about the talking fish

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Writer. Wheelman. Occasional DIY mechanic. Walking collection of hang-ups. Hopeless romantic. Old-school. Analog soul in a digital world. I am all of these things and more.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

A productive week off?

I've been avoiding blogging for a while, I guess. The magic that used to fill me whenever I updated this piece of online estate seems to have gone. Hmmm.

Basically I took the last week of August off. In that span of time, a lot has happened.

The very first day, my six-year-old computer decided to die. Specifically, the motherboard went kaput and refused to accept RAM DIMMs any more. That 1.7GHz Pentium 4 rig lasted us a good six years. No matter, the next day we went to Market! Market! and had ourselves built a ridiculously quick 2.4GHz Core 2 Quad rig, with 2GB of Kingston RAM running at 800MHz and a 320GB Seagate hard disk. Advised against the pratfalls of Windows Vista, I bought a legit CD of Windows XP---my contribution to the cost of the PhP23,500 system.

Tempting as it is to bump up the cost more, my head just spun from the jargon, terminology and insane prices of graphics cards nowadays. Apparently, if I wanted to play anything decent released in the past year, I'd have to cough up PhP9,000 for Nvidia's or ATI's ridiculously named GPUs and onboard memory.

PJ is now a doting father to Chelsea Nikole, so he's out for the week too. Ronald, my colleague at the church choir, got me as godfather to his own three-month-old bundle of joy, Loraine Jane. After a hiatus of a few months, I showed up at my grandma's in Caloocan with the rest of my mom's family to dispense of my godfatherly duties to my own godchild Mikaila.

Mav and I got along better than I expected, considering I had dealt her a lot of pain. I realize she's my friend after all, and one I don't really want to lose. I guess she's also done likewise. We're cool.

Finally I had the chance to visit Cel in Greenhills and ask her out to what my UK-based employers call "afternoon tea." She's doing well, and we chatted away over Mexican food over her sister's wedding plans, the details of her new job come November (at her uncle's Yokohama Tires distributorship---how timely, I was looking for new rubber for my Jazz), and a little something about work (or what she used to call work).

Was my week off a productive one? I'm not sure, despite Mav's retorts to the contrary. If the week off was supposed to be a restful one, it was way, way off the mark. Even so, I'm still sad it's about to end.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Abused status jargon garbage

You kids think brandishing the status of "it's complicated" on Friendster is cool. You whippersnappers don't even know the meaning of the word.

What the hell do you know about relationships and complications when you're not even fifteen years old yet?

Complicated, my ass.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Separation anxiety

I can't do this any more.

It's unfair to you, unfair to myself, and complicates things. I cannot return the affection you want to give me, so this has to stop.

All I can be is your friend. I can no longer answer to the terms of endearment we've had over the past few months. I can no longer keep you company over the phone till the wee hours of the night. I can no longer be unfair to you.

Apologies. Please read my lips; this is something I have to do. Trust me, it's better this way.

Sunday, August 17, 2008


I am ridiculously tired.

Teambuilding last Saturday had me swimming laps and almost drowning in a wave pool in San Mateo, Rizal.

I hit the gym on two consecutive mornings...in preparation for a gut-busting Wednesday lunch at Gaudi.

Thursday, I joined taebo again after what feels like years. Imagine all the muscles that ached on my person the day after.

Just the other day, it was the 2008 Accenture All-Men Badminton Cup. Paolo Cruz and I were not able to defend our title.

I am tired.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

The dramachine wears down

Lately I've gone through my life with less of the old drama I used to pepper this blog (and its readers) with. That's not to say that there hasn't been any drama at all; it's just that I've opted not to let it affect me as it did any more.

Life goes on. I guess I could say I've started becoming wiser. I drive at a sedate pace 80% of the time, no longer doggedly chasing assholes on the road like the cop I'm not. I'm more amenable to letting things slide past me, knowing that it usually isn't worth the effort of being angry. Sure, my gut has grown, but I've learned to live with it anyway without worrying unnecessarily.

A few doors have opened for me---I'm not sure whether they were expected or otherwise, but they have opened. Whether or not I jump headlong into them would have been the subject of intense brooding and moping around had I been younger. Nowadays though, I am content to wait. Perhaps it is because of the weight of my previous, foolish choices; or the avoidance of undue pressure and worrying; or the fear of potential anguish on the part of others.

All I know for sure is I am grateful I am in my current position at the moment. Moments like these are all too fleeting and meant to be savored to the full. I can feel the uncertainty and insecurity ebbing from the road of my life, like standing water draining away.

Haven't had a meme in a while

Got this from Ria.

The rules are simple.
At the end of the post, the player tags 6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blog and leaves a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

1. What was I doing 10 years ago?
I was in my second year of high school. Things were finally beginning to look up for me in the nouveau-riche fishbowl everyone calls De La Salle Zobel.

2. What are the 5 things on my to-do list today?
Work, sleep well, take a nap, get to the office before 7:00 am, and...work :)

3. Snacks I enjoy:
A whole orange, the slightly sour kind. I also love large marshmallows and chocolates.

4. Place where I live:

5. Things I’d do if I were a billionaire:

I'd do a lot of things. I'd finally kit out my Jazz the way I want it, buy a place of my own, take a trip to a quiet Japanese town...and save the half billion left, if I'm lucky. Hehehe.

I'm tagging Joy, Mav, Kathy, Beia, Cara and Ryan.