Two weeks into my vacation in the United States and I've had a relative blast so far.

Earlier than expected was the trip to San Francisco, where we met Auntie Nelly, Auntie Doris, Josie and Dorothy, Uncles Erick and Virgil, Nicky, Christian, David, Stephanie and all our very extended family at 1450 Cayuga Avenue. They took us to some very memorable sights: the Niebaum-Coppola vineyard at Napa Valley, scenic seaside Sausalito and the Golden Gate Bridge, to name just a few. (Thanks to all of you guys!) On the way there we were also fortunate enough to get to Santa Barbara and Solvang, Fisherman's Wharf, Monterey Bay and Carmel-by-the-Sea.

Going there we took what would be just about my favorite road ever: California's Highway 1. It's a typical American freeway until you get to Big Sur and where the road just transforms itself into a tight and twisty mountain pass which I'm sorry to say I was not able to drive through. And man is it scenic! It's around 20 miles of road full of mountains, cliffs and the sea. The twistiest local route, Baguio's Kennon Road, simply pales in comparison. I swear, when I get to California once again and I get to rent (or own!) something decent to drive, that road's going to be one of my priority destinations.
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This past month I've enjoyed the company of my Uncle Butch most of all. Apart from being our host for the vacation month, he's been working overtime to make sure the three of us enjoy our vacation to the fullest. It simply goes without saying that he's a very funny guy, but I'm also amazed at how well he seems to handle all his responsibilities and still keep a smiling face at day's end. He knows just when to be serious and when to let loose and have a little fun.

Regular readers of this blog know that Tita Vik's my favorite aunt...well, Uncle Butch has to be my favorite uncle hands down.
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Speaking of letting loose and having fun, Uncle Butch took me to a different kind of fun two nights ago.

[inhibition off]

May 1 was pretty much my first ever visit to a strip club, somewhere in Beverly Hills. Being the newbie, I was told that having my gentlemen's club cherry popped here than in the Philippines would be better because the strippers here literally take it all off, not like the supposed half-assed shit back home.

When we did get there...well, I suppose I was underwhelmed. I'm no stranger to seeing women in the buff, but although the dance routines were new, ultimately they're a waste of money when you sit back and really think about it. You get to see girls of various races and sizes, dancing around poles and stripping their clothes to the benefit of the guy who gives them the fattest wad of dollars. The girls will tease you and offer to do a private lap dance or two, but they're just doing their thing---a carefully orchestrated and disguised art of making men part with their money. Big deal. It's not like they're necessarily going to bed with any customers or anything.

Uncle Butch himself says if I made a habit out of them, they really are just a waste of money. It's just his custom to take his male visitors out to these "female anatomy classes"---when they're legal, of course. I suppose there's wisdom in that. I don't see myself frequenting strip clubs myself in the near future either...they're just not worth doing so.

[inhibition on]
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I should really stop being a willing contributor to strangers who want the work of my brains published for their benefit. In the past 10 or so contributions I've done I've received credit for just two of them so far. Age hasn't changed a thing.

Three months ago I willingly donated my Intramuros article and photos to what seemed to be a legit editor of some Filipino section of a San Francisco daily newspaper. I was promised credit for the article and a free copy of the issue it gets published in.

Two days before I left San Francisco, I tried looking for that newspaper. Apparently someone was lying to me. There was no person working with that name, and no Filipino section. Ohhhh-kay.

I was mildly disappointed, but it's not like I've been fooled like this before. Sigh.

I'm posting from my cousin's house in South Pasadena, CA where we'll be fighting off the effects of jet lag before we act out on our planned itinerary...or at least what we can follow of it.

The flight was pretty smooth, I'd say. It was a boring 12 hours as most people were asleep, but I'm pretty sure most of us airline passengers would take calm and boring over uncomfortably exciting any day. The US customs and immigration officers that took care of us were some of the nicest people, although I did notice that they in general tend to be overweight. Hmmm. Probably one of thr fringe benefits of confiscating undeclared food items?

Jet lag's still working on me though. The other night I was asleep for all of 3 hours, and I was up at a ridiculous 4 am waiting for the sunrise. I got a similar situation now: it's 1:42 am and I'm awake after having been asleep on and off for 6 hours. Looks like I'll be stupidly waiting for another sunrise at this rate. Apparently I have the knack for awakening when everyone else is going to bed.

It's just great seeing Czasha and JB again. We were out on lunch at California Pizza Kitchen in Old Town and I saw a more mature Czasha while we were talking about stuff in general. She's really gotten the elder sister act down pat, I'd say. JB meanwhile is the same gamer guy he's been, although he's also grown over the past few years---probably more so than I'd like, but hey, that's his life. His front teeth had been punched in by some juvenile delinquent who was jealous about him seeing a former girlfriend...talk about violent huh?

That's it for now, I guess. I'll be posting as much as I can.

Finally the big day has come.

Our flight's leaving at around 9 pm tonight. And here I was thinking that it'd be tomorrow, all this time. Perhaps I'm a wee bit underwhelmed at the prospect of actually going to North America's West Coast for vacation.

This probably means I'll be off my blog for a month. I'm not sure when I can be able to go online as the itinerary seems to call for a different destination every week. I'll try, but I won't count on it. I have no idea what the density of Internet cafes is in Vancouver, South Pasadena or San Francisco.
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Honestly I have my little fears of flying, mostly brought about due to the documentaries I've watched on NGC or Discovery about how things on a plane can go wrong. When I board the plane later, I guess it's all up to the Man Above for 16-odd hours.

I also have not-so-unfounded fears of gaining weight when I'm there. Goodness, Americans have the most fattening foods---a fact I realized when I came back from a similar trip 8 years ago. Right now I'm just a bit overweight for my frame; I'm at 168 lbs. That's going to be a point of reference for me later. I do hope I get to maintain it.

It's funny how some things don't seem to change, even after years and years.

Mela and Mark had organized a little quasi-reunion of us Honor Section students from high school Friday night at Dencio's Sucat. For such an informal gathering, a lot of us were in attendance---there were easily more than 25 of us on the two tables. And man, was it noisy in there. I would imagine the atmosphere to be a bit more restrained as many of the erstwhile Honors Section went to Ateneo or UP for schooling, and those campuses aren't really far from each other. Was I proven dead wrong or what?

The same people were hanging out with the same posses and cliques, just like in high school. Apart from a few faces most of us looked exactly the same, apart from some weight gained or lost. Some couples that began in high school were even still intact---quite admirable, I should say. Our two Denises were already newly employed, too.

Denden was in her first week working as a financial analyst in a bank (I just forgot which one), and it seems she was enjoying herself despite confiding that most of the stuff she encounters in the office flies by over her head. Knowing her, I'm pretty sure she'll work it out in a month. She did say that she was planning to stay for just a year, then move on to another job.

Patrick had become valedictorian---I suppose that really shouldn't come as a surprise, given people were badgering him to forget studies and work on girls this time around. Most of us had already graduated already, save for the DLSU people and others who began their medicine courses in other colleges.

I did notice some...er, changes, more in me than in them. I noticed that for once I'd become more relaxed with just being myself, without feeling I had to get everyone's attention somehow. I was content with talking to just a small coterie of friends. Also noticed that some old crushes back then didn't hold a candle to the bevy of beauties from DLSU. I think these are proof that I lived in a very small world back in high school---one that revolved around the school way too much.

I'm glad I got to see these old friends again. Still, I have to say I prefer college life more. I had made better and more lasting friendships in my four years in DLSU than I did in thirteen years of DLSZ.

By the way Marmar mentioned that all of us Honors Section students had become relics: the program had been canceled, along with many of the lessons we used to study.
===

The next morning I was in Alabang playing badminton with Benjie, Grace, Francis and Marmar.

I have to say I was impressed with Benjie and Francis in particular. They were moving really well, performing consistently good drop shots and well-aimed smashes. Grace and Marmar were competent players as well. With a little more training we'd all be better at the sport. I was even inviting them to the DLSZ Alumni Association badminton tourneys, which I once joined---just for fun.

After 7 months of not playing my body aches and hurts all over, but that's my fault.
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Mela was particularly excited about Friday's reunion.

