about the talking fish

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Writer. Wheelman. Occasional DIY mechanic. Walking collection of hang-ups. Hopeless romantic. Old-school. Analog soul in a digital world. I am all of these things and more.

Sunday, December 31, 2006

2006 in memoriam

Dear 2006,
Before I drop you into your waiting casket and ditch, let me get the bad news out of the way first: You were a horrible year for driving. I don’t remember having gotten into this many fender-benders in my six years on the road. Truly terrible.

The personalities on the Internet you sent me were none better either. 95% of them had minds closed tighter than rotten pistachioes. To add insult to injury, you even had to take away two of my friends—arguably prematurely.

Fortunately that’s all the bad news I can remember about you. You gave me a renewed interest in novels and music; doused my pointless desire for the chunks of plastic I call “model kits;” returned the best fuel economy I’ve ever had; helped me lose weight and keep fit; finally broke my frustrations as a performer; and landed me a decent job with great co-workers. I have much to thank you for.

You were a kick-ass year. Could you please tell your son 2007 I’m looking forward to a much better time with him?

Raiding Blogthings.com on a whim

DISCLAIMER: Believe the following at your own risk.

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.
You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.
You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.
You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.


Your Birthdate: February 11

You may watch someone from afar before you finally decide to make your move.
It takes a long time for you to develop an attraction to someone.
Generally, you prefer to pick who you love. Anyone who tries to rush you is in for some heartache.

Number of True Loves You'll Have: 1

Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 1

You are most compatible with people born on the 2nd, 11th, 20th, and 29th of the month.


You Are A Fun Friend

You're the one who keeps your group laughing
And you've always got an idea for something fun to do
The party's not complete without you
And you wouldn't miss it for the world


Your Body Image is 12% Unhealthy, 88% Healthy

You have a great body image. You know that no one looks perfect, and you're happy the way you are.
Also, you don't judge other people on their looks... and it helps them feel better about their own bodies!


You are 73% Aquarius


You Are 60% Grown Up, 40% Kid

You've grown up a good bit, but you still have a way to go before you're emotionally mature.
You have the skills to control your emotions, you just have to use them.

Your Weight is Ideal

Your BMI is 24.6 - a healthy BMI falls between 18.5 and 25

Congratulations, you are the perfect weight for your height.
Even though you may not be entirely happy with your weight, you are healthy.
So gain or lose a few pounds if you want, but don't go too crazy!

Don't agree? Blame the government standards we based this test on!

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Rizal Day may have become Saddam Hussein Day...

For the benefit of the non-Filipino folks reading this blog, December 30 is a national holiday in the Philippines due to the celebration of the heroism of Dr. Jose Rizal, national hero. Rizal is a noted pacifist, opposing armed struggle against the Spaniards and exhausting all diplomatic means before conceding to radical measures. Why December 30? This was the day when he was executed by firing squad in 1896.

It is with mild irony, therefore, that a murderous dictator such as Iraq's Saddam Hussein may be given the same national holiday as Rizal's, by dint of his execution by hanging at 6:05 a.m. Baghdad time 210 years later.

I don't see it happening, as will most people, but it makes for irony all the same.

Friday, December 29, 2006

Withdrawal symptoms

2006 for me will be characterized as the year when I practically shunned participating in online forum websites. Some of them are just too slow and heavy on my humble connection to access. I quit one forum (Honda Club of the Philippines) because I felt it was the correct thing to do. Others I've pretty much outgrown, such as Otakuboard, a.k.a. Otaku Fridge. And then, there are others whose "culture" have simply become too much for me to stand.

Once upon a time I thought the Internet was a fantastic place for meeting new people. I've learned my lesson. For someone as reclusive and unsocial as I am, I would rather meet new people offline at this point in time.

And for those fora that drove me away...it's your loss, not mine. I will take my contributions with me and I expressly forbid you to re-post them.



I've been a moderator as well as a participant in fora, and from my experience there are a few lessons to be learned here, people.

  • Praise in public, discipline in private. This is the stuff of countless leadership books.
  • Never belittle your members; you never know what contribution they can give...and take away.
  • Exercise consistency in enforcing the forum rules. Admins and mods should not single out certain people repeatedly, nor should they be continual or intermittent in enforcement.
  • Study why people come into and leave from your forum.
  • RELAX. It's a place where people are supposed to meet, not where you practice how a power-tripping gestapo policeman should act.
  • Monday, December 25, 2006

    Merry Christmas, 2006


    I refuse to go into the usual meaningless babble being passed around in cards and text messages, since I believe the value of Christmas has been degraded by our greed and fixation on material things. For my Christmas message, I look to a suitable source: Bukas Palad's CD "Pasko Na!"


