about the talking fish

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Writer. Wheelman. Occasional DIY mechanic. Walking collection of hang-ups. Hopeless romantic. Old-school. Analog soul in a digital world. I am all of these things and more.

Friday, June 04, 2004

Lately I've turned into quite the chocolate junkie.

After years of steering myself away from frequent consumption of the brown stuff, the past two months have seen me craving more and more of it. Recent faves have been classic Toblerone, Kit Kat Chunky (basically a huge-ass Kit Kat finger), Snickers, Nestle Crunch and whatever else I happen to see in the fridge. I steer away from Cadbury's and diabetes-inducingly sweet candy bars though.

Even more unusually, I seem to understand now why girls love the stuff. No, I don't feel anywhere like I'm head over heels in love whenever I dig my teeth into a Kit Kat Chunky, but I do feel a little more sober and relaxed.

I feel like I need more chocolate...hmmm...

There's always one thing I never fully understood about myself after all these years, and that concerns my seemingly endless obsession with self-pity.

I can never somehow give myself enough credit for simply being human and imperfect. It's as if I've fooled myself into thinking I should be very hard on myself, for things that aren't even my fault. It's been the cause of a lot of my pains and heartbreaks, and I should note it's gotten in the way of some relationships as well. Wherever I go, I carry the brunt of all my regrets and I can never seem to let go of them.

I wonder how I should stop feeling sorry for being me. Where do I start? How do I give myself a healthy dose of self-appreciation and banish this masochistic ghost forever?

I'm open to suggestions.

1 comment:

JM Ibanez said...

(Finally... and I thought I had forgetten the password to my Blogger account)

Just saying hello to you...

IIRC, the body does have a distinct neuro-chemical response to chocolate. "Love? Equivalent to eating mass quantities of chocolate", as Pacino's Devil would have said.

-- the other JM (http://www.livejournal.com/~jmibanez/)