I've had more midnight conversations with Pam ever since she told me she loved me. Turns out I wasn't looking for help on how to organize my lovelife with my crushes...the person I loved was talking to me all this time after all.

I'm not sure whether or not I can still defend what I posted before, about Pam and I not being anything more than friends. Truth be told, I think she's wonderful. She's the first person I've found with whom I can be so open, no inhibitions or fears whatsoever. With me, that counts a lot. I've been deluding myself into falling in love with women I knew I liked from the outset. Because I know I like them, though, that means I've been trying to show all the positive sides of me and not my faults. I can't live with that.

We're both afraid of what we've realized though. Pam is afraid that she's getting into a relationship in a time when she should be numbed by relationships of any kind, and yet here I am confusing her. As for my own fears, I'm not afraid of losing myself in her, but I'm afraid that my "one chance" with her had to be spent this way, in potentially my first relationship. I remember all that talk about not taking a first relationship seriously, but now that I'm here it's rather hard to follow my head.

We agreed that if ever we didn't delve into a relationship, we'd still be with each other. That's enough solace for me, actually. I'm just grateful to Pam for showing me what reciprocated love feels like...because I've had enough of giving my love to stone statues.
---

You know I love you. I just want to be with you. You're the only person I haven't felt a twinge of cynicism, cheesiness and doubt saying "I love you" to. I want to walk with you through the streets of Hong Kong. I want to hug you and kiss you on Victoria Peak. But if you don't share my optimism, I just want you to know I'll always be your friend.
---

Came across some stuff that might mean Pam and I are meant for each other.



Want To Know Which Element You Are?

You are Spirit!

Truly a rare breed, you're calm and thoughtful
but still know how to live life. Things are taken slowly but your large list of experiences (yours as well
as others) can help you adapt to new situations with little trouble or people being hurt. Unfortunately,
you're the most likely to ignore yourself over other people. Emotions rule you, and though you are quick
to kindness, your anger could scare the fiercest of creatures. Learn to relax a bit and live your own life.


Best Match: Fire, they'll pull you out of your shell and teach you plenty of things in life.

Worst Match: Water, they're too intent on their emotions to notice yours.





Streea wasted a bunch of time making this test.




She took this test and got Fire. Was never one to take these seriously, but I guess this is an exception.