    Ako'y nagtataka sa Paskong kay lamig
    Doon pa nadama init ng pag-ibig
    Sa sanggol at ina puso'y huwag isara
    At sa bawat isa, puso mo'y buksan na

    Pasko na, Pasko na
    Tayo'y magkaisa
    Magsama sa saya ng sanggol at ina!


    Ako'y nagagalak sa sabsabang payak
    Doon pa nadama dangal ng Haring Anak
    Sa sanggol at ina puso'y huwag isara
    At sa bawat isa puso mo'y buksan na

    Pasko na, Pasko na
    Tayo'y magkaisa
    Magsama sa saya ng sanggol at ina!

    - Bukas Palad, "Pasko Na!" (1987/1999)


    I greet all those who read this blog a Merry Christmas.

    Sunday, December 24, 2006

    24 people I'd like to thank

  • Chris Gabriel and Eca Balagso, for teaching me the value of my life and the lives of those I consider my friends. May God rest your souls.

  • The Cybergate First Friday Mass Choir, especially to Agnes Gorrieza and Tony Derramas Jr., for providing me a constructive release when work gets to my nerves and teaching me to become a better singer.

  • The Philippine Air Force Badminton Club regulars, for keeping me engaged in my four months of bumhood.

  • Chris Guanche of MAHQ.net, for publishing my mecha reviews.

  • The Sun Valley Music Ministry, for the company and the nights out.

  • Edith Cao-Agosto, SVMM choirmaster, for being patient with teaching me the songs and recording the notes I need to practice.

  • Aileen Apolo, for relating with me so well. Let's go to Ruins again sometime!

  • Accenture, for hiring me and assigning me to the best project and team, ever. I doubt I have a long future in IT, but so far so good.

  • Barclays' Virtual Channels team, for the memories, camaraderie, and making my transition from college to work practically seamless. I do NOT want to get rolled-off.

  • Paolo Jaucian, for being my resident "big brother" at Barclays since day one.

  • Dionie Lim, for making me realize how people with a similar temperament as I do don't have to be doomed to it. I'm sorry for the times I was overly critical of you.

  • Mark Molina, for making me sing my heart out in front of my coworkers and popping my stage fright cherry. And for all the jamming sessions. Music is our medicine.

  • My college blockmates, LC24, for making all efforts to stay together despite conflicting schedules and diaspora.

  • Paolo Cruz and Gracey Dacumos, for being my patient badminton doubles partners and putting up with me.

  • Flo Hernando, for teaching me SP and all the support.

  • Mel Mejia, for her own way of rebuking me when I do things out of process. And for the free food.

  • Anton Guidotti Jr., for the crazy stories, the laughs, the approachability, the tips, the nitpicking/criticism of my work, and the lovely CDs.

  • The Itchyworms, for a stellar CD. "Noon Time Show" rules.

  • Urbandub, for consistently breaking the mold and delivering rock music that defies the local/foreign divide.

  • Haruki Murakami, for the novels that are equal parts fulfilling, disappointing, erotic, enlightening and interesting.

  • Bill Dare. You, sir, make British comedy proud.

  • My dad, for the new watch and having enough trust in me to come home at the time I say so. Now how about a key for the front door?

  • My mom, for the new monitor (hurrah!) and all the sumptuous food you cook.

  • The Lord Jesus Christ, for every day I live, and every chance I have to try and make you proud.
  • Friday, December 22, 2006

    22 questions I'd like answers to this Christmas


    Why do most of the girls I find attractive just so inconveniently happen to be smokers?

    Is it really true that nice guys finish last?

    Am I really as immature as I am led to believe?

    Why do I have to suffer the nasty repercussions of developing a spine and asserting myself, when everyone else gets away with cheating and highway robbery?

    Why does it seem that people have largely forgotten the “Christ” in “Christmas?”

    Why is Gunpla and mecha modelmaking still attractive to me despite the ridiculous costs?

    Why on earth did it take me 22 years to realize my frustrations/dreams of being a performer? That was simply too long.

    What was the point of me attending seventh grade, other than delaying me by a year?

    What is it with bars that is so attractive to people of my generation? You go to these cramped, smoky, noisy places to hang out and get smashed, which makes you a easier target for kidnappers or thieves…not exactly a safe state to be in Metro Manila streets at 3 am.

    Am I really just a born misfit, a square peg trying in vain to fit in all manner of round holes?

    Why do we lie to kids, always telling them in fairy tales that there’s a “happily ever after” when we adults know damn well there isn’t?

