I've been away for a while, and while I have the time to blog about what's happening to me, I'd rather not.

All I can say is, I'm depressed and frustrated. The worse part is, I can't tell anyone else of the feelings that gnaw at my heart, the same feelings that have kept me in some sort of trance. I'm paralyzed because of the constant fear in my head that I might make things worse.

I'm losing sleep, losing concentration, losing money and losing my sanity.

Worst of all, I'm so plain fucking lonely.
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No one reads this blog anyway. Screw it.

For those of you who do, well...prove me wrong.
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Dammit, I wanna laugh and smile again. At least I'd be doing my mom a favor.
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Optimistic line from the loneliest anime I've ever seen:

"As long as we are alive, something good will happen!"
-- Shuzo Matsutani, Now and Then, Here and There / Ima Soko ni Iru Boku