My song of the moment: Sugarfree's "Telepono."

Natatandaan mo ba, kagabi?
Apat na oras tayong nagbabad
Sa telepono
Oh, inabutan na tayo ng umaga noon

Ngunit bakit ngayon, malamig ka bigla?
Magdamag nasa tabi mo
Wala man lang hello, hello, hello...
Oh, hello?
Naririnig mo pa ba ako?
Kung wala na tayo sa telepono
At nandito na tayo sa tunay na mundo
Oh-whoa...

Oh, hello?
Di na kita naiintindihan, malabo
Na ba ang linya sa ating dal'wa?
Hello...gising ka pa kaya?
Oh, hello...nahihilo na ako sa iyo...

Ngayong gabi, pag nagri-ring
Ang telepono
Ikaw ang naiisip ko
Tumawag ka, tumawag ka
Darling please, tumawag ka naman dahil
Kailangan lamang marinig ang boses mo
Oh, ngayong gabi managinip,
Managinip muli tayo sa sarili nating mundo...

Oh, hello?
Di na kita naiintindihan, malabo
Na ba ang linya sa ating dal'wa?
Hello...gising ka pa kaya?
Oh, hello...nahihilo na ako sa iyo...
===

Been thinking about what to give Denise for her birthday, which is coming up pretty soon.

Flowers might be a little too much. I'm sick of giving away CDs. Giving away bags is old hat, I suppose (I already gave her one for her debut two years ago), and fragrances are largely off my budget.

I remember I recently joked about giving her a kiss. Much as I'd want to give her that, she'd probably chide me again for being too cheap. Heheheheh. My friend apparently has a feisty sense of humor.

Hmmm...I got three days to think about that.
===

The term is ending and once again I am struck at how quickly time actually flies in college. It seems like only yesterday when my classmates met Thai and Wujin, foreign students from Vietnam and China respectively. Now there are only 4 or so meetings left in our Market-I class...and I still barely know either of them. Man.
===

Such speed of day-to-day existence leaves me reminiscing about the "good old days" when I was still a college freshman. It really does feel like all those experiences were from some bygone era, free from the pressures of major subjects and thesis proposals. We used to have all the time in the world to hang out, cut classes, have/attend debuts and go to wherever we wanted. Needless to say that doesn't apply nowadays.

Still, it's nice how I've grown along with most of my original blockmates. I'm pretty proud that I belonged to LC24. Even though we do our own things, we still tend to gravitate toward each other.

Lately I've been treasuring the moments I spend with them nowadays. I've been having lunch with a little group composed of Denise, Ercx, Catcat and Kate, and it seems everytime we're together, all we talk about is where we're eating next (as our group seems to be permanently undecided). Silly, I know, but endearing quirks like those are the things I'll probably remember when I'm out of college.

Speaking of being out of college, I still have two more years to go. Damn. Nicole, on the other hand, has been "rubbing it in my face" that she has only two more terms to go. Man.

I bet those two years won't feel like two years at all. They'd be more like five or something.

Okay, okay, I'm rambling. :P
===

Bakit tuwing ikaw ay aking nakikita
Lumulundag ang aking puso?
Kapag ang ang tinig mo nama'y naririnig
Tahimik ang buong daigdig

Bawat gabi, mag-isa akong nag-iisip
Sana ay kapiling ka
Balak ko sana'y sabihin ko na
Ang aking nadarama

Kailan pa ito magagawa?
Kailan pagbibigyan ang tadhana?
Bukas ba? O sa makalawa?
Kung hindi ngayon, kailan pa?

Minsan tayo'y naiwang
Walang ibang kasama
Ngunit nang ikaw ay kaharap ko na
Hindi ko masabing mahal kita...

Kailan pa ito magagawa?
Kailan pagbibigyan ang tadhana?
Bukas ba? O sa makalawa?
Kung hindi ngayon, kailan pa?

- Parokya ni Edgar, "Kailan Pa"
===

I don't know about you guys, but I certainly don't feel like Christmas is approaching.

I suppose there are a lot of reasons why. First of all there's this ridiculous weather we have. It's already November and it's still so fucking hot! You'd think there'd at least be some windiness around this time, but no. Makes me wonder whether the world is polluted enough to kill us with greenhouse effect.

Next I suppose it's a function of my age. Twenty is hardly worth calling "old," but when you've outgrown Santa Claus, there isn't really a reason to look forward to Christmas. Instead one looks forward to gaining at least 5 pounds from all the eating, and losing at least PhP5,000 from all the gift-spending. It's an inverse relationship, no? Yes, friends, Christmas is a horribly materialistic feast.

Third...hmmm...maybe it's just because my mom and sis haven't gotten around to decorating the house yet.
===

I still remember the day I found our Christmas tree burning from the back side. Seriously scary shit, it was. That led to our ban on Christmas lights.

I remember how helpless I was in dealing with it, mostly because I figured out what I should do in a panic. I mean, I can't just douse water on it, as it's an electrical fire and it'll just get worse. In the end what I did was pretty pathetic but at least sensible given the nature of the fire: I blew on it with my breath.

That made my dad angry...but he didn't kill the fire either.

Looking back I realize I should've just cut the power to the tree.
===

Picked up an issue of Friday's "Young Star" section after missing it for what seems to be the longest time. Lots of new people have their columns in nowadays. One of them's model/TV host Marc Nelson ("Question Marc").

Someone wrote in about falling in love with her stepcousin, although he treats her as nothing more than his 'insan. Marc basically wrote at length about "welcome to the real world of unrequited love." Here's the start of the last paragraph:

"True, it might take some time, but if he really is such a great guy, then I'm sure he'd make a fantastic friend. This is where you have the advantage over his other admirers. To him, you're family, and therefore already a permanent part of his life. From the sounds of it you guys you guys already share a certain closeness as pinsan, so it's just a matter of developing that into further friendship when you're ready for it. In the long run, this is actually a lot more durable than if you were to become his girlfriend...So if you and he were an item now, odds are that you'd split up at one stage or another and then where would you be? Isn't it better to cultivate a friendship that would last forever?"

Hmmm...just reverse the gender roles and I wonder: is this piece of advice written for me?
===

I realize this is the biggest reason why Denise decided to keep me as a friend. At the risk of sounding egoistic, I think she treasures me enough not to want to lose me in her life.

I realize I feel the same way to her too. I never want her away from my life. She and I are each other's security blankets, I guess---we can be ourselves with each other. She and I want to be friends even until we're old and gray, and frankly this is the first time I've encountered this.

Still, I feel I'm so in love with her. I want to do so many things with her. I want her to be as happy as I can make her. I want to teach her so many things only love can teach us. I want to be in her arms after hard days.

Sigh...yes, I should welcome myself to the real world of unrequited love.
===

All the words I write simply fail to convey my emotions of the moment. I'm happy, confused, in love, slightly sad. Love is such a hard emotion to grapple with when everything else tells you not to go for it. When that happens, it hurts somewhere inside me.

Am I still hopelessly idealistic? Maybe I haven't grown up at all.
===

By all means, I ought to hang out in StupidLove.com more often.

Only problem is, whenever I visit the place seems dead. Whenever I'm off it, the place comes alive. :-\