaven for me and my aching eyes.

Finally, I had Sunday afternoon out with Paolo C. Original plan was to invite Bong and Jared but the two of us were the only ones available. We went to Alabang Town Center where we watched Hellboy and hung around. I was surprised at how critical Paolo was of Hellboy---he kept seeing "a little bit of everything" in the movie, and I tended to agree with him. While it started well, the movie gets a bit mediocre at the end, but it's still an enjoyable action movie.

While I'm talking on the subject, Paolo finally made it to DLSU. Am going with him on the 7th of May to help him with enrollment. That means I may have a potential carpool ready, if our schedules coincide.

Am amazed at Paolo's Pajero. He spent a little moolah on it to get himself a pretty spiffy sound system. We tried playing my Initial D Super Euro-best CD on it, and I heard bass being kicked out by the subwoofer that I wasn't even aware of before. He also lent me Bamboo's new CD, "As the Music Plays," which is a kick-ass track.

That cool set of sounds makes me scratch my head. I wonder when I'll get enough moolah to spend on a good, cheap sound system of my own in my little blue Honda.

Tonight I tried my hand at writing prose yet again.

Buoyed by the confidence of coming up with much of our thesis project's script---of which most of my contribution came from modifying Denise's story at a massively huge "eureka!" moment---I thought I'd go back to writing the short stories I used to do way back in high school. I even had the misguided impulse at that time to write a whole novel, although my best friend Kwapaw beat me to that twice.

Sad to say, most if not all my stories and novels got stuck in the middle. I never finished any of them. I had a better chance of finishing proper poems (which I seldom wrote) than motivating myself to get over prose-writer's block. I sort of relented to the realization that I was better at thinking up ideas for stories than writing them.

I'd like to think thesis was different though. I'd like to think that my conception of our thesis story was an insight into something genuine, something approaching talent, something more than just a one-shot deal.

But then I got thinking...what do I want to write about?

I immediately identified my weaknesses. I am bad at making characters because they come off being too perfect, too similar, too goody-goody. Somehow I was under the notion that writing should be an escape from reality. I was constantly setting my stories in places I wished to be, yet never had an idea of what life was in them (e.g. Japan). And don't get me started about rivals. I never made antagonists convincing enough to make my stories interesting.

Maybe I should write about stuff that happens to me. Rewrite it somehow so that it comes off as something a little different, a little more interesting.

That was one of the things I've mulled over when I looked at my blog after posting in here for so long. Maybe, just maybe, I should recycle all these electronic memories I've posted on this page and spin them around, use them for something else. God knows just around 100 people read this page every month anyway.

I don't know. Maybe I should give it another try. I probably won't get to write any life-changing stories but knowing my friends enjoy them will be all right by me.
===

My PlayStation's acting up very badly nowadays. There goes one of my sources of entertainment.

I now live in a sea
Full of numbers
Indecipherable symbols
Cryptic, verbose words
And enigmas who call
Themselves fellow souls

My head spins
Dazed and confused
What current do I follow?
Which wave should I ride?
How sure am I that
Whichever I set my feeble mind to
Won't drag me deeper
Drown me in the depth
Of manufactured despair?

Why can't things be
As easy as 1, 2, 3
Where there isn't any gray,
Simply black and white
Why can't I just
Pull myself out of this ocean
Float to the surface
Feel the air beyond my fingertips
Why can't life be
A little less complicated

I tread and swim
No matter how much effort I put
I see dregs of numerous souls
Sinking as I rise
...Or am I even rising at all?
This sea is simply too deep
And we are all
Drowning
Killing ourselves
In our own complexities
===

One of my grandmas was hospitalized on Good Friday (which also happened to be Mom's birthday) for high blood pressure. We had a little scare that day, but now Inang's doing better and should be out of the hospital.

I'm just glad nothing else happened.
===

Finals week, it is. Statistics went pretty good, although some doubts entered my psyche about some of the questions...

I got MATHAN1 finals later. Wish me luck.
===

Mao's leaving for the US this summer. I think she's leaving right after the calculus finals.

I wish you well, friend. Take care.
===

Rumor says it that Cher's in the running for councilorship of Isabel, Leyte. She told me she was reportedly slated at fourth spot out of eight winners, and there are 26 candidates all in all.

I'm proud of you, friend. Whatever happens, I'll be behind you all the time.