While chatting on YM we were mulling over what would happen in the near future. She told me she was a bit scared that people had very high expectations of her, as if it had been predetermined that if it's from Mela it should be really good.

I was in turn scared about what would happen when we graduated from college. We've taken for granted that there would be something more or less sure to look forward to in the past, such as grade school expecting to get into high school, or high school on to college. After college however, the chaos factor plays a greater role simply because we're literally on our own, left to our own devices and free to do what we please---of course, within the limits of time and finances. That just means that there's more uncertainty thrown in---and that's unsettling for me. That comes with having to adjust to a new grind, different from what we've been used to for the past 17 or so years.

Perhaps there was a reason why you organized this reunion, I told her. Maybe it's because you wanted a place you could go back to if and when things go wrong. In hindsight the problem of that analogy would be that this "place" is nothing more than a loose collection of people, all with their own agenda to follow and lives to live, so going back there also has a chaos factor thrown in too.

At the reunion Aimee seemed to read my mind in advance and had an ingenious answer: an e-group for all of us. So much for that chaos factor. Heheheh.
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Just when I had vowed to save money and not spend on anything major until I had financed my total debt to AVON, along comes a MAHQ.net review of the Master Grade Zetaplus A1/C1 model kit that had me wondering where to get one. (And here I was thinking that I'd restrict myself to an MG Nu Gundam for Christmas, or an HG 1/100 Gundam Astray Red Frame for kicks.) I was pleased to hear that the transformation mechanisms were more solid this time, thanks to tighter manufacturing tolerances for the parts and screws provided for the legs' interior assemblies. I wonder how long I'd take to build it though.

Looking for an MG Zeta Gundam had become hard enough---what more for the Zetaplus? I will ask around and find one.
===

April 22 can't come too soon. Los Angeles, here I come.

Despite the finals not going too well, I'm just glad the term is over. I'm not gunning for Dean's List status any more; I'll be perfectly happy if I can pass my subjects. Besides I already have two 3.0s from MARKNAL and MARKPRO that will surely pull up my term GPA to a decent level.
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With summer comes another traditional problem: boredom. And it's at its worst level this year. My PlayStation's CD-ROM lens seems busted so I'm able to play just two games, and that gets boring pretty quickly. I'm also short of cash and I'm no longer willing to spend what remains in my savings. People haven't been paying me their dues on time, and whatever payment does come in, I have to reserve to pay for my outstanding debts at AVON. With gas prices at an all-time high I'm also discouraged to drive anywhere, and my car's aircon system needs work.

Oh well. April 22 can't come soon enough.
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What's happening on the 22nd? I'll be in the US and Canada for a month. I've had to put off joining a Pops Orchestra summer outing in Bataan on the 16th for that one. That means meeting up with my cousins Czasha and JB again. Cool. Am particularly interested in how JB's grown up. The last time I saw him around 3 years ago, he was a pre-teen...and at this point in time pre-teens grow quite quickly.

A part of our trip entails going to Seattle and Vancouver too---a couple of places I've never been to. We're probably taking a bus going there. Shucks, I was hoping it would be a real road trip. Oh well.
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After course card distribution on Friday, Mela planned a little get-together for all of us ex-Honor Section people back in high school.

While I said I'd come, I'm not sure how this kind of thing would turn out. I'll be lying if I said I missed all of them, because quite frankly I'm one of those people who enjoyed college more than high school---simply because I made better friends in DLSU than I did in DLSZ. There's also the matter of meeting a few old flames once again, some that probably have to be reduced to ashes at this point in my life.

Well, we'll see.
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Suddenly every site I see on the Web is offering some sort of blog facility. Yahoo 360, Friendster, LiveJournal...what's the deal with all of these copycats?

I dunno. Despite being the simple no-frills site that it is, I'm still hooked on the original Blogger.
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Decided to return to OB after a long hiatus. After all the fights and rumors and petty squabbles and power-grabbing moves I still have feelings for the friends I'd made there.

As for those old enemies of mine who are still there...let's just say I'm haunting them. I'm just glad OB returned to its quaint old hangout, 80% devoid of Ragnarok Online mania.

Summer is definitely here...and it's not very welcome. It's turned scaldingly hot all of a sudden. Driving with my windows cracked open and my aircon off, in the interest of saving fuel, just isn't a good idea anymore.

This excruciating heat coupled with some ill-adjusted home aircon turned up to freezing left me with the massive head cold and flu I have now. It's perfectly bad timing too because this is finals week and I'm sick.

There's so much stuff left to do...all I want to do is get this term over with and recuperate.
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I'm pretty low on cash too. People owe me a lot of money and they haven't been paying on time. Sigh.

Gotta get around to buying my long-planned present for my dad's birthday...
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An old crush of mine, whom I parted with in not-so-pleasant fashion, apparently returned to our old roost recently---which I no longer frequent. Apparently she's getting married soon and has her own kid. I'm told she's mellowed down as well.

Mellowed down, my ass. She probably still has that hatchet with my name on it.

Let's see how it feels having your own glamor working against you, bitch.

Met and interviewed Marge tonight for our MARKPRO final project: a product marketing plan. She happened to be another of Denise's many friends and I found her really nice, warm and hospitable. Even invited me to a little game of badminton one Saturday with friends.
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People averse to tape recorders while having interviews. This was new.

I found it rather odd, at the very least. Personally I felt it was great for getting the interviewee at ease, without having to contend with a writer scribbling away and not devoting his/her full attention to the subject at hand.

Apparently some people just aren't comfortable with hearing their voices on tape and how differently they sound...but hey, I was like that too. Took me a while to get used to listening to my voice through the air instead of rattling through my bones.

Whatever suits the interviewee, I say...

After all our endless fretting over a successful major concert last Saturday night, it was time for Pops to finally let loose and relax over the spoils of the schoolyear. That would officially happen on the summer outing sometime in April, but Pops being Pops it was never too early to get started---which we did last Friday at Karen's 19th birthday party.

Thanks to that event, I got acquainted with two more Gundam fans in Pops, sampled some of the best tofu and mushrooms I've ever tasted, sang my heart out on old-school videoke with Pops alumni Oliver and Eric, and generally had a great time which unfortunately had to end too soon.

Lala informed me that the outing was tentatively scheduled around April 16-19 at Lake Caliraya. I hope the date doesn't change so I can catch up before leaving for Los Angeles on the 22nd. Can't wait.

At least I have a lot to look forward to this summer, after all the hassle of this term ends.
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Oddly, I didn't enjoy the HCP EB the next day all that much. I felt I would have rather just completed buying the things I need to make my dad's birthday present. Before going to Karen's I dropped by Special Toy Center in Festival Mall to buy an Academy pin vise...which was surprisingly expensive. It's a solid little thing made of steel, so it's probably a long term investment for serious modellers, although I couldn't fit the 1.0mm drill bit into the 1.0-1.5mm socket for some reason.

That evening I saw "Chicken Rice War," a Singaporean movie made in 2000. Having had some 'exposure' to Singaporean culture from former Autocar ASEAN hacks David Ting, Simon Hulber, Kwee Hon Jin and co. (where on earth are these guys now?!), I was delighted to see Singlish and 'talking cock' in action on the small screen. The movie's a simple one, obviously patterned on Romeo and Juliet, but it's endearing and cute enough to keep one entertained and laughing.

It's seriously cool, in its quirky kind of way.
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My car needs TLC and fast. I feel guilty for leaving it to 'rot' with worn tie-rod and rack ends, a faulty air-conditioner compressor and all these dents and scratches on the Sapphire Blue bodywork. I'm itching to get a cheap, decent amplifier and front separates too for the audio system. Then again I'm not privy to enough personal money to get these kinks repaired, and people know how I frown on asking money from my parents or anyone else. It doesn't help that my sales haven't been doing too good either.

What's a cash-strapped college dude to do? I guess I'll have to wait till I get employed.

The major concert may be over and done (quite successfully I might say), but there are still so many things that need my attention within the next two weeks. Most of them are academic.

Quite frankly I've lost interest in finishing anything, at least for today. Lately it's seemed I've run out of steam and vigor for studying. I guess the culture of apathy and general laziness of my Marketing major classes has gotten to me.

