I am lonely again. I stood on the precipice of a great chance of finally finding love, after a long time. In the end, I had to throw it all away for doing what I thought was the best thing.
If it was so wise to let go then why does it hurt?
Yet life goes on. I refuse to get more exhausted than I already am. I cannot and will not be mired in this for longer than I have to be. I've learned fairly quickly; I can do it again.
I have to, for my own sake.
===
The past six months have been dangerous times, in hindsight. I've been playing with toys I shouldn't even be touching.
When she found out, Denise was genuinely concerned about me and my well-being. She was scared for me. She disapproved of my habit without being patronizing. Had it come from anyone else I would have brushed it clean off.
Now I owe it up to her to keep from committing "bad faith." It has to end, and I need to be seen to. I guess you knew I deserve much better than what I've been giving myself, and for some reason I just forgot my self-worth.
If I see you often enough, perhaps you can keep me from bad faith. I can laugh heartily at you and me and forget about looking for love so doggedly, so vainly. I missed you a lot and I realize just how valuable our friendship is and how naturally it comes between us. It's worth making a habit out of.
Thanks so much, Den. I'll see you again soon.
If it was so wise to let go then why does it hurt?
Yet life goes on. I refuse to get more exhausted than I already am. I cannot and will not be mired in this for longer than I have to be. I've learned fairly quickly; I can do it again.
I have to, for my own sake.
===
The past six months have been dangerous times, in hindsight. I've been playing with toys I shouldn't even be touching.
When she found out, Denise was genuinely concerned about me and my well-being. She was scared for me. She disapproved of my habit without being patronizing. Had it come from anyone else I would have brushed it clean off.
Now I owe it up to her to keep from committing "bad faith." It has to end, and I need to be seen to. I guess you knew I deserve much better than what I've been giving myself, and for some reason I just forgot my self-worth.
If I see you often enough, perhaps you can keep me from bad faith. I can laugh heartily at you and me and forget about looking for love so doggedly, so vainly. I missed you a lot and I realize just how valuable our friendship is and how naturally it comes between us. It's worth making a habit out of.
Thanks so much, Den. I'll see you again soon.
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