Watched the Formula 1 Bahrain Grand Prix last night.

Despite the inevitable conclusion (Ferrari winning AGAIN), I'm glad everywhere else on the track, there was a lot of honest-to-goodness, wheel-to-wheel racing that I thought F1 never had. All too often the 16 or so races seem so processional and boring. No wonder WRC now has more viewers.

Bahrain proved F1 has what it takes to win the hearts of race aficionados. I just wish there were more tracks like it, the kind that provide overtaking opportunities EVERYWHERE, not just in the pits. No one enjoys watching clever pit strategy, Mr. Ecclestone.

Am very disappointed with McLaren-Mercedes Benz, whom I've supported ever since I followed F1. All their cars seem to get worse and worse each year. What use is getting the best race drivers when you can't get them the machinery to do their jobs in?

But now I'm very delighted with British American Racing Honda's consistent performance, winning their second straight podium position in third. Honda seem to be able to recoup their humiliating recent record of grenading engines. Kudos to long-overdue miracle boy Jenson Button...I am now officially one of his fans.
===

After two weeks of missing badminton, I am pleasantly surprised at how well I did today, when I did come back to play. Today's record: three wins, one loss.

I am ON today.
===

Found a dead mosquito in our rice bowl tonight as I was having dinner. It must have died from the trapped heat. Ewww.

No matter what people say about eating insects as an extra dose of protein, I cannot stomach eating them.
===

Amazing how true friends can find enough time from their busy schedules to listen to others rant and whine.

Thanks for the advice, Cher. Amishu. Am always here if you need help. *LOTSAHUGS*
===

I've long been
Staring at your life
A forbidden glance
Into the secrets you hold
The workings of your mind
The yearnings of your soul
Yet I find
When it comes to being
What I want to be to you
All the staring I do
Into your being
No matter how hard
No matter how long
No matter how often
I find myself
As confused as ever
I always return
To the nothingness I began with

Attended the first death anniversary of one of my mom's friends. After the mass (way shorter than I'm used to), we had a really early dinner at the grotto area. For dessert there were four dozen-boxes of Gonuts Donuts---pretty much the local equivalent of Krispy Kreme.

Inevitably we had to talk about Krispy Kreme's pending arrival here as well. Funny how anyone with a sane state of mind will consider forking out PhP80 for each piece of what's essentially policeman food. There's something really, really wrong with that picture...
===

Sigh...I've been lethargic for the past couple of weeks and blaming it all on the heat doesn't seem to make sense.

I guess part of me isn't happy with how things are right now. I have to admit this term has been the most monotonous I've ever had---one I never really enjoyed, one I simply let slide over me, one I didn't feel any motivation to perform in. The only thing I really devoted myself to was badminton...and even then I don't feel like I got much out of it. I feel as if I wasted my time playing games when I should have been involved with orgs...even just to fill up my resume to show potential employers that I had a life.

And then there's this issue of me admiring a certain someone who suddenly seems so cold and aloof. I guess I'm doomed to never have my way with women at all.

I'm really not happy. I've become so sick of this routine...mainly because 90% of the time, I've been alone. I guess after all this time, I've gotten rather sick of myself.

Found out today that my MATHAN quiz scores were really, really low. I'm going to need a small miracle to muster enough points in the final exam just to pass.

Our prof asked me what was the matter. I told her I didn't know, myself. I'm aware I'm one of the more active people in class and I usually give the right answers orally, but whenever I'm alone and faced with a test booklet and only so many minutes to do the quiz in, I just get lost.

Shit.
===

On a side note I'm glad my instruction helped my young classmates in today's STAT102 quiz. It kinda took the edge off my moping over MATHAN.

Good luck guys. I'll tutor you again for the finals.
===

Now that the term's almost over I feel like going to sleep for a little while.

I can't just yet though. I still have to adjust my schedule next term so that I get PROJCO2 with my thesismates as well. I still have to do statistical analysis for our Market Research survey. I still have final exams to finish.

Looks like that extended nap will have to wait.

It amazes me how people can go on for so long without sleep.

Me? I'd rather hit the sack than succumb to another bout of TB.
===

It's April Fools day today...not like I'm one for pranks, much.
===

Got to YM with Chrissa last night after not having contact with my UPian friend for so long. Apparently she and Kathy had problems with their academics lately and were in danger of getting delayed.