To make a long story short, I generally don't feel all that great nowadays. I'm always pissed off, burnt out and fretting about so many things, and it gets to the point where I become confused as to what I should do. I need a break.
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You are a star, beautiful and bright
Shining magically on the jet black stage
You fill people's hearts with a myriad emotions
Glee, sadness, laughter and love
I have watched you all these years
How I longed to grasp your light
Be part of it and share it to a new age
Years have gone, and I am no longer fit
Now I am a part of you, yet I am also not
I toil and persevere to give you your chance
Yet I still just admire you from afar
Wondering how much have things changed
I still lie in the dark, watching
Bittersweet dreams never realized

This song is what my mind's been made of lately.

Wala na akong makita sa iyong mga mata
Dati rati'y isang tingin mo lang alam ko na
Bakit ngayon ika'y nababalot sa kulay ng hatinggabi
Nagtatanong, nangangarap na ika'y magisnang muli
Kung may bagyo o kung tag-araw
Sa iyong damdamin

Sana ay makilala kang muli, tulad ng dati
Halika at lumapit kang muli, tulad ng dati

Wala na akong maramdaman sa iyong mga kamay
Dati rati'y isang hawak ko lang, alam ko na
Alam ko na
Kung may bagyo o kung tag-araw sa iyong damdamin

Sana ay makilala kang muli, tulad ng dati
Halika at lumapit kang muli, tulad ng dati...

--- The Dawn, "Tulad ng Dati"

I wonder if they have a new album out? Been ages since I bought any new music CDs.
===

I'd like to invite all of you guys to watch the DLSU Pops Orchestra's major concert, "Spotlight on the Red Carpet" featuring award-winning songs from major genres. It'll be at the AFP Theater, Camp Aguinaldo, Quezon City, tomorrow night at 7pm. Tickets are priced at PhP180.

I promise you will not be disappointed. :D
===

All our efforts in this final week seem to have amounted to nothing. Despite that Rachel was still her energetic, take-charge self...until our final committee meeting last Wednesday.

This was the first time I remember seeing her breaking down in tears, apparently something she seldom did. I felt that young as she was (she's almost three years younger than I am), Rachel had one of the most admirably strong personalities I've ever seen. She isn't one to buckle under pressure until it was totally, utterly hopeless. The dreadful thing is, all of us---myself included---contributed to that hopelessness. No matter how hard we tried, we couldn't secure anything.

Seeing her cry made all my fluttering misery feel infinitesimally small, yet the same message just pervaded my soul. I let her down.

She did not cry for long however. Within 5 minutes she was back, prodding us to think up ways of earning any extra money at the risk of turning the event into a fairground.

Rachel Quinto, simply because of your impeccable strength of character, you are my role model. I pray I can get anywhere near as patient and as tough as you are.

I'm not an especially happy man right now.

All my efforts and I managed to raise nil for Pops' upcoming major concert. All my efforts and I still had to trade bumper paint with an overzealous passing truck's spare tire. All my efforts at lifting weights and trying to eat right but I'm heavier than I've ever been. All my efforts at trying to earn my own money and yet it always feels as if I never have enough because new expenses on my part crop up like bad fungi. All my efforts at trying to be happy and yet I've become so burnt out and maniacal that I've actually turned to the tarmac as the object of my anger.

What the hell do I have to do to turn things around?!

I've been nominated recently for the Cultural Arts Office (CAO) Awards as "most promising managing member of a performing group" (namely Pops). This coming Monday I'm supposed to come in business attire at the CAO for my interview at 2 pm.

While I am very honored about the nomination, I feel that I have to forfeit my slot. Past accomplishments are all well and good, and they will be the locus of the panel's questions. However with my relative ineptitude in raising any sponsorships for the major concert, I feel as if joining the race for this award will be hypocritical.

I feel I don't deserve this award, yet I know that racking up credentials for a good resume is important.
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Getting angry with yourself isn't the best feeling in the world.

I'm trying Mozilla Firefox for the first time. Damn it's sweet!

Some pages like HCP look a bit funny (all text is center-aligned for some reason) but the greater ease of use offsets that. I feel I'll have to unlearn some stuff I got used to with IE6 though.
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I'll be going to the Manila City Jail tomorrow to interact with political prisoners as part of my RELSFOR advocacy work for TFDP.

Honestly, despite the honorable aim of the organization I can't help but feel a little scared about tomorrow. Then again I've been scared about a few other things lately.
===

First and foremost would be the looming major concert for Pops. While I did succeed in securing Yehey! as our online media sponsor, I haven't been as successful in getting other cash sponsors. That wouldn't be so bad in itself, but no one else among the Marketing team has had any success either so we're feeling the pressure mounting.

I have to wonder how much of this is our fault and how much is due to force majeure. Speaking for my assigned industry (automotive), only Toyota has had any progress with releasing new models that it might want to promote, like the Hilux pickup and Innova AUV/wagon. Our sponsor last year, Honda, seems to have gone defensive from their enthusiastic media blitz with the Jazz. They're probably opting to wait out this year, empty their stocks and get ready for the release of the 2006 model year Civic. I can't find Mitsubishi's contact info, which is sad because they did release their Grandis MPV and the Montero Sport SUV.

Wednesday is judgment day...
===

Second would be my grades. I haven't been doing as well with my major subjects. While I might be blamed for all these other orgs and hobbies I chose to get into, I have serious reservations about how my classmates in Marketing are behaving.

Simply put I don't like the way my Marketing major classes feel like a circus 8 times out of 10. No one listens to any reports. No one takes the lessons seriously. It's always a din of noise that fights with the professors for the attention of the students---and the pandemonium always wins. The only things my younger classmates seem to care about are the upcoming Bangkok international exposure trip and finding ways to keep their grades good without massaging their brains.

Something has to be wrong when the Marketing Management majors score poorly in the same International Marketing midterm exam that was aced by Business Management students two years our junior.
===

Lastly I'm getting very confused with what I have to do with my life...thanks to RELSFOR.

We have these readings from "The Universe Story" and "The Great Work" as our weekly assignment. Basically they're all about how mankind should be the steward of nature and of all creation, not its master. Unfortunately we've been acting as if we're the only ones that matter in this world---everything that's non-human is of value to us only when we can use it.

Our major institutions---the government, the corporation, the university and the religious congregations---are all fostering and perpetuating this destructive lifestyle of humans living only for themselves and not for others, as well as all which is non-human. (Strange to learn from a Religion class that religion is indeed one of the ills of the world, and my professor's a real priest.) We're consuming resources at an alarming rate. We're plundering the lands and seas which should remain with the fragile ecosystems of plants and animals that ultimately maintain the world's order and keep it a viable place to live in.

In a nutshell, our lavish profit-driven lifestyle, which gives all rights to humans and none to the non-human, is destroying the Earth. We'll have to give up some of our frivolous unnecessary desires if only to ensure that we have an Earth to reside in for the long term.

Yet looking at all my subjects this term, it seems like RELSFOR is running contrary to the lessons being taught by BUCOTAX (taxation, part of the legal system), my Marketing majors (business and profit), and FINAMA2 (financial management, which is ditto).

I'm suddenly questioning the value of all the things I'm learning. Of the four institutions, it is supposedly the university that is the only agent which can turn this destructive tide of human consumption around, and help people realize that we are not conquerors of the universe and the Earth---rather, we are part of it.

Perhaps that teaching career people suggested is my life's calling...?

I was supposed to go to the Task Force Detainees of the Philippines (TFDP) office today to drop in on the introductory orientation of what we're supposed to do for the advocacy work portion of our RELSFOR class. Taking the MRT to Cubao was easy enough, but when I tried looking for landmarks on Aurora Blvd. things started to get messy.

I spent a good hour walking around in circles in the 9:00am summer heat, trying to find my bearings. It was then that I realized that I was on the wrong side of Aurora Blvd. I had to cross EDSA.

My sense of direction apparently fouls up at times. If it hadn't been for my classmate KG I would have probably remained lost for another hour.
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Happy birthday chocos I got from the harana. Bianca already ate the H when I took this.