    I’m supposed to be recovered from my flu from last month, so why am I still sweating bullets and feeling weak from time to time?

    Why can’t ex-lovers become good friends?

    Why can’t good friends become lovers?

    Given the Suzuki Swift has good looks, why did Suzuki give the local version a squishy suspension and an automatic gearbox?

    Is there really no such thing as a badly built car any more?

    Why is the Sony PlayStation 3 so fucking expensive? At current prices, you can buy three used Toyota 4A-GE engines for the price of one PS3…

    With Blogger’s Google-powered upgrade, does this mean their Blogger for Word add-on won’t work anymore?

    Why did we ever have to develop egos?

    When should I get married and have kids?

    Why am I a born insomniac?

    Why do you read my blog? What keeps you going back here? I’d really like to know what goes on in the heads of my handful of readers whenever they visit this place.

    Sunday, December 17, 2006

    Because I can't get enough of my college pals...


    ...We had a night out at Gerry's Grill Makati. Basically we missed each other silly, and Chris' recent passing had reminded us that we should be grabbing each and every opportunity to be together because it may well be our last.

    Photos are here, courtesy of my brand-new Multiply account. Enjoy!

    Saturday, December 16, 2006

    Christmas + Murphy's Law = December 15 2006

    Apparently everyone conspired to have their Christmas parties on December 15, 2006. It just so happened to conveniently coincide with a number of things—payday, Christmas, its nature as a Friday.

    Where the fuck is everyone going at this hour? I thought, the moment I came in at 9 a.m., wondering how on earth the cubicles could be empty when we were supposed to finish our shifts in time for the party later that night. Hell, the list of frustrations mentioned above included an almost irrational morning rush to the seventh floor of Cybergate just to claim gift checks, which tied up the already-challenged elevators for a good FOUR HOURS.

    Truth be told, December 15 was not a day to feel all Christmassy. It was one of those days you should bitch about because Murphy’s Law (“whatever can go wrong, will do so”) was in full effect.

    There were notable exceptions to the Law, though.

    After practicing for almost a week now, the Cybergate Choir successfully had its first caroling performance at one of the other Accenture projects at lunch time. It was well worth the effort that Tony, Agnes, Faye, Grace B., Jong, Gae, I and the others put in in terms of rehearsal. We could be a little more polished here and there, but overall it was a wonderful first effort and I’m proud of all of them. Next week we’ll be busy with more caroling performances, all for the benefit of the Albay typhoon/mudslide victims.

    The BDCN Christmas party wasn’t all too shabby either. Our team swept the awards for the presentation (no doubt thanks to Paolo Jaucian’s “Darna” effort), and everyone seemed to have a great time. I’m not as well-informed about the after-party though as I successfully confirmed that cramped, smoky bars are just not my thing.

    Sadly, Murphy’s Law reared its ugly head yet again. When I ended my evening by driving home at 11:30pm, Meralco Ave. and Ortigas Ave. were tied up, I suspect, with the scores of other people with cars who so conveniently had their Christmas parties at the same date, as I mentioned earlier. C5 was situation normal, crazy pedestrians and all, but the real surprise came when I merged from C5 to the SLEX. Good Lord, the traffic was as if it wasn’t midnight but 8pm—it was that bad.

    Murphy’s Law, indeed.

    Monday, December 04, 2006

    "I can't promise that"

    Just before turning in for the night, my friend Trish buzzed me on YM. It had been a while since we last spoke or met. She said she came from Chris’ wake, and from her tone I would say she took it pretty bad. She and Chris were from the same batch in high school and knew each other quite well.

    Her friend Vida texted her about what her friends knew of Chris’ accident. He had been driving along the Alabang overpass at 1:30 am and for some reason knocked one of the lampposts, ending up on the wrong side of the road. Not the type who would call home, his parents knew about it when they drove at the exact same road at 5:30 am going to Greenhills, bewildered that their car was being towed. The doctors operated on him to remove the clot from his head, but he never regained consciousness.

    The infuriating thing about this is, some asshole had the gall to steal Chris’ belongings while he was dying. That’s just so wrong.

    Trish was feeling particularly morbid that night and I told her I wanted to see her again in the future, even when we were both fat and wrinkly. She said she couldn’t promise that, which is true I suppose.

    Death is a chilling concept, and personally I’m afraid of it. There’s no point running away from it, though, because we’re all doomed to die sooner or later. When it’s your time, it’s your time. Instead of being afraid of death, I feel I might as well embrace all the opportunities I have with my friends while we’re both here.

    I’ve lost three friends to death in the last three years. I don’t want to sit idly by and regret not having spent more time with the ones I can still get in touch with.