Good luck to your exam tomorrow, friend.
===

I'm hosting our Literature Elective and Marketing Research final projects later (they're both presentations). That means I'm coming to school in stuffy businesslike clothes in the sweltering summer heat.

Right.
===

I've had my fill of driving in the cramped streets of Binondo, Manila and Caloocan. I'm sick of opportunistic drivers blocking my lane because they want to make a left turn in the wrong places. I spite the swerving buses and lane-cutting jeeps.

I'm just glad I live in the suburbs of Para?aque.
===

Honda Club's planning an outrageously packed-chock-full-of-activities Summer EB this April 24th at Subic.

MAN! I wish I can come! If only to try out a lap or two of circuit driving...

Kudos to President Jun and all the other officers for this one.
===

I'm back from school...and while our reports were a mixed bag, at least I went home happy and in a good mood.

After the extended MARKRES class (our final meeting), three of my classmates from STAT102 wanted me to help them study for tomorrow's quiz. I originally planned to go home at 4:00pm, but I ended up leaving for home at 6:30. I guess that's how much I wanted these girls to pass the coming quiz---I didn't mind being late as long as I was able to help them understand what I was able to. (Good luck to BJ, Pia and Lyn.)

I think it's also an indication of a potential career I should consider taking in the future. I've been ignoring it all this time, but on the way home, mired in the traffic of Quirino Ave., I was actually pondering being a teacher.

I've been helping classmates all this time with the subjects I was good at; I know I'll need some sort of M.A. if I'm going to teach in DLSU, and I don't really plan to take an M.A. in Economics or Statistics or whatever. Maybe I should take it to DLSZ, my high school...and while I'm at it maybe I can teach either economics or statistics?

I now have two possible careers---my dad pushed me into being a motoring writer once. What pipe dreams, these two are. Heheheheh!
===

Happy birthday Twisha! :D

Spent the night at Jensy's in Caloocan, which my parents didn't really approve of (it's in Caloocan) but let me do so anyway. We had to wrack our brains figuring out how to use SPSS to help us analyze our data for our Marketing Research survey.

Let me just say SPSS isn't the most user-friendly program around. It pretends to be as ubiquitous as Microsoft Excel, but it takes many a glance at its Student Assistant videos to get a hang of its many functions.

The five of us---KD, Jensy, Anna, Tantan and I---were crammed in Jensy's room, tallying results, playing music (through her awesomely powerful Altec Lansing speakers), laughing our heads off. It was fun, despite being pressured by time.

I was the one who hit the sack the earliest; at around 11:30 pm I succumbed to my exhaustion. Apparently I was embarrassing myself while I was asleep by snoring. I really wish I could do something about it...but it looks like I'm a born snorer. I was up the earliest as well; I had to be given that I still had an 8:00 class today.
===

More to come later.

Transparent to all
Porous, permeable
Why must I be so?
Any action brewing in my head
Before its realization
Instantly predicated by disdain
===

After all these years, I wish I had more of a spine.

I wish I always had the guts to tell people the truth about how I perceive them. I wish I always had enough confidence in myself to stand up for myself and my thoughts despite the jeers that inevitably come. I wish I could reach out and tell the special people in my life that I love them just the way they are, without coming off as insincere or sarcastic.

Yes, I am a wimp...and goddamnit, I wish I weren't.
===

I got started on our thesis film's storyboard just last Saturday night. So far I've been trying my best to draw with details, like I usually do, yet draw in the shots I had in mind with speed.

I'm not so sure if what I'm doing works, but so far I've done 5 scenes out of 25. If the cells weren't so small, and if I had more talent and/or time on my hands (I'm poor at drawing backgrounds), I could probably envision my storyboard as some sort of long comic strip.

I remember watching some behind-the-scenes specials for The Matrix and I was flabbergasted at how detailed the storyboards were. It was as if some top-flight comic book pencillers and inkers got to work on the blank cells and presented the movie's scenes almost exactly like we all saw them on the silver screen.

I sure can't come close to doing anything that marvelous!
===

I guess I have to be honest: I'm pretty bad at keeping secrets to myself. It's not that I tattle on others (I almost never tell on other people's secrets). It's just that the things I keep hidden from others are the ones that tend to eat at me inside like some proverbial can of worms. Most of these worms I keep within are all about myself.