Happy birthday to me! :D
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I've got so much to write about but very little time to do so. Shucks. So far though it's been a great week in general. I hope it stays that way.
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I got an unexpected surprise this afternoon. I was confused with Anna ordering me to stand by the tree at the corner of the Central Plaza. As it turns out that was because someone had a harana for me as a birthday present---courtesy of the DLSU Pops Orchestra.

Man, I was surprised and rather embarrassed being the center of attention in this way---I had thought I would be the one to request a harana, not be on the receiving end of one. But it really made my birthday extra special. I was also given letter-shaped chocolates that spelled out "Happy Birthday JM." I'll post pictures of them later.

My boss Rachel, as it turns out, did this for me on behalf of Pops. Awwww. Thanks.

We got to watch "Shall We Dance" at Rockwell the other night.

Pretty nice film, really. The story is rather mundane on its own, which leaves the actors to do a good job of fleshing out the memorable characters that carry the movie. No one among the main characters is left unnoticed, and by the time the film ends we feel as if we've known them a long time.

Apparently a big reason why the film works that well is because it's a remake of a Japanese film of the same title. Due credit however goes to Richard Gere, Jennifer Lopez and Stanley Tucci who give a sentimental yet comic performance here.
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I particularly like one of the quotes of Susan Sarandon's character Beverly. Paraphrased:
"Why do we get married? It's because we want someone to be a witness to our mundane lives."
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I've lost all possible reason to go to Robinsons Place Manila. The arcade has closed and the department store isn't all that exciting. Oh well. This will do wonders for my bank account.
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Got an early birthday present while doing my service evaluation assignment for MARKSER: a pair of Puma Speed Cats.


They're leather non-fireproof replicas of the shoes used by Formula 1 drivers. As you can probably see, the narrow rubber sole has an intermediate tire tread pattern embossed all over it.

Despite the light off-white color being prone to stains, I love them. They're not as shock-absorbent nor as light as my Adidas Stratos badminton shoes, nor are their soles as wide, so playing badminton in this pair is out of the question. But they're comfortable enough to live with without Dr. Scholls' finest products in them.

Thanks Mom!
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A similar shoe to the Speed Cat L is the Adidas Tuscany, which comes in leather or nylon. It's also based on Adidas' previous Monza racing boot, and has the Goodyear Eagle F1 tire tread pattern etched into the sole.



Since I had had great experiences with all their shoes I've owned over the years (excellent comfort and shock absorption is an Adidas trademark in my opinion), I decided to try the Tuscany pair on this evening to see how it compared to the heretofore untested Pumas.

The Tuscany had a wider, more accommodating outsole, but had a pronounced "spine" that ran along the length of the sole, which felt rather weird on my feet as I tried a few steps and hops. As a result the normally comfortable insoles felt a bit inadequate. The Speed Cats may have less comfortable insoles but the shoe in its entirety is just easier to live with. Given the same size (my feet are 9s) they fit better too.

Traffic was simply atrocious today.

It was as if the fates had conspired in secret just to make all the roads and highways tangled, clogged and messed up on this one day. This conclusion I had arrived at because I could figure no other reason as to why exactly the traffic was THAT bad. It's no payday and Fridays aren't usually all this crowded. It's just insane.

I'm just glad I'm home. My legs hurt from prodding the clutch all the time. My bladder hurts from holding all that urine in the driver's seat for nearly two hours. And I bet my engine's hurting from burning all that wasted gas in traffic. Shucks.

Times like these...I wish I owned a decent 400cc motorcycle. That black Honda CB400 Version S I see parked at the STRC seems like a damn fine bike...wonder how much it costs?
===

That was the LEAP alternative class I took a couple weeks ago. While we didn't really learn how to ride a bike (c'mon, how could you do that inside a classroom in Gokongwei Hall?), I got to learn important things about dealing with and tolerating bike riders who share the same roads as I do in my City. Instructors Patrick and Jake were really accommodating. I really feel like taking a class one of these days...of course, money's my perennial concern.

Interestingly there are more motorbikes than cars in the whole of the Philippines now. It's about time they had more of a say in setting public policy regarding traffic.
===

Just after the first three days in February I've sold PhP3,900 worth of AVON stuff. I think I'm getting better at this selling thing.

I just hope my clients have the mind to pay me on time because I'm not comfortable with leaving a PhP7,000 tab at the Remedios office.
===

The Job Expo has yet again come...and gone.

The prospect of getting employed, even just as a part-time employee or on OJT, kind of appeals to me already. It's just too bad that it looks like I'll be somewhere else during the summer break and I have two more terms to go before I'm free. All I'm left with is an incomplete (and now useless) transcript of records and a flawed resume.

What a shame. I already got application forms from Toyota Motor Phils. Corp. and Rustan Coffee Corp. (aka the local Starbucks franchise), but I didn't get to send them in. I did manage to get a hold of Toyota's PR supervisor's fax number though. Thought I could send a sponsorship proposal their way.
===

Crap, I'm getting old. I'll be 22 next week.

I'm not entirely sure if it's cause for celebration.

This term's beginning to feel like an exact replica of the last. The same sort of demands are made on me and they don't seem to be letting up.

There's the major concert for Pops. There are only four weeks left till the big night and we really, really need sponsorships. I'll be responsible for making print materials for that event too, namely the souvenir program.

There's also the matter of the professors beginning to bare their teeth. I had thought our profs were kind enough to give us some easy sailing, but I'm beginning to see low test scores on my papers. Shucks.

I gotta pull my act together somehow.
===

Now more people can start believing in the sign of Z.

"Mobile Suit Z Gundam" premieres on Animax on February 13. This is probably a broadcast of Bandai's recent DVD box set. I'll be watching this just to check the differences.
===

I've become an absolute nut for Initial D ver.3. I've spent quite a lot of time and money on it and I'm pleased to say I've gotten pretty good. My regular stomping grounds are twisty Happogahara and Tsuchizaka nowadays.

However I still can't manage to defeat Takumi on Akina's downhill, always losing by a mere 25 meters. Darn.

I might not be able to play as often as I did though; Robinsons Place Manila's arcade will supposedly cease operation on February 5. Oh well.

ORIENT3 ended last Saturday.

All of us were primped in our business clothes, neckties and suits. All of us submitted our two-page-or-longer resumes. All of us were frightened at the thought of having to face a job interview.

Somehow I left the room feeling a little scared and unprepared, as if what I am right now isn't enough to satisfy future employers despite my having a degree in De La Salle University - Manila. It's going to be tough having to deal with the pressures of the real world after spending 18 years in school.

I envy those people who can make clear-cut goals for themselves, like Angiela for example. This early she's decided on quitting her present post at Philamlife---this after only around a year being employed there, and with the kind of salary she has! But she's very headstrong. She figures she wants to move on and experience all the professions her accountancy career can take her---even if it means getting a lower salary. Listening to her talk over tea and coffee at Starbucks, I felt she wanted to do so much within the span of the next eight years.

I don't know. I probably made the mistake of thinking that I'd be young forever, or that I wouldn't have to live on my own. The world is changing so rapidly and so I really need to keep up, be competitive, make the most of the next few years. I'll be 22 in less than a month. It's about time I got started getting serious about my life and stopped being so nearsighted about things.
===

After ORIENT3 I quickly headed over to Kart Trak to join the HCP EB, even if I was late. Turns out my arrival was just around a half hour before Juno and the others decided to adjourn.

Because the Tropang SX8 City won the prize at the Christmas Party for Tropa of the Month, we decided to squander the PhP5,000 prize money on karting and dinner. Eight of us trooped over to the nearby go-kart racetrack in the CCP complex.

I have to say my friends were really good kart racers. Patrick Chua, especially, was driving and drifting his kart through the corners like a bat out of hell. He drove impeccably in both heats he ran.

As for me I decided to drive conservatively as the CCP track was a lot more technical than the Enchanted Kingdom one. There are technically no straightaways here; most of the time you'll find yourself fighting the g-forces, leaning your body into the turns, heaving the little steering wheel to point the kart in the direction you want. Manhandling the steering wheel feels like lifting weights---do it too often and you'll soon tire out. I did well enough to improve by around two seconds on my second heat, but I always kept clear of potential overtakers and I still came dead last.