    Saturday, December 02, 2006

    In memoriam: Chris Gabriel, 1985-2006

    Last week I was unlucky enough to succumb to what seems like a fashionable disease these days: the common cold. Coupled with my hyperactive brain’s reluctance to go to sleep at night, the cold went into overdrive and became a full-blown flu. As such I had to take my first couple days of sick leave.

    I’m feeling a lot better now, but I know I’m not completely out of the woods yet. Although I’ll be able to work next week, I can still feel my head complaining a little. All this meant I had to miss out on the badminton tournament Paolo Cruz and I registered for.

    Still, this doesn’t compare to what a friend of mine had. Bianca informed me this morning that my high school and college friend Chris Gabriel died today from a car accident, which is pretty grave news.

    Chris was a wonderful, jolly fellow. He’s one of the hardest-working souls I’ve ever met. Even though he was always chasing deadlines in the time I was with him he never seemed flustered or pressured. He was always like that, ever since my days in Counterpoint back in high school. It’s really such a shame that he died so young. I’m not sure if he even got employed already.

    Rest in peace, Chris. You will be missed dearly, I am sure.

    Thursday, November 23, 2006

    At long last

    We finally have a new monitor! Hurrah!

    I was looking around for CRT monitors because I still wasn’t convinced that the ever-cheapening LCD variety would serve our home computer well. PC Magazine Philippines wrote in their “Monitors LCD vs. CRT” piece last year that LCD monitors don’t work very well outside their “native resolution,” or the actual count of the pixels of the display. That means games and video playback tend to suffer from “ghosting.” It doesn’t help that response times at 8-16ms aren’t as instantaneous as CRTs. Besides, the price is still rather high in my view. I could get a decent 15” CRT for PhP5,000.

    My parents thought differently though: since this is effectively an upgrade, we might as well trade up to the best we could afford. So they were all sold on the merits of LCD monitors, such as the low power consumption and the space savings.

    When I got home two days ago with the CD-Rs my dad wanted, he casually asked me “Have you seen the new monitor?” I was surprised.

    Sitting on the desk was a silver-bezel Samsung SyncMaster 940BW monitor: a 19” LCD beast of a monitor. The thing’s got an aspect ratio of 16:10, significantly wider than the 4:3 of usual monitors. But it was still an LCD and I had my doubts. This called for some testing.

    I booted up my games and played a few minutes of “Turn-A Gundam,” both at full screen and at various resolutions. Not bad! There was barely any shimmer or ghosting, and it wasn’t enough to be an annoyance. I found out from the promotional decal of the monitor that it sported a fast response time of 4ms from gray to gray. If anything, the Samsung is ridiculously bright.

    In my spare time I researched the Samsung 940BW online. My parents made a very good choice, it seems. It’s reportedly one of the best monitors around at this price range (PhP14,000). Although it’s not ideal for graphics work and Photoshop, it’ll cover home PC duties very well, or so the reviews say.

    What can I say...I’m actually pleased I was wrong.

    The monitor had an unexpected extra with it. My folks threw in a new keyboard, the A4Tech kL-5. This thing has no numeric keypad, which saves space, but seems to jam all the keys in a small footprint, which means the auxiliary keys I’ve learned to use on a full-size keyboard are in new places I’m not so familar with. It’s also a quiet unit which purportedly reduces RSI (repetitive strain injury), but I’ve never been a fan of shallow laptop keyboards, which this one feels like.

    Oh well. At least it matches the monitor.

    Friday, November 10, 2006

    Ate Edith's birthday

    Ate Edith had me and the SVMM people over at her place for her birthday. Let me rave about her spaghetti: despite being a sweet blend (the kind I usually don’t like), she put in two whole heads of garlic, Italian seasoning, mushrooms and red bell peppers for great effect. Very delicious.

    It’s been a while since the choir met like this and I was simply drinking up the noise and the laughter from my friends. One month more and I can safely say I’ve spent one year with SVMM. It hasn’t been without its down moments, and I do have questions about the commitment of some of my choir mates, but overall I’m glad I’m part of it.

    Another impending farewell

    My blog started five years ago with news of our old AE101 Corolla 1.6 being prepped for sale. Now it’s the City’s turn.

    There’s still a lot to be done before it can be sold, such as dent repair and repainting, which means a sale isn’t as imminent as it may seem. I’m still reluctant to let it go, though. It’s easily the most frugal vehicle in our stable (I’m still achieving a consistent 10-11+ km/L), the easiest to park and maneuver, the lightest and arguably the most enjoyable to drive.