There are times I wish I could just open up to friends and let it all out, in the hope that I might feel better afterwards. I guess I just got my hopes up too high though. I'm discovering the painful reality that in college, everyone has his/her own little world, where he/she is the center of it and everyone else is simply an actor playing some sort of part to his/her advantage. Sad but true.

I guess there's not much I can do to cure my eternal habit of talking to myself, then. Melancholic, I am.
===

I admire how you think, how creative you are, how magically your spirit conjures up its ideas. I admire your refreshing taste in fashion. I admire your sense of humor and how amiable you are. I admire how calm and unruffled you are by the challenges you meet everyday.

Yet you do not want to be admired. You view it as a sickness. You desire and long to be undesirable...yet you are doomed not to be so.

If admiring you is a disease, I am afraid it might be one I may not recover from.

Managed to dig up info from my fellow SX8ers about how I can repair my car's ills...at a smaller cash outlay than I thought. Now it's probably just a matter of saving up the money, which I should get to work on.

After finishing that thesis.
===

Reminder to self: The start of the local campaign season brings with it unbelievable traffic.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing this morning, strapped inside my car. Cars were at a standstill or crawling at a snail's pace all along the South Luzon Expressway. This had to happen when I had a quiz in MATHAN1 I couldn't afford to miss.

Obviously someone wasn't doing their job properly...

I was practically wailing helplessly behind the wheel, regretting my non-use of the Skyway.

Just so you know I arrived 20 minutes late...and by some act of God I managed to finish the test. Can't say my answers were all bulletproof though. I do wonder how on earth I'm going to pass MATHAN1?

I don't know about you guys but personally I don't like the way us Filipinos have to constantly shout to the world that one of us made it big somewhere.

I've had my fill of hearing left and right that some Fil-Am made it to "American Idol," or some Fil-Am's a second-rate actor or comedian, or what have you. The term "Fil-American" is misleading. How sure are we that this "child of the Philippines" is more Filipino and less American than we think he/she is?

I know Pinoys need an ego boost every now and then, just to prove to ourselves that "yes, the Filipino can." I wish however that the Filipinos we glamorize have a more substantial contribution to the world, rather than just being some flash-in-the-pan starstruck celebrity.

I also wish that we didn't need Fil-Ams to glorify our race. I want Filipinos to do us honor so we can prove to Pinoy-bashing foreigners that we're more than just Spanish-influenced misfits in the cultural tapestry that is Asia.

While I'm on the subject I'm pretty much amazed that some Pinoys are planning to be the first national team to climb Mt. Everest. True, it's a been-there-done-that kind of thing, but it's marvelous nonetheless (considering we're tropical rugrats that don't have the high-hemoglobin benefit of the native Sherpas). Godspeed to you.
===

I want to hold on to my SX8 Honda City, but things seem to pile up against its favor. My mom's considering ditching it and getting a new car.

Honda Makati told me about replacing the steering column, although frankly I think I was being fooled by them overenthusiastic service advisors looking for a profit. The loud knocking noise from the steering over rough terrain has gone away, being a simple isolated incident. However, the car needs new rubber on its alloys soon enough. I would love to see the various dents on the car's bodywork gone as well. And if that weren't enough, my shocks might even need replacing---my ride height seems too high especially at the back.

If I'm going to calculate the costs it'd break down to this.
Tires: PhP1,750 per tire X 4 = PhP7,000
Dent removal/painting: PhP3,000 (estimate)
Paraut shock absorbers: PhP2,500 X 4 = PhP10,000

Total PhP20,000 (estimate)

Where am I going to get that sort of money? All the meager income I get from selling Avon products goes to my thesis, and even then I'm forced to cover up for my debts because my customers don't seem to be paying as early as I'd like them to.

Mom's complained time and again about the prohibitively high price of maintenance for my little blue runabout. I can probably bring the car for periodic maintenance away from Honda Makati and its sky-high costs. For a simple oil change or tuneup I should just bring it to our friendly Caltex lube bay. I'll probably just bring it in to Honda Makati for any major checkups that will come after 20,000 km.

