about the talking fish

My photo
Writer. Wheelman. Occasional DIY mechanic. Walking collection of hang-ups. Hopeless romantic. Old-school. Analog soul in a digital world. I am all of these things and more.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

The perennially late reaction engine

No, that's not something from Macross. I'm talking about myself.

Lately I seem to have become a reactionary hair-trigger. It's not as if it's anything new. I guess I've struggled with this my whole life. This past week I've failed putting a throttle on my reactions, the end result being a huge mess that's gotten me in trouble with my leads.

They've expressed their disappointment with me. It's a shame I have such a tendency to snap at people because my skills are more than adequate, they told me. Why don't you realize your reactions have an effect on the people around you?

I can't go on like this. The world is becoming less and less forgiving of my actions. I feel like I'm always playing catch-up and learning the old lessons in a ball game everybody else has played and finished at least once. Not everyone understands that I'm basically a late bloomer. How long am I going to be a late bloomer? How long will I go through the motions of learning things I should have known years ago because everybody else does?

This just bums me out. The pathetic thing about this is I can't turn to anyone for help.

1 comment:

Dynee said...

Que paso?

Speaking from an extremely hot-headed family, where various members, including myself have taken great pains to control it - I feel for you JM.

I just had to figure it out on my own that 1) I needed help; 2) find a process to curtail the outbursts. My siblings have yet to find out as well how to curtail it.

It's unfortunate that my client does not let us use IM in the office. I'm here for you though.