After the kart races we accelerated over to Shell Macapagal to eat dinner at Yellow Cab Pizza. There we discussed the minutiae of our lives and our passion for fast cars. It was rather nice having the SX8 barkada around to hang out with, and I wish I could do this more often.
===

This afternoon while waiting for Bianca to finish her class, I scooted over to Robinsons Place Manila to burn money on Initial D ver.3.

Despite having only a crappy non-turbo S14Q Nissan Silvia as my primary car, I finally managed to conquer Irohazaka and Akina-Snow within an hour! I was grinning ear to ear from the achievement. If this was what I could do with a humble S14Q, what more could I accomplish if I got my blue AP1 Honda S2000 back?

Akina-Snow was especially surprising. I thought it would be hard, but I beat Miki's ST205 Toyota Celica GT-Four 4WD in just two tries. Reflective of driving on the snow itself, the steering wheel lightens almost ridiculously, meaning there's less effort in turning and there's less of a distinction between making a good drift through the corners or ending up rubbing the guard rails. The secret is to keep everything smooth and predictable.

As for finally defeating Kai Kogashiwara's SW20 Toyota MR2 G-Limited in Irohazaka, I essentially saw through his "corner-jumping" technique and applied it on my own S14Q. HAH! Turns out it was nothing special after all. Pretty efficient technique though.

Attended the ATIFTAP E-Trade Bridge Program workshop at Oakwood, Makati last Friday for my subjects MARKNAL and MARKPRO. I had originally intended to stay just for an hour when sleepy old me arrived in business attire at 9:30 am.

I got so interested that I ended up skipping one of my classes.

When I came along, the workshop was in the middle of some sort of integrative activity about everything that had been discussed in the previous day. Because I had been absent and uninformed, I was sitting there uncomfortably trying to grasp the subject matter for a good hour.

My mates at the table were all nice men and women though. Most of them were working for financial institutions, the government or small-enterprise businessmen. We were eventually made into a group to discuss the importance of e-trade in the Philippines and if it was enough to convince the government to get involved.

Met Roberto Castañeda there, too. His name might not ring a bell, but he's the proprietor of the only winery in the world that makes mango and coffee wine. I was impressed at how passionate he was about the whole discussion yet was jovial enough to crack jokes. He felt that e-trade was indeed necessary in these times because it can empower SMEs (small and medium enterprises) to become "Smarter, Mightier Enterprises."

Before we parted ways we had a little chat and he seemed to have taken a liking to me. He left me a calling card and invited me to a free tour of his winery in Imus, Cavite.

I was certainly rather unfortunate that I didn't get to taste his wines there at the venue, when the bottles were right in the middle of the meeting room. Also it's somewhat depressing to hear that local spirits stores would not carry his product, just offering the foreign wines instead. Sigh.
===

Finally got to watch "The Incredibles" and it was good. Very good. Pixar seems to make pretty good animated movies targeted to kids that are appealing even to adults. That's a feat.
===

Also finally managed to watch the first fansubbed episodes of "Gundam SEED Destiny."

Right off the bat I can clearly say that if SEED was a retelling of the original "Mobile Suit Gundam," SEED-D is "Z Gundam" retold for the 21st century. So many events and elements in this latest series have their parallels to that 1985 anime. Hmmmm. This will get interesting, I'm sure.

I don't like the way I'm behaving lately.

I've mouthed off in a rage all too often only to feel really bad about it the next moment. Maybe some anger management is in order?

Perhaps I also owe my sister some credit. She's acted as my conscience.

This term I enrolled in ORIENT3. It's basically a career counseling course, taking up three whole Saturdays...but that's it for the entire term.

The big surprise was that this time I finally got acquainted with my longtime crush, Angela Navarro. After four years of nothing but the mutual cold shoulder, we finally meet properly. In the limited time I had with her, I found her really cool and feisty and more than just a pixie-like face. She definitely has a knack for going her own way, and Anj really is as nice as people say she is.

Today's ORIENT3 session started out slow but ended pretty well. Sir Ennan, our facilitator, wasn't much of an articulative and interesting guy, but I could see he was being earnest and sincere with his work. I was with Kwapaw and Alrey Villagracia (an acquaintance from my ROTC Navigator days) the whole time and I had quite a bit of fun. I'm looking forward to the next two Saturdays.
===

Every time I go to the grocery with my folks and we go to the meat section, I can't help but watch in awe at the butcher workers skilfully running chunks of pork and beef through huge electric meat saws...with only their bare hands. It's a small miracle I've never seen any of them cut up their fingers or hands with the high-speed cutting tool. The very thought of it is rather revolting, to be honest.

I for one wouldn't be able to stand working in that situation. Knowing how easily distracted I am, I'd probably end up cutting my own arm off. I have respect for these newfangled butchers and their amazing sense of focus.

My fingers go all limp just thinking about it. Shucks. I should change the subject.
===

On a brighter note...HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHER!

A belated Happy New Year to everyone!
===

New Year's was certainly amazing.

We were at White Plains, as usual, swigging wine, eating cold cuts and watching the fireworks as they drowned out the starlight. My cousins Bea, Martin and Carlo (damn he's tall!) pretty much enjoyed the spectacle, and I found myself admiring how fancy these firecrackers have gotten. Lots of skyrockets flew with a main explosion, then their fragments exploded further into clusters of sparks. Very very cool.
===

Bianx celebrated her birthday on the 2nd. Still rather hard to believe that she's 20 already. Just as hard to believe is that I'll be 22 in a month's time.

We spent the afternoon looking around in Landmark and picking out my mom's present for her. She eventually got a new Philips VCD boombox, with a copy of "Gothika" thrown in. Not bad. I just hope the thing doesn't break down as easily as my various pairs of Philips ear/headphones did.

The other day I spent with Paolo and Dinggoy. We paid tuition first thing in the morning. This was the first time I was able to apply my tuition discount from my participation in Pops as I submitted all the requirements. I was frankly surprised to get a 22.8% reduction in tuition. That's PhP6,000 saved! I bet my dad's proud of me; he's...just not telling me about it.

By noontime we were at Glorietta 4, just walking around, burning money on games of Initial D ver.3 and Wangan Midnight Maximum Tune, where Pao and I share ownership of a tricked-out Lancer Evo VI. We moved on to girl-watching as well...and this was probably the first time I saw guys getting all "kilig" over a girl. Maybe I just wasn't paying too much attention to Carlo Trillo's new girlfriend, but Dinggoy and Pao were gobsmacked by the sight of her. They swear she's the complete package. Me, I just kept silent. Afternoon was rather fun though.

School's starting again tomorrow...it's going to be another term of madness. I really hope this one's a lot smoother than the two previous terms. Might as well enjoy the final ones I'll have in DLSU, right?

I finally got the model kit of my recent dreams...in a slightly different form. Instead of getting the 1/100 MG Aile Strike, I got the 1/100 MG Strike Rouge. Basically the same thing, only the Rouge is colored pink and red and is piloted by Orb's princess Cagalli Yula Atha.


While I was at Great Toys getting the Z Gundam 6-DVD set, I had noticed the Strike Rouge on the high shelf. The saleslady told me there were still no MG Aile Strike kits. I figured why not get this one instead? Besides, I already had an HG Aile Strike.

I took it home and opened the box. I was amazed at just how many parts were there to cut off and complete. There were 9 main runners of parts, not including the ones for the beam saber blades, the ones for the 1/20 figure of Cagalli, and the huge runner for all the polycaps. I got to work cutting and filing down the parts...and it took me 9 hours of solid work to finish, including the Aile Striker flight pack and the linear-catapult display base. Was it a challenge for me or what!

This early on though I will note some potential problems. The MG kits are best considered true models and not toys. This is evidenced by just how heavy the finished Strike Rouge model is---owing to all that added plastic in its internal frame---and its rather poor foot stability while standing up, compared to its smaller HG cousin. Equipping the Aile Striker makes things rather complicated too---it makes an inherently unstable model back-heavy. I suppose those floppy hinged feet are the primary reason why the display base was thrown in. The base has an adjustable arm that plugs into a slot in the Strike Rouge's crotch area for in-flight poses.