So many things seem to be wrong with my car...yet I love the damn thing. I have the feeling that looking after my car might be the death of me and my bank account.
===

Thought I'd indulge in some poetry of my own. Bear in mind I'm no Robert Burns.
===

I didn't notice
You were filling a void
A void I thought I'd
Plugged up for good
And I am scared
For letting you into me
Might just be the biggest
Blunder of all

Emotions
Fleeting bundles of humanity
I thought I'd best do without
Yet I am victim to them too:
Human
Not perfect
Not infallible
Pitiable and weak
Subject to the wiles and whims
Of hormones and genetics

Circumstance
You and I are to part
Yes, soon enough
How much sand do I
Still have in your hourglass?
Shall I evict you from myself
Or should I hold on
I do not know

Someone seems to have hacked into my e-mail account.

For some reason I've been getting undelivered-mail notices from people I never even bother sending mail to, for the simple reason that I don't know them. Worse, I seem to have sent them malicious mail with virus-laden attachments without my knowing.

Changed my password just to be sure.
===

I had a pretty intense night's sleep when I woke up today. I had three or four powerful dreams, all exploring my fears. These felt so real. It was as if I was really in them, although they fell short of being totally "lucid dreams" because for some reason I couldn't be in control of the situations I was placed in.

Olive just had to be in one of them---and it had to be the one that sticks in my mind the most. Yuck.

At least I got to work with Parasite Eve's hottie Aya Brea in that one. She was ball-breakingly stern in my dream, but man, she's a babe! Too bad she had to turn on me and bust my ass...
===

Got an e-mail from an alleged Filipino-bashing radio personality based in the US. Personally I could really care less about what he said about us being filthy, dirty, uncultured and Third World. So what? I don't really give a shit what he thinks. These race-bashing idiots are simply afraid and too closed-minded.
===

I had a pretty hectic Saturday. That afternoon I was around for Honda Club's March EB, and I got to watch a bit of the "Honda Excites" event.

Managed to watch the burnout competition, which featured various tuned EK Civics trying to smoke their front tires and leave as much rubber as possible on the asphalt. Some of the competitors' friends were even physically pulling the car by the window frames to avoid it from running off prematurely. That event was a total waste of motor oil (to get the tires slipping and smoking) and tires, possibly even engines...but man, did it draw a crowd or what!

Apparently I'd won the early bird award for arriving earliest among the non-officers in the club. Got a red cap and mug from Cisco Systems and a blue umbrella from HP. Cool.

I even managed to climb aboard Lyndon's mildly modified red EF Civic hatch (the SX8 City's grandpa) to grab a bite or two at Brothers Burger. He nailed the throttle until it hit the redline on the first two gears...and man, what a noise! My stock SX8 feels and sounds mild by comparison.

That evening I got to watch the DLSU Pops Orchestra's annual major concert, this time at the CCP. Pops was pretty much great, apart from a couple of noticeable fauxes pases.

The fly in the ointment was the technical personnel. So many times the vocalists were belting their throats out to the audience...only not to be heard because their mikes were off and the spotlights were wandering off somewhere else. These sorts of mistakes were irritating and definitely not worthy of a performance at the CCP.
===

Along the way home at around 10:30pm, I took the Skyway to hasten my arrival time at home. I was cruising at a steady 90-100 km/h (legal limit) when a white Nissan Patrol SUV zoomed past while we were nearing the toll plaza. Apparently no one was enforcing the speed limit at this late hour.

When I passed the toll plaza, I sunk my right foot into the floorboard, redlining the engine through the first two gears. The acceleration slingshot me past the Patrol. I then performed a quick shift to top gear to a relaxed cruise, speedo needle pinned at 100 km/h.

Around a minute later I saw the Patrol accelerating again, trying to catch up with me, definitely going faster than legal. Fully convinced no one was going to point a radar gun at me, I blipped the throttle, cranked the shifter to third, dropped the clutch and rocketed my way to 140 km/h---just to prove that this idiot ran indecent speed on the wrong kind of fuel and on the wrong vehicle.

The SUV never even came close. By the time we both exited via the Bicutan off-ramp, I was too far out of reach.

I do these things on a stock D15B7 engine with no VTEC...I wonder what more I can do had I possessed the budget to modify the car?

Pipe dreams, I guess. Not until I take 6 months on a good-paying job.

I'm just happy I got to test how the car now feels at serious speed once again, after keeping to the legal limit for a long while. The high-speed shaking is still there, still kicking in at around 125 km/h or so, but the other SX8ers of HCP experience this too so I guess I'm not alone. They tell me it should go away the faster I go, but I'm not too sure I'd want to do that.

Battle Gear 2 definitely got the better of me and my wallet today.

