After giving it some thought I came to a realization with regard to my behavior in the past couple of weeks. I guess I've grown jaded.

My zest for life isn't as strong as it used to be. I'm beginning to think and feel that things are developing in a predictable (and therefore boring) order. Day in and day out I seem to be doing the same things without much of a change in the routine.

I know I'm always trying to look for something, but it seems I've always lost sight of what it is. I can't tell whether what I'm looking for is a new friend, a new lover, a new hobby (God forbid!) or a new confidante, or God-knows-what. I know there's stability in consulting and keeping old friends but there are instances where I grow tired of their faces and voices just because they're so damn familiar. I'm looking for whatever it is that can get the spark back into my heart. Right now it seems a relationship would do just the thing, but knowing myself I've been wrong about these things time and time again.

It seems like my only driving force nowadays is music. Ever since that trip to the US I've been listening to more and more jazz and Latin music. Might as well try to save for Anton Ramos' new CD, The Chillout Project Acid Jazz.