As a project and as a whole however, this kit is stupendous. It certainly met 90% of my expectations. I'll be looking forward to making at least one more MG model in the near future.
===

Since I mentioned Z Gundam, I might as well talk about it. I watched all 50 episodes in a semi-marathon and watched all the events of UC 0087 fly by me.



Let me get one thing straight: the subtitling on these DVDs frustrated me. A Taiwanese company did the Chinese and English subs on these DVDs, so I suppose they concentrated their efforts on their Chinese audience. On the first DVD a frustrating number of instances can be seen where the subs were nonexistent. Fortunately things do get better, but some later episodes and even the final DVD have "bastardized" names. Camille Bidan turns into "Jiameiyou" while the ship Guwadan turns into "GuFada." The English itself used on these episodes also gets turned into an irritating mishmash which would probably make better sense when spoken in Mandarin. Really irritating. I paid PhP2400 for this?! Where's the consistency in good subtitling?

As for Z Gundam itself it's pretty good. I've read reports that this series was very dark---they were not kidding. As early as the first episodes Camille's parents get killed right in front of his eyes. The writers take every opportunity to convince us that the Titans government of the Earth is atrocious and worth hating, yet in the trademark Gundam way, the AEUG rebels aren't really that heroic either. I'll shut up about the rather shocking ending.

The animation surprisingly doesn't take a very big leap from the quality of 0079, however, and that might be a pain to watch for newer viewers used to the slickness of Gundam Wing and Gundam SEED.

I admit I didn't enjoy this one as much as I would have, simply because of that subtitling. If the subs worked however, I feel I would prefer the original 0079 over Z Gundam. Zeta seems a bit too serious and fast-paced. Up to now I think I had lost track of the progression of the plot simply because every episode is packed with action and new plot directions. It's as if 50 episodes were not enough to contain its story. Still good though.
===

A 9.0 quake in Indonesia recently triggered a major tsunami that affected the coastlines of 8 Asian countries and killed thousands of people. Damn.

I've been thinking about how the Philippines would survive one. I bet if one had hit Manila, we'd be an instant bowl of seawater that won't drain away. You can't really predict when a tsunami's going to hit; besides if you could, what would you be able to do within 15 minutes? Where would you go? Panic's surely going to set in.

Makes me wonder how vulnerable we actually are to nature. As long as we reside on earth, we are hapless subjects to its tantrums (earthquakes) and acne (volcanoes).

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE!
===

Looks like that trip to Puerto Galera isn't pushing through. No one's contacted me about it yet. Gotta assume I'm staying put.

Oh well. At least I can look forward to my coming Z Gundam DVDs. I'll finally be able to buy that crazy MG Aile Strike Gundam model kit too...once I can find a kit lying around somewhere.

Speaking of model kits, Bianx gave me two 1/144 FG kits: a Mobile DINN and a Zaku Warrior from Gundam SEED Destiny. Finished both in less than two hours. I'm now uploading their pictures.
===

One popular joke flying around these days:

"In this season of joyous excess, please remember: Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator."

The excesses of the season are sure getting to me. Be careful out there, guys. Drink plenty of tea and eat lots of fiber. It's for your own good. :D

In a strange twist I actually went back to lifting weights after years of not even touching my dad's barbells set. I don't really know what came over me. I suppose it's just that I'm kinda sick of not being able to do anything to address my weight gain from my previous relationship, and great sport as it is, badminton won't do much on its own.
===

My sister and I went shopping yesterday...basically a last-ditch effort to buy gifts and to buy some stuff my mom forgot to ask me to buy the last time I went to the supermarket.

This was another opportunity to go down to Goldcrest and look for Great Toys. I was surprised to see a mom there talking with the sales lady. She seemed to be one of the regular customers, seeing how she actually knew most of the merchandise very well. Pretty cool.

After she made her exit, I inquired the friendly saleslady about the recent deliveries of the MG Aile Strike Gundam I had wanted so badly. Unfortunately all two of the shipment received had already been reserved (damn!). Oh well. I suppose that can wait. Besides I already did buy an HGUC Zeta Gundam kit. I decided to lay down some money for reserving the Z Gundam DVD box set for 30 days instead.

If that MG Aile Strike doesn't materialize by the time I have enough money to spring for an MG kit once more, I'll just get an MG Wing Gundam ver. Ka instead.
===

While having lunch at Taketori and waiting for more course cards to come, my friends hatched plans to go to Puerto Galera in Mindoro island right after the Christmas weekend. I was game. I really wanted to spend time with my blockmates far removed from the requirements and stresses of school work. Besides I wanted to make up for not going to Tara's house party last week.

I hope those plans push through. It'd sure beat staying at home bored to death.
===

I'm beginning to regret ever having joined Gundam Board.

The moderators there simply shove their opinions down everybody else's throat. It's an insult to other people's intelligence, really. From now on I'm only going there to check up on the model-making section.

MechaPinoy meanwhile is okay...it's just that the forum seems so lifeless. Often I'm the only one who's online at any given time. Sigh.

Today was a good day.
===

I passed ECONTRI, garnering a 1.5. Better than I hoped for, although all my classmates got 2.5s and up. I guess I have no right to complain.

All my 3 marketing major subjects got me a 3.5. Add to that the 1.5 from PROJCO2 (Comm Arts thesis) and the 2.0 from PARTCOR and I get a 2.68 term GPA. I used to obsess about getting at least a 3.0 GPA, but this reminds me that I'm just human and I'm probably becoming a little more well-rounded as a person. And that grades are ultimately just numbers.
===

Went to Great Toys in Goldcrest today, on the advice of new acquaintances at MechaPinoy.com, and looked around their more exotic merchandise.

They're selling the PG Strike Gundam for PhP7,900---cheaper than I thought for a Perfect Grade kit. Also on sale was the MG Wing Gundam ver. Ka, for PhP2,350. Not bad! Some saving up over the coming months will certainly get me closer to owning that glorious MG kit---and I'm no Gundam Wing fan either. Hajime Katoki's restyling of the Wing Gundam is just so gorgeous.

Still no MG Aile Strike though.

Their "Kidou Senshi (Mobile Suit) Z Gundam" DVD box set is also cheaper than in other shops; I was quoted PhP2,400 for the whole TV series on DVD---almost half the price at Comic Alley in SM Megamall. I'd like to get one of these for Christmas. *hint hint nudge nudge*
====

While I was in the vicinity I paid off my outstanding debt portion to Aaron, our thesis video editor at Lightbox Multimedia at Cityland Pasong Tamo Tower. Nice guy, that Aaron. Really helpful. When I have video editing needs he's the first guy I'll be looking for.

My japanese name is 松尾 Matsuo (tail of a pine tree) 雄大 Masahiro (big hero).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

I'm generally not too happy these days.

Aside from thesis defense being graded so ridiculously low, I also stand the big chance of flunking ECONTRI. This I realized within the two hours of the final exam last Wednesday. I couldn't get a straight answer for most of the questions---most embarrassing of which was a 20-item enumeration part about market structures' advantages and disadvantages that I could have simply copied onto my formula sheet. Because I failed to do that, I lost out on a major opportunity to make up.

My test grades aren't that good, my project grade is questionable. The only assurance I have now is the automatic 12% from never being absent and submitting the project ahead of time. I doubt that's enough though.

Four years of not flunking anything and now this. Sigh.
===

In the afternoon I went to Glorietta to watch the DLSU Pops Orchestra concert, hoping to take pictures. Blunder number 2: I brought the wrong lens. I had forgotten to bring my usual 55mm Micro-Nikkor and left home with the 20mm wide-angle Nikkor instead. This meant taking pictures with my camera was hard, as I had to get very close to the stage to get any half-decent shots. I should have just brought my heavy 70-210mm Vivitar, but perhaps that would have been too heavy for shooting hand-held pictures. I would need a tripod; I would also need approval from the Glorietta administration.

The concert was fine though. Pops jammed along to recording artists such as Nina, Jed Maddela, Divo Bayer and Sheryn Regis. The latter was my pick of the night: she had a great voice and even though some of her songs fouled up, she carried her mistakes in stride and carried on, even poking fun at herself. Now that's good showmanship.