I was hooked up to the driving cabinet at Robinsons Place Manila for so many games on end. It's not even funny how much I've spent on the game, considering it's a lot cheaper per game than Initial D ver.2 or ver.3.

But thanks to all the practice, I can now say I've somewhat mastered the downhill mountain pass, Course 4, on all three classes. Managed to record ghosts of my best runs on each class. Class-C was with the EK9 Honda Civic Type R, Class-B was on the FC3S Mazda RX-7 and Class-A was on the NA2 Honda NSX. I've gotten the gist of how to drift these awesome JDM street stars around the tight, sequential corners.

Still have to do so in real life though.
===

I'm running out of steam. I want this term to be over immediately.

I still have to finalize the thesis script and make a damn storyboard though (so we can go shoot in the summertime). Not to mention there's also the MARKRES research plan and computations to do. And that crappy report on "Vanilla Sky" for LITELEC.

Man, I don't even want to think of doing these...all I want to do is get rested and exhaust myself again playing badminton.
===

I guess I'm just down on motivation to go finish the two or so years left in my college life. I don't know. Every new term just seems to feel like the last one.

I guess people can say I'm bored.
===

And this is not goodbye, she said
It is just time for me to rest my head
She does not walk, she runs instead
Down these jagged streets and into my bed

When I was
Fumbling through your dresser drawer
Forgot what I was looking for
To try to guide me in the right direction
Making use of all this time
Keeping everything inside
Close my eyes and listen to you crying

I'm lifting you up, I'm letting you down
I'll dance until dawn, I'm fooling around
I'm not giving up, I'm making your love
This city's made us crazy and we must get out

--- Maroon5, "Must Get Out"

I suppose I've written too much about badminton and too little about my life these days. I suppose it's because I've beem voluntarily keeping myself busy so as not to think about any other things that might ruin my days.
===

I've been single for a year or so. Most of that time was spent simply trying to get over my first relationship and burying its ghosts completely, moving on with my life. Somehow though, I feel I won't be convinced I've moved on until I get into another relationship.

Therein lies my current state of mind.

For some reason I don't feel the compulsion to go out and meet pretty girls like I used to. I see them all the time (it can't be helped, I study in the College of Liberal Arts), but I don't feel as mystified by their beauty and charm this time around. It's not simply because I'm naturally very shy and don't know jack about courting women, either. I just feel that there are better things to do than entangle myself in a relationship right now.

Granted, I miss all the emotion and the openness I used to enjoy with my ex. There are a lot of things I think of everyday that I don't divulge even on this blog. Maybe it's self-censorship, maybe it's my fear of getting rejected or thought of as weirder than I already am. But I have to agree with Lin Kong's decision in Ha Jin's novel "Waiting": if I had to choose between having burning love and peace of mind, I'd definitely take the latter.

Cher also warned me about the dangers of getting into another relationship. She told me it was actually quite good that Denise and I didn't end up together as I might just end up comparing her with my ex, because in her opinion, at that time I wasn't as finished with my previous relationship as I ought to have been. No one deserves that kind of treatment.

This is me being very honest: I'm as lustful for women and sex as the next heterosexual guy. I submit to my desires every now and then (think of that statement what you may). I'm still even idealistic enough to believe that someday, somewhere, a woman will come along in my life that will be just so right for me.

Right now though, involvement with women is the least of my priorities.
===

I remember feeling a bit of resentment towards Ms. Milette Zamora, the Marketing Dept.'s vice-chairperson, when she angrily stormed into our MARKSAM class last January and told us illegitimate students to drop the class immediately.

After her three-day seminar on Art in Advertising though, I hold her in very high esteem. Her lecture was, quite frankly, awesome. She really did know her advertising well. Ms. Zamora basically took the predominant elements and treatments from the 10 or so major art eras and studied how they got applied in modern advertisements---art including layout, architecture, catchphrases and music. She knows how to make people laugh, too. And have I mentioned she plays the meanest classical guitar I've ever seen?

I look forward to having her as my professor for MARKAD1.
===

Mao wrote in her blog that she, along with a lot of other people, wants to see people with passion for what they do.

I wonder...it's these very same people who risk a whole lot, really. For every bloke that gets noticed for the passion he puts into what he loves doing, there are at least 10 others who don't get the recognition they deserve. Unfortunately these 10 go the route of the also-rans, never to get any proper compensation.