    We’ll be hunting for another second-hand vehicle as a replacement. With my mom’s bias for Toyotas though, I’m afraid I’ll be saying goodbye to all of the things I liked about my car, as I’ve never really enjoyed driving her ZZE121 Corolla Altis, either because of its “driving on stilts” responses or its atrocious driving position.

    I’m still waiting for that Honda Jazz 1.5V to come my way. Whichever transmission, I already know from my test drives that I’ll appreciate it a lot.

    Too good to give away...

    I was in Alabang Town Center last weekend to shop for some Christmas presents. Why don’t I look for the shoes to gift my trainer with? I figured. While I had intended to get him a good pair, I’m not about to break my wallet on shoes—most especially shoes as gifts. So I kept a strict limit on budget.

    I passed through the typical stores: Nike, Adidas, The Athlete’s Foot. My general qualm was their merchandise was just too expensive, and not all of it was particularly fetching either. I did get my mom’s present at Nike though. As a final stop, I went into Olympic World.



    The shoes on display were a surprise. The moment I laid my eyes on Mizuno’s Incision futsal sneakers, I was instantly drawn. It looked like no other shoe I’ve seen: it was black on the outside edge, silver on the inner edge, and red at the heel. (I know the photo I posted doesn't match my description.) It’s a fusion of Nike’s Total 90 futsal/football shoe, with its shine, offset laces and extended tongue, and their expensive-but-suave Nike Free 7.0 Trainer, with its split-colored upper. Unlike the Trainer, the Incision cost about half of its PhP4,400, and you can have it with outdoor-use molded cleats for just PhP100 more.

    Right there and then I had second thoughts: it looks and costs too damn good to be given away. When I showed up in church wearing them the next day, Jajah couldn’t have enough of them. Aileen told me I should keep them.

    Besides, she said, in this day and age, giving away new shoes to a relative stranger can bring about negative implications about my sexuality, no matter how good the intentions. Now I don’t really know about this: I’ve kept the Mizuno Incisions for myself, but I still plan to buy the guy a pair of cheap-but-good sneakers as a present.

    I guess I was too carried away by the looks to fit the Mizunos properly. Looking back, the ones I got are a tad cramped at the toes; I should have opted for the 9.5 size. However, I’ve used them for a few badminton games, a taebo routine and jogging on a treadmill and they’re pretty good so far. Jogging with them was surprisingly comfortable. Mizuno’s reputation as an underrated but excellent athletic shoe is confirmed, and they can definitely add “stylish” to their CV now too with the Incision series.

    Friday, November 03, 2006

    Tales from the crypt

    All Saints’ Day started ominously enough with a column by Andre Palma on the Inquirer: Ultimately this day is one of remembering. While Palma chose to remember the cars he drove growing up, I chose to remember something else.

    I tagged along with my dad to Baliwag on our annual visit to the family grave. Of the five or six names there, the only tomb I’m familar with is of my grandfather’s, who died in 1992. I was all but nine years old then, and we weren’t exactly what you could call close. I hardly knew the guy. All I really knew was that he was a doctor and he was born in 1919.

    At my dad’s ancestral home in Baliwag, with the de Leon clan at the dining table, we were talking about my granddad for what seemed like the first time ever. Well, perhaps not, but it’s the first time I remember hearing anything more about him that I didn’t already know.

    It was a surprise learning that he never intended to become a doctor; he simply took the course because his parents wanted him to. What he really wanted to become was an engineer. That didn’t stop him from placing within the top ten of the board exams, though. It seems he didn’t practice medicine; the ancestral home has obvious traces of being a pharmacy once. Tita Vik said that once in a while, he’d observe structures and buildings and comment on how they could be made better. Whenever he did that, he was in a world of his own.

    A little segue here: My cousin Carlo is currently in his third year of high school in La Salle Greenhills, and he was asking me about college, entrance exams and my experiences at work. (Good lord, he’s already much taller than I am at 5’10”.) He says his forte for now is geometry, while chemistry is something he could be better at.

    When I asked him about what he was planning to take up in college, he didn’t pick any particular course—all he said was he wanted to extend his grasp of geometry, and a BS Math degree is out of the question. When I told him he might have a future as an engineer, his eyes lit up in agreement. After hearing my granddad’s story, he remarked the will to be an engineer might have been passed down to him.

    It was a day of remembering, all right. I’m very thankful for it.
    ===

    Normally, the North Luzon Expressway is transformed into a crawling parking lot on holidays like All Saints’ Day and the end of Holy Week. So you can imagine my surprise when on the way home, the traffic stayed in the Cagayan Valley road leading to the towns and cities of Baliwag, none of it leaking into the NLEX.