Note I said "fine," not "great." The concert was plagued with a lot of errors: some from the recording artists, others from our own vocalists, still others from a confused Rhythms section. That can be blamed from lack of practice and bad timing as the concert happens smack dab in the middle of finals week. It was okay though. Mr. Aniceto from PARI still had good words about us, and people still trooped to the Glorietta activity center in droves, so I guess despite the foul-ups it was a successful concert nonetheless.
===

Because I arrived early, prior to the concert I spent my time looking around. My first stop was Lil's Futaba in Park Square 1, where I saw the same old Gundam model kits being sold (I swear, this shop really has the slowest inventory turnover of any I've been in). Even saw a very old MS-14 Gelgoog kit---straight from the 1980s I believe.

Looked through the Tamiya car model kits and found a couple of old WRC ones: the Lancer Evo VII WRC and the GC8 Impreza WRC. I might spring for those next time when I've built up my workbench materials.

Having done research on paints, panel lines and other preparation tips for plastic model kits, I decided to take a look at their paint shelf. They didn't have primer on sale, although they did have a full selection of acrylic paints. No good as I don't have an airbrush, and I didn't have any idea of where to look for one. I also saw some Gundam Markers, both for panel lines and painting. The paint ones were being sold in groups of 6 at PhP750 each. The thin ones for panel lines I read weren't so good.

I decided to buy an X-Acto knife instead. This little pen-shaped knife is extremely sharp and is ideal for removing "flash" (excess plastic bumps from the trees/sprues/grids that carry the parts of plastic models). The knife cost me PhP210, and replacement blades were PhP150 for 6. Not bad. Besides it's the coolest looking knife I own---it looks like a freaking surgeon's scalpel.

Decided to look for something to test this knife on.
===

My next stop was Toy Kingdom at SM Makati. This place has changed considerably. In the 1980s it was a straightforward department store for the longest time, but after its recent gentrification (wow, that's a retail marketing term!) it's become a real mall with 4 floors, a basement and an annex to the Ayala MRT station. Not half bad!

Took me a while to look for the Gundam model kit display, only to stupidly miss out on the big RX-78 Gundam standee. (*smacks hand on forehead*) Frustratingly there was still no sign of the MG Aile Strike Gundam, anywhere. More Gundam SEED MSV kits were available though (Dreadnaught Gundam, 105Dagger + Gunbarrel), and the Big Scale 1/60 Freedom Gundam kit was on sale too. Probably not worth the price of PhP4,000, as the newly released MG 1/100 version has a lot more detail and a proper internal mechanical skeleton at PhP700 less. But hey, there's no PG 1/60 Freedom yet, so if you really have to have a 1/60 Freedom...

This was the first place where I saw the 1/400 White Base spaceship model from the original series, Gundam 0079. The box itself is HUGE and very heavy, and you can probably guess the price was HUGE as well (PhP9,000). But I imagine it'll be a blast for serious plastic model-makers, particularly the bigger fans of Gundam 0079.

Toy Kingdom branches seem to carry a huge selection of MG 1/100 kits. Of course the much-maligned MG Zeta Gundam model was there, still at PhP2,200. I swear I'm going to get one of these MGs, even if I have to buy an RGM-79C Space GM kit or an MG-1.5 RX-78-2 Gundam kit to start off cheap. Don't have the money yet though.

I was about to give up the hunt but I decided to look at the HG kits just for curiosity's sake. I saw the HGUC 1/144 Zeta Gundam kit and immediately became curious. I had heard good reviews about this kit---at least it was deemed better than its infamous MG brother, especially with its transformation to the famous Wave Rider (WR) jet mode, where the MG version flopped around incessantly. After the concert I went back to the store and bought it for PhP1,100.
===

I finished constructing the kit after two days. I used the X-Acto knife liberally for this kit, removing plastic flash and filing the remaining little bumps down with my steel nail file, and that took much of the time of making the HGUC Zeta. The result of all this flash removal and sanding was a cleaner-looking and more realistic model. That X-Acto knife is never going to leave my side.

Here's the thing: Bandai actually did away with the transformation ability with the HGUC Zeta kit. You construct the Zeta Gundam mobile suit and its weapons first, then you construct a "secondary frame" which becomes key to WR mode. You then remove the upper torso/chest, wing binders, rear and side skirt armor and legs and connect them all to the WR secondary frame---with the shield, of course. Technically speaking, you're pillaging parts from the mobile suit and putting them all on the WR frame. The end result however is a solid, wiggle-free Wave Rider, which people say is worth it. At least it's not as flawed as the MG version, where the mobile suit itself is floppy due to all the transformation mechanisms.

The HGUC Zeta is surprisingly restricted in its movement, having been used to the HG Gundam SEED line. Because of this general unyielding nature, it actually feels a lot older than the SEED kits I have, despite the HGUC line being a recent re-issue of the Universal Century model kit line. Personally I think the true knee joints are too stiff to bend properly, and the legs and feet make the kit a bit harder to pose. I've taken to bending the "false" knees instead for poses as they're a lot easier to manipulate. The high-heel feet are too small in my opinion, and look like they've been designed with looks and not vertical stability as a priority.

The rest of the kit is quite good though. Shoulder armor allows some sideward arm movement because it's articulated at appropriate points---a plus in my book. Arms are standard HG fare: 90 degrees of forearm movement. Zeta's head itself seems huge compared to the heads of the SEED kits I own (Strike, Duel, Aegis) but it's proportional to the rest of the model.

The weapons are this kit's party piece: both the beam rifle and hyper mega launcher (that's really what it's called) are HUGE and have extending/retracting barrels, supposedly true to the Z Gundam anime where their barrels retract in Zeta's compact WR form. There's a third hand with an attached unpainted beam saber, its rather large hilt being held by fixed fingers. The "hand grenade" launchers are supplied but they don't open; they're essentially added bulk you can attach to the Zeta's forearms.

The hyper mega launcher is really something special. I suspect this is where Gundam Wing's famous colony-destroying Buster Rifle got its inspiration. It's taller than the Zeta itself even when retracted. It has three grips (two on the sides and a standard one below with the trigger) and all have swinging covers. The upper side of this huge weapon has slots for the WR mode's landing gear. Basically this means the Wave Rider has to have the hyper mega launcher attached to its underside for "landed" stationary poses. The surprising thing is that despite its size, the weapon is very light and the Zeta has no trouble carrying it in its arms in a pose, once you work out the idiosyncrasy of fitting the hands over the grips.

I just took pictures of the HGUC Zeta this afternoon to finish off the roll of film I used for the Glorietta concert. I'll be uploading them soon enough.
===

If you want a fully transformable, solid all-around Zeta Gundam, you'll have to spend PhP11,000 or so on a 1/60 Perfect Grade kit, and I'm not willing to spend that much. I have seen pictures of a finished PG Zeta, however, and it is AWESOME.

Some Italian dude made his two years ago and he detailed the procedure on this site (just look for the MSZ-006 Zeta Gundam link). He dedicated 8 or so pages to the Zeta and its construction, even featuring sequential photos of its transformation to Wave Rider mode (see page 5 of his Zeta Gundam pages). This was where I finally understood how the Zeta "crunched up on itself" as a plane. The finished kit is simply remarkable.

Right now it's the stuff my dreams are made of. I can't imagine how I'll be able to piece it together though. All I've worked with are rather simple and small 1/144 HG kits. Oh well, if there's a will, there's a way.
===

Tonight I'm supposed to be at a party at Tara's house: basically a reunion of sorts and a simple affair to celebrate the end of the school year. I noticed we were basically seeing each other in school everyday without talking about much except school work.

Yet I'm at home. I don't know. I've been feeling I probably don't deserve to party especially as my ECONTRI fate is unknown. I also owe my body a huge debt, being out of energy and sleeping late all the time. At the time I was considering asking for my dad's permission, I actually napped out and lost my chance as I woke up pretty before dinner.

Oh well. There will be other times. I'm particularly looking forward to watching "Ocean's Twelve" early next year with the gang when it premieres January 6. I miss them terribly and I just want to be with them without the hassles of school.