Sad, but this is the reality of the world. Some people will never really know.
===

Paolo and Bong were inviting me to go somewhere today, but judging from their silence, they seem to have taken it back. I'm pretty much resting at home today.

Not a bit too shabby, too: I need my energy for tomorrow's tourney.

My heels hurt. Methinks they're asking for new badminton shoes faster than I can earn the money to buy them.

Then again, if you played for 6 hours, your feet would complain too.
===

While checking my e-mail, I was sent the schedule of games and the final player list for the DLSZ Alumni Association badminton tourney on Sunday.

Seems as if there isn't a lower class than what I was put in (C1). No matter, I'll play my best anyway. I didn't see any familiar names on the player listing though.

The tourney starts at 8:00am and ends around 5:30pm. That equates to quite a long stay at South Smash.

I can feel my heels protesting already.
===

After securing a computer ahead of time and suffering from inexplicable delays in accessing DLSU's website, I finally got to input my schedule for next term.

I got a loaded 4-class MWF sked and a single class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I think it's pretty much ideal for any badminton and thesis work I might have to do.
===

I miss Cher. I'm thinking of sending her snail mail after Sunday's tournament. She tells me she's gotten a little impatient with waiting for campaign season to start on the 25th.

Kaya mo yan, friend. :)

On the subject of badminton shoes: Kawasaki or Mizuno?

Coach Hermes told us he had incoming stocks of Kawasaki badminton shoes at PhP2,500. The brand did seem like a dedicated badminton shoe brand, unlike Yonex and Mizuno which also made volleyball shoes. I do remember Bart wearing Kawasakis too...maybe I should opt for them instead?

Sigh...before that happens though I gotta save up some more.
===

I have seen the light. I've seen how expensive playing Initial D ver.2 can be. I found a game that's just as engaging and is less expensive.

I now play Taito's Battle Gear 2. It has the same RHD driving position, the same twisty mountain road courses (and even some street circuits) and a similar if less numerous complement of great JDM road cars. No saving my progress on a magnetic card though, but that's something I can let go of when I save PhP20 per game and still enjoy the capability of performing true drifts.

I tried practicing on BG2, and I even got my runs on Course 4 saved as ghost car runs for others to beat on Time Attack. Scored the Class-C ghost in an EK9 Honda Civic Type R, while I scored the Class-B ghost run in an AP1 Honda S2000.
===

Had leveling for the DLSZ Alumni badminton tourney last Sunday.

I didn't see too many familiar faces, but I did have a great time at South Smash's foot-friendlier Taraflex-on-wood courts. A lot of the players there were really great----good for A and B rank. I was initially ranked B2 myself, but the organizers seemed to take pity on my relative inexperience and put me in C1 instead. Not bad for a first tourney, I guess.

As friendly as Taraflex courts are, I'm not prepared to pay PhP350 per HOUR playing at South Smash. I'll stick to rubber-painted cement at PhP60 the whole day at Villamor AFB, thanks.
===

Leveling did leave me largely exhausted the whole week though. Up until today I still feel lethargic and running on very little energy. When I played at Villamor on Monday, I felt as if my body refused to chase shuttlecocks even if I was commanding every muscle to do so.
===

Had a seminar for my Literature elective subject today, and it was on F. H. Batacan's detective novel "Smaller and Smaller Circles." It was pretty interesting because the author was female, she wrote the very first Filipino detective novel, and the last thing I expected of it was that it was very bloody and gory.

After the seminar I wanted to buy a copy, but I was scrimping on cash and thought otherwise. PhP120 is cheap for a novel though. Better luck next time.

One unwelcome sight I saw at the seminar was Miss Olive Hernandez though. Apparently she now teaches literature in DLSU. Damn. I did not fancy seeing her again after irreconcilable differences working with her back in Zobel on Counterpoint and the yearbook.

The sooner I finish LITELEC, the better for me.
===

Yet again we are subjected to the rigors of setting up our schedules for next term. I'm now taking two "must-pass-or-else-get-horribly-delayed" subjects, MARKCU1 and QUATECH. Am taking COMLAW1, too (commercial law), and add to that my thesis subject PROJCO2, when Denise, Ercx and I are due to defend.

Critical term, the next one is...