    Using the NLEX is expensive: even with a claimed lower cost per kilometer than the SLEX I’m all too familiar with, the stops up north are spaced much farther apart. However you can really see where the expense goes on the NLEX. The asphalt is smooth, the four lanes are wide enough for Americans to be comfortable with, and the traffic jam I was expecting to get stuck in was nowhere to be found along its length. With Pinoys being Pinoys, there are still idiots who don’t know what a passing lane is, but even so it’s surprisingly manageable. There’s even an electronic toll payment system called the EC-tag, mimicking the more popular E-pass of the SLEX.

    All I can say is...wow. If this is the price of progress, I’ll gladly pay. Just don’t count on me making frequent trips to Bulacan or Baguio all by my lonesome.
    ===

    In the halcyon days of high school I used to buy the US edition of PC Magazine—it was still relatively cheap at PhP150 or so. This was one of the expenses I had growing up that, in hindsight, was ultimately utterly pointless. I was too poor (or rather not willing) to spend on the latest processors, CD-ROM drives and graphics cards, although being the gullible geek I was at the time I was amazed just reading about them and what they could do.

    My old prof Gary Mariano had a point: He buys computer magazines only when he’s looking for upgrades to his computer or shopping for a new one. After that, he ignores them completely. The point is simple enough: Everything in a computer magazine is intended to make you feel like your system is obsolete.

    Over time, the peso weakened and the US version of PC Magazine became hideously expensive. So not long ago, PC Magazine Philippines was born, published by Hinge Inquirer Publications (also known, rather arrogantly, as “hip”). It sells for PhP100 and is considerably cheaper and thinner than the ad-packed US version. You already know about how I’m looking for a new monitor, so I decided to buy the recent issue.

    I wasn’t prepared for the irony that awaited me. Art Ilano’s column “Next Wave” had a piece called “An Embarrassment of Storage Space,” and it talked about the pointlessness of Blu-ray and HD-DVD, the much-ballyhooed optical media of the near future. “Blu-ray and HD-DVD are coming,” he says. “Now just what are we going to do with them?” Unlike the migration from CD-ROM to DVD, where DVD movies brought extra features, Ilano says there’s no compelling reason to move up to these new disks with huge capacities.

    I am amazed. Here’s a guy who writes for a magazine that is determined to make me part with my money in the endless pursuit of better computing and avoidance of obsolescence. But here he was, preaching a different gospel—a gospel of the pointlessness of some of the technology we are influenced to buy.

    Color me impressed.

    Tuesday, October 31, 2006

    The sweetest illusions are the ones everyone believes

    Ever since I started logging on to Friendster again I’ve been getting testimonials from my colleagues. Nothing new, yeah, but I’m flattered with what most of them have been saying.  The gist of it is, they say I’m optimistic and confident about myself.

    I’m flattered, primarily because I never thought of myself as confident and optimistic. I’m a pessimist by nature; I tend to assume the worst case scenario in most things and I panic easily. And by Jove, I am not a confident person. People who know me a long time know I’m actually very shy and introverted. It’s not always easy for me to be loose and outgoing, so most of the time I find it easier to act nonchalant and aloof to other people to hide my shyness.

    People say that sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what other people think you’ve got. They say that the trick is to make people think that you have sexiness long enough, and before you know it, the feedback comes to you and you yourself will think you’re sexy as well.

    It sounds like a nice idea, but when you cut it down to the essentials it’s actually the sweetest illusion. It’s the little lie that comes around and goes around...until it comes back to you and becomes truth.

    How much easier it would be if we didn’t have to trick others and ourselves like this. But then again this doesn’t seem so bad. Don’t get me wrong; I appreciate all these good comments and I guess this means I’ve changed a lot for the better since my regrettable childhood.

    If people think I’m confident and optimistic then so be it. They will see me as such until I mess up their perceptions.
    ===

    Still, one thing is for certain: I absolutely love to perform. I love to sing, dance and make other people happy and entertained. I am a frustrated performer no more.

    My current project at work is a tedious one and I was getting tired of it. So when I got an invitation over email about the choir rehearsal for the First Friday mass I jumped at the opportunity: I worked straight through lunch and finished my stuff so I could be out by 6pm.

    You know what? Before the rehearsal I didn’t feel alive today. My choir mates—all Accenture people, from different projects—are a swell bunch who know how to let loose and have fun. My day felt complete when we played around with our songs while rehearsing them, trying to make them better or more entertaining.

    Ever since the battle of the bands last summer I’ve been bugging my teammates on a few occasions about going back to Audiophile, reserving their studio for a couple hours to sing and play our tensions and frustrations away. So far it hasn’t happened yet, but I’m still hoping for a convenient chance.

