about the talking fish

My photo
Writer. Wheelman. Occasional DIY mechanic. Walking collection of hang-ups. Hopeless romantic. Old-school. Analog soul in a digital world. I am all of these things and more.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

"Good listener"

I wonder what people truly mean when they say I am a good listener.

I listen to their affairs, however mundane: what happened with their boss, who slapped who at which party, who beat who in which race event, who dissed who at which traffic jam at which streets at what time of day.

Often I am relegated to listening because I cannot get a word in. The people I meet can get so self-absorbed; I happen to be their most convenient outlet. I, the blank slate. I, the one perennially unsure of his ability to sustain the interest of others by talking. I, who am also terminally self-absorbed.

I am also relegated to listening because most of the time it is the proper thing to do, even if I honestly don’t give a shit about what some people have to tell me. Yes, let it all out. If it makes you happy, my not-listening can’t really be that bad, as long as you let it out and vent. Perhaps I should be an actor and get roles as a stoic (and be a spectacular failure in the process).

Ultimately however, I am relegated to listening because most of the time I am just too interested in the other person. Although this is beneficial it’s also a personal fault, I guess. I am a prime target for mischief-makers.

Is my being a good listener necessarily a good thing? Or is it some form of weakness? I will never know. All of you whom I will meet will never know, either.

At least I have recognized that I can write, and write well. At the very least, this humble little blog is the place where, for a change, I can get listened to.

If you understand me, that is.

I challenge you. All of you 400 or so people who visit this blog each month. I never started this blog to be popular; I never was. I started this blog so that I may speak the words I cannot speak, the words the people around me will not allow me to speak due to their self-absorption.

I challenge all of you to listen to me.

No comments: