about the talking fish

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Writer. Wheelman. Occasional DIY mechanic. Walking collection of hang-ups. Hopeless romantic. Old-school. Analog soul in a digital world. I am all of these things and more.

Monday, January 04, 2010

Beginning 2010 in a drunken stupor

People who know me well know that I don't drink much, especially the hard stuff. I'm more of a red wine kind of guy.

So you can imagine what happened to me when Uncle Butch sent in 750mL of Patron's finest "Silver" agave tequila for the consumption of me, my dad, Uncle Gerry, Uncle Joey and my cousin-in-law Miguel on Bianca's birthday.

In hindsight, I took it pretty well, I guess. I paced myself as best as I could. I can definitely say that tequila is not something to drink the same way one would drink wine or whiskey. You don't smell it, you don't check its "legs" (as they say in whiskey tasting), you don't let the flavor linger in your mouth. None of that gubbins. You take the shot glass and chug it down as quickly as you can, then hurriedly reach for a lemon or lime slice and lick some salt. You don't drink tequila to enjoy its taste - you drink it because you want to get drunk as quickly as you can!

And drunk did I get. I am perpetually afraid of reaching that humiliating point where I can no longer control myself, nor can I remember the events that transpired in any part of my life when I should really be fully conscious. All that happened was that I nursed a heavy cold weight in my head for a pretty long while, and my loud-by-default voice got even louder. Heck, I could even park Aibo in reverse back into our garage from the church parking lot across the street - inch-perfect.

At least that's all that happened while the party was still happening at my house. When all the guests left, I finally took to the sanctuary of my bed...and felt dizzy and ill. Fortunately for me it lasted only as long as the first piss I took in the toilet, which was about an hour later.

At least I now know my limit in the safest possible environs because I got drunk in my house, not somewhere I should be driving back home from.

Happy new year. *hic*


meow said...

OMG.. Patron.. I used to have 3 shots at night to cure my insomia.. and all my 'drunken' memories is courtesy of this bad boy. LOL You should try it with ponkans and not lemon.. it tastes a lot better!

Dynee said...

Tequila is my only hard liquor favorite. I am like you, a wine drinker. Patron Silver - one of my favorites.