    No music, no life.

    Santa's been kind to me lately

    Recently I’ve been getting the stuff on my Christmas list one by one.

    A couple of weeks ago, my dad got ahead of me and bought a Sony external DVD writer. Well, it’s actually an internal drive hooked up to an external chassis meant to house a 5.25” hard disk, but for all intents and purposes it’s an external DVD writer. It’s proving a welcome addition to our computing at home. We can finally burn our own CDs and watch all those stubborn DVDs that don’t want to work on our standalone DVD player.

    Around the same time I bought some computer goodies myself. After asking around and looking everywhere for a PC gamepad, I was happy to realize I only had to climb up one more floor on Festival Mall to get it. It’s a nice blue Logitech Precision Gamepad, shaped in the style of the classic PlayStation gamepad, and surprisingly cheap relative to their feature-packed and ridiculously expensive mice. Hey, given all this I might as well go buy a reputable brand if it’s not going to cost me an arm and a leg.

    My Panasonic headphones were constantly giving my ears pain due to the hanging design, so I splurged on a nice pair of TDK neckphones instead. They’re not the DJ-style headphones I was hankering for, but they’re a nice substitute. They didn’t cost me an arm and a leg either.

    I got both these goodies from Octagon. They really do live up to the moniker of being the computer superstore, simply by dint of carrying the only assortment of PC gamepads I know. Next up on my list is a new monitor (it’s about goddamn time), and I’ll have to save a little harder for one.

    Sadly, there’s no news on the Jazz VTEC I wanted. Aheheheh. You can’t have them all I guess.
    ===

    The same day I bought my first set of anime DVDs in what seems like years. I went all-out this time, buying the complete set of “After War Gundam X,” “Mobile Suit Gundam 0080: War in the Pocket,” a sadly malfunctioning copy of “Mobile Suit Gundam F91” and “Leatherman.”

    “Leatherman” was the only regrettable purchase. Really, I’ve seen better hentai.

    “War in the Pocket” is definitively the un-Gundam. There is very little emphasis on the Earth Federation and Principality of Zeon; instead we see how the war affects innocent civilians, particularly the children who think war is a big cool game. It’s a short 6-episode series, but it shames many of the long-winded Gundam TV series because of the poignant theme and brilliant execution.

    Finally, “Gundam X” is not the black sheep of the franchise simply because of being cut by 10 episodes. If anything, it’s night-and-day-and-most-of-the-following-evening better than the popular but disappointingly brainless “Gundam SEED DESTINY.” There are no loose ends in the plot, the premise of the post-apocalyptic story is interesting, the action almost never stops, and everything else just contributes to a solid anime series. That it strongly roots itself with many concepts and parallels from the Universal Century saga is icing on a very fulfilling cake.
    ===

    Color me jaded but I think I’ve finally outgrown Gunpla.

    There are a few model kits that still tickle my buying fancy, such as the just-released transforming 1/100 Saviour Gundam, the old MG Gundam GP01 “Zephyranthes,” the MG RX-78-2 Gundam “One Year War” version, the MG Nemo and the MG God Gundam. Overall though, I’m not as ardent a collector as I once was. I now see them for what they are: they’re essentially expensive toys that break too easily and lose their posability over time, especially because I haven’t gotten around to painting any of them.

    There are some gems in the lineup though. My last kit, the MG Rick Dias, is a masterpiece of engineering and stability. The MG Wing Gundam ver.Ka I bought for my birthday last year is also one of the best models I have, surprisingly stable and forgiving for a transforming robot. Finally, there’s nothing more that can be said of the MG Zaku II F2, the best kit of the classic Zeon grunt mecha.

    New MGs are generally disappointing though. I am not a fan of the new ball-jointed fingers on the hands because they aren’t any good at holding anything by themselves. The greater concentration of ABS used means that when something breaks, it’s broken for good—no more repairs via traditional plastic cement.

    Besides, Bandai isn’t probably too keen on making some of my favorite mecha designs into kits because they’re from a forgotten era (read as “unprofitable”). If Bandai ever decides to make an awesome 1/100 kit of the RMSN-008 Bertigo from “Gundam X” I’ll be the first in line.

    Saturday, October 14, 2006

    Just some stuff I'd do for now if I had the money...

    On Thursdays I’m usually at my office building by 7am due to color-coding. As my work starts at 9am, I burn the time by hitting the gym.

