The wonderful dream

I had a wonderful dream this morning. I don’t get enough of those, and strangely I got it at a time when I had difficulty sleeping.

In it, my biggest college crush was with me. We weren’t romantically involved or anything. We were just on some journey together and it ended a short way from her fictional house. We were basically as amicable as we were on that one and only time we met in an ORIENT3 class, but even so, it felt wonderful. It was great, just seeing her.

It’s funny that we were in the same college for five years yet we only got to meet, really meet, just once. It reminds me of how I met my biggest high school crush only in my final year in Zobel, and we weren’t really all that amicable.
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That was one of my few regrets in college: not getting to meet you earlier. You were a genuinely interesting person, really. It just so happened you were so damn beautiful, too, and for a while there I couldn’t look beyond physical beauty. For a while, too, I had this thing about trying to project that I didn’t find you all that cute...which was all bullshit, really.

How I wish you and I were able to talk, more often. Having you as my friend would have been perfectly fine with me.

These days as I look in my yearbook, I look at the directory and see your address and contact details. It’s a familiar enough place in Alabang; after all I used to study there. Recently I get the fanciful impulse of visiting you, but what for? I guess it’s to make up for the times I wanted you and I to talk. I can’t force that on you though; after all that’s said and done I’m still basically a stranger.

If by some twist of fate we meet again in the future, I’ll make sure I make the most of the time I have with you. Partly to demystify you, partly to get to know you better.
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Perhaps I’ve actually grown up.