February passed by so quickly. Damn.
===

I last wrote about my new Yonex shoes. Turns out they were devils to my tootsies. As they are they don't have much in arch support, so they left me flatfooted after wearing them the whole day just for walking. Also being thin-soled shoes, they have precious little cushioning power. Just warming up before a game left my feet absorbing huge shocks I didn't feel in my old Filas. As a result I didn't last very long in a game.

Last Friday I went around looking for some sort of solution. Personally I was looking for an insole or something by Dr. Scholl to aid the shock absorption. What I found wasn't exactly what I was looking for, but it was good all the same. Managed to find a pair of Sof-Sole AIRR insoles which were unfortunately sized for women's shoes, but fit my Yonex boots quite well anyways.

I wore them upon entry into Villamor AFB and I was pleasantly surprised with the improvement. I lasted at least 3 more hours without experiencing much pain in my feet and the shock absorption was working. The price was pretty dear though: those babies cost me PhP665. At least they're US-made and they work, I figured.

When I went back on Monday however, the left insole bunched up crosswise around the middle of my left foot and it felt quite weird, especially since I was in the middle of a game. After losing that one I inspected my shoes and found out the treaded underside of them insoles couldn't stand the strains of badminton footwork, so they simply disintegrated. Some of the gray stuff stuck to my shoe's interior. I just did my best to refit the insole sans some of its slip-resisting undercoating and it worked all right afterwards.

Yonex might be a grand name for badminton products, but now I know from personal experience that their shoes aren't as good as they're touted to be. Adding to the aforementioned comfort issues, a couple of weeks after my purchase the exterior now shows signs of wear and tear.

I'm taking Ate Lyn's advice and buying Mizunos instead for my next pair of badminton shoes. I might have to fork out a little more but judging from other people's good experience, I'd say it's worth it.
===

Speaking of badminton I've managed to break my second pair of strings in 3 months. Both were blue Yonex BG66s. I know this type isn't noteworthy for its durability, but I never expected it to dismantle itself simply from wearing itself out on the edge of my racket.

I got light blue Yonex BG65 instead---a durable string (or so it's touted to be). Already I can tell the smash sound is better than what I got from the praised-for-smash-sound BG66. Hmmm...
===

Ercx told me about a badminton tourney the De La Salle Zobel Alumni Association were planning to hold. Leveling was set on the 7th, at South Smash in Alabang.

Now I know I'm not that good (my shot placement and defense needs plenty of practice) but I'm interested in this tourney they're planning. I just want to test how good I am against fellow Zobel alumni. I'm pretty much looking forward to it.
===

The heat is almost unbearable here. That's pretty much the indicator that summer's here already. I'd kill to be able to lie in a bucket of iced water the whole day.

The gallon jug I bring with me on badminton days doesn't seem to be enough to quench my thirst, too. Just 3 hours after I enter Villamor on a typical Monday or Friday, the water's all gone.

Phew...
===

Lately I've been on a gaming spree. After not touching my PlayStation for anything other than Gran Turismo, I suddenly splurged on all these games I decided to play.

I got Tenchu 2, Parasite Eve 2, the original Rockman (a rip-off, actually, but it's dirt cheap so it's okay I guess), Ridge Racer Type 4 and Gundam Battle Assault 2. So far they've satisfied my gaming itch, especially Parasite Eve 2 which was damn hard.

This afternoon Bong and I even tried Need For Speed Underground and Gran Turismo 4: Prologue (i.e. demo version) on the PlayStation 2.

GT4's pretty much spot-on. The steering's still a LOT slower than the original, but now the game forces me to drive more smoothly than I did before and the use of weight shifting is excellent. They even got really tight and tricky tracks for rally mode too. Just a shame there aren't any pace notes to help navigation, unlike the other rally games.

NFS Underground is pretty much the best US-made effort for a driving/racing game. In terms of depth and breadth it's pretty much got the lot (circuit and street racing, sprints, drag races and even a cool drift contest). Graphics are amazing too. I say it gets 8/10 to the desirability of any GT game...which is high praise coming from a GT1 stalwart like me. I personally loved the drift contests.
===

Had to say goodbye to Cher for a while this Saturday. She's now in her hometown in Leyte devoting herself full-time to the campaign trail. We had lots of fun while we were on our final YM session though. We exchanged postal addresses and promised each other we'd send snail mail every now and then.

I'm gonna miss my kindred spirit and great friend. I really hope she does well come the May polls.