    My tae-bo instructor came in when I was on the treadmill this week. I didn’t recognize him at first because of the fisherman’s hat, but waved him hello at second glance. We were casual acquaintances; I don’t know him that well outside of the weekly workout. Just as I was finishing with the treadmill I saw him walk outside with a bottle of “rugby” contact cement and his shoes. Apparently he was trying to mend something on them, probably the soles.

    That’s when it hit me. Why don’t I give him a new pair of shoes as a gift this Christmas? I would have wasted the money otherwise, probably on a model kit that’s worth 7-14 hours of manual labor. In my typical idealist fashion, I thought maybe this was the start of my giving a gift to someone I hardly know every year. Who knows?

    After dressing up for work, I wanted to ask him about his shoe size, but he was busy attending to someone else. Oh well. Maybe next time.
    ===

    Frankly I’m convinced my eyes are telling me I need a new monitor for my computer. I’ve tried swapping our old and not-so-old monitors around and both have problems.

    Both exhibit color “bloom” from what are supposed to be clearly delineated objects. Both also have annoying color shifts. While doing my stuff on them I will suddenly see everything tinged a shade of pink (forgivable), yellow (too bright and hard on the eyes), blue and deep red (unacceptable), and I try (usually in vain) to smack the monitor on its top to get it back to proper color.

    While I’m at it I might as well up the size to 15” or 17” if money permits, and throw in a decent AGP graphics card.

    If money permits.

    Sigh. I never have enough.
    ===

    Two weeks after the event, the mess that typhoon “Milenyo” left on our front yard is gone. The branches and leaves strewn across the church parking lot and streets have now been relocated to the sides or swept away.

    I wish I could say it was the same situation everywhere.

    You need not look further than Edsa to see that it wasn’t. Yesterday morning traffic was a slow crawl from Magallanes interchange all the way to Buendia intersection because of a crane that ate up all but 3 lanes. The crane in question was a government one dispatched to get rid of the potentially hazardous billboards along this major road.

    Cleanup isn’t going to be done for a while. We’ll have to put up with this inanity for now.

    Friday, October 13, 2006

    Friday the 13th...means jack shit to me

    Friday the 13th. It’s been a while since my last entry.

    My costly mistake from two weeks ago has been addressed. I guess I was ignorant about how setting off my debt with cash rather than my insurance would leave me a few thousand bucks poorer. The whole mistake eroded some of my confidence in my parking skills, which I thought were close to perfect. Oh well. Crash and learn, as someone quoted in the Philippine STAR said.

    It was also an expensive way of meeting new people...in this case the people in question were ones I’d rather avoid. Goodness, they were practically nagging me for the cash and reminding me of how hassled they were by the dents I gave them at every opportunity. Don’t they realize that I have other obligations to keep and that I will pay them when possible? Despite the guilt trip they were leading me on to, I had the decency of stopping short of telling them that they were my hassle. I am so glad that that’s over with.

    At least none of my boo-boos behind the wheel have matched the damage of a white City I saw parked at work yesterday. All my incidents were simple fender-benders; this white Honda’s right front corner was totally, grotesquely smashed in. It’s a wonder the suspension’s still aligned enough to be driven.
    ===

    It didn’t occur to me to start buying books until after I started working. In the span ot two months I’d bought myself two Haruki Murakami novels, “Norwegian Wood” and “Dance Dance Dance.”

    “Norwegian Wood” is a great read. It’s not as mind-boggling as Murakami’s other stuff, it’s just a straightforward story in 1960s Japan and all the better for it. Bought just this afternoon, “Dance Dance Dance” seems like a continuation of another work, “A Wild Sheep Chase,” which left my head scratching. I’ll see how it goes as I move along.

    Being the mecha freak that I am, I’ve discovered the Super Robot Wars games too. They’re fun to play, but are taxing on time and mind because of all the micro-management you have to do. There’s something rather cool about seeing Mazinger Z, Combattler V, Voltes V and all the UC Gundams working together.

    I think I’m beginning to outgrow my plastic mecha model kits though. I’m paying serious dough for 7-14 hours of manual labor. I’m starting to have a “been there done that” complex with them, seeing how I’m usually frustrated with their fragility after half a year or so. The expense of this hobby is also making itself felt on my wallet—I’d just paid off a huge debt and adding expenses isn’t going to help me any.
    ===

    When I got home today I had a surprise waiting for me on my mess of a desk. It was a Timex watch from my dad. He had scribbled a note: “Punctuality has its reward. Keep it up.”

    At first I wondered how on earth he knew of my attendance record at work. It turned out it was my punctuality in getting home on or before the time I told them.

    Ah well. Most of my watches are broken or too old. I’m long past the time when I was complaining about having too many watches, so this one’s a welcome addition that came at just the right time.
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