I've pretty much had it with school anyway. Let's just say I feel discouraged and have lost all self-confidence in academic matters. At least my marketing major subjects look steady.
===

Fernando Poe Jr. died recently from a stroke that left him in a permanent coma.

Frankly I don't care whether he lives or dies. I just don't want to see that overplayed postmortem tribute to him all over the evening news. My goodness. There are more pressing matters than that---that's why news is called NEWS. Why does his funeral have to hog the WHOLE HOUR of the primetime news?
===

KC de Venecia, Congress Speaker Jose de Venecia's youngest daughter, died last night. She got burned alive in her own house because of faulty Christmas lights setting fire to the place and wrecking the whole second floor of their house.

I'll pray for her soul. I know how the de Venecias feel: I myself spotted our own Christmas tree ablaze from faulty Christmas lights.

Tip for all of you reading this: Don't put Christmas lights at all. You'll save on electricity and save the possibility of making yourselves your own unintentional arsonists.

The three of us felt like idiots waiting to be slaughtered by the panelists. It wasn't a great feeling. Pretty much the entire movie was blasted to bits---plotline, character development, production design, technical problems. And the worst part about it was that I agreed with all the comments. (But damn, those plotline comments hurt. I practically conjured it all in one magical night. Perhaps it wasn't so magical after all.)

Ours was an ameteurish movie at best, done in a campus that was expecting excellence. Up to now I have a bitter taste in my mouth, my heart regurgitating regret about not having had more creative control over production. Sigh.

Oh well. I guess this just means I'm not cut out for moviemaking. I am just semi-glad that it's over. I can bid farewell to all these finicky teachers, boring lessons, rejections upon countless proposal rejections.

I'm just semi-glad I'm finished with AB Communication Arts.
===

I'm grateful to all the people who helped us finish "Uninvited."

Shout-outs go to Geraldine Tan, Mrs. Grace Tan, Reggie Curley, the Batac and Melendres families, Aaron David and everyone at Lightbox Multimedia, my sister and all her friends, Dr. Mike Rapatan, LC24, LR31, Mom, Dad and all my friends for believing in me.

I hope I did you proud.
===

I have PARTCOR finals later at 6pm. As much as I'd like to watch the other groups do their defense, a part of me strongly opposes. I haven't really studied all that much and I'm sure I'll need the legal knowledge, as my PARTCOR grades aren't really that high. Borderline acceptable, if I were an accounting student (which I'm glad I'm not).

"Ignorance of the law excuses no one."
===

Now I REALLY want to spoil myself.

I want a Master-Grade 1/100 Aile Strike Gundam model kit...NOW.

That's the one with the fancy fully articulated internal mobile frame, the sickening detail on all the parts, the fancy full-jointed fingers, the Hajime Katoki-style appearance.

I want to paint it properly and add all the little panel lines with a 0.001 mm pen, before I get out my Swiss Army knife and cut and smooth all the parts from the plastic sprues. When I'm finished I want to mount the Strike on its linear catapult/display stand and pose it for all the world to see.

This kit will keep me busy for hours, maybe even days. I just want to get rid of my frustration by literally doing something constructive. This is probably better than having to contend with a noisy selfish girlfriend...and I'm glad I don't have one right now.

My main problem is money...I'm having second thoughts on blowing the PhP2,700 needed just for the kit. Sigh. I'm pretty damn close to broke.

But cripes I want one of these so bad.

Christmas is just around the corner. Shucks. Haven't finished my shopping yet.
===

Thesis defense---erm, the premiere screening of "Uninvited"---is at 10:20 am tomorrow morning. Damn, I am nervous. I still can't imagine how I'd be able to answer the panel's questions (which there will surely be a lot of).

Wish us luck, guys.

Because of this damn thesis I haven't been able to study Partnership and Corporation Law. Our final exam's at 6pm, tomorrow as well.
===

One notable occurrence: Dups delos Reyes wrote me a couple emails regarding my humble "sales career." Sent him a pretty long reply.

In all honesty, this was the last thing I expected to appear in my mailbox. A welcome surprise though.
===

I feel like a vegetable. I'll write again tomorrow.

I hope.

Things might just actually work.

Everything is due on Friday, fucking December 10. That's tomorrow. But it seems I'm on my way to finishing 80% of it. We've shown Bro. --- I mean, Dr. Mike our rough cut thesis film and have gotten his consent for defense; I've finished most of the ECONTRI take-home quiz; Nicole and I have finished 99% of the ECONTRI paper (which I have to print tomorrow); I've finished my contribution to the MARKOST retail plan...I'm actually wary of feeling too relaxed as I think some more bullshit will crop up.

Now the only thing I have to get started on is a 10-page MARKOST position paper that I haven't even started. This is going to take a long while.

Sigh.
===

More to the point I'm grateful to Dr. Mike for allowing us to defend. We're actually going to be able to graduate!

I'm not happy with the way some things are turning out lately.

First and foremost is thesis. It was a shock for us to realize that we needed to have an original soundtrack for the film---meaning the songs should not be composed by mainstream artists. There go our song ideas. We're trying to work around it now. Later this afternoon we'll be editing our film professionally at a former batchmate's.

Also I'm a bit jittery at how Bro. Mike is going to approve us for defense. We haven't been able to show him a rough cut of our finished work yet and I guess he's justified in not letting us defend on Monday the 13th, if ever that happens. Sigh.

Nicole and I have made some progress in our ECONTRI final project but as it turns out our computation and data are woefully incomplete so far. Because of the latest crop of storms trashing the country we haven't been able to meet up a second time to finish it.

MARKOST is also another bugbear. By the end of the week I'm supposed to submit and defend a position paper on Philippine global brands and how they're faring. Plus we also have a final paper too, regarding a store we'd bring into the new mall Market! Market!.

The only consolation is that I got finals only for PARTCOR and ECONTRI. Sigh. I wonder how I'm going to get through this term in one piece.
===

We had our pre-Christmas concerts at Shangri-la Plaza mall on two separate weekends and they've been pretty good so far. Next stop for Pops is the Glorietta Activity Center on December 15, 3 pm. We'll be rubbing shoulders with established recording artists there as this concert's being sponsored by the Philippine Association of the Recording Industry (PARI) against music piracy. The concert series is titled, appropriately enough, "NO FAKES!"

The jitters are rushing through me.
===

The Freedom Gundam is being offered in an MG model now, and I saw one being sold in Comic Alley in SM Megamall last Saturday. PhP3,250.

I don't know about you but that's broken through my psychological price barrier. I was thinking about getting the Freedom instead of the Aile Strike in hopes that they'd have the same price (PhP2,700) because I already have an HG 1/144 Aile Strike. Oh well.

In my model-browsing weekend adventure I came across some Perfect Grade models as well. A PG Wing Zero Custom costs PhP9,500. A PG Gundam Mk.II Titans version costs PhP10,000. A PG GP01/Fb Zephyranthes costs an eye-popping PhP14,000. Great goodness.

Intriguing finds galore at Toy Kingdom Megamall. Lots of older MG models there including the notoriously flawed MG Zeta Gundam, priced rather cheap at PhP2,200. Lots of MSV HG 1/144 kits from Gundam SEED too. Most intriguing was the Astray Gold Frame Gold Mecha Version 1/100 kit, selling for PhP2,800 in an unassumingly small gold-colored box.

Right then I was really ready to buy the MG Aile Strike kit if I saw one. As I didn't find one in Shangri-la or Megamall, I think that was a blessing in disguise.
===

I'm plagued with a persistent cough that doesn't want to go away. The phlegm sometimes just doesn't get out of my throat and I keep coughing and coughing to no avail. Sigh.

After fretting over my own procrastination, I had jittery nerves today before I made my sales presentation for the Honda Jazz as part of MARKSAM requirements. It got to the point that I had trouble focusing on studying for my PARTCOR quiz. I must have browsed through the same 3 chapters of Charles Futrell's book for God-knows-how-many times, never mustering the time to actually rehearse the damn thing.

It's a good thing we asked Mr. Maglutac to be the second group to present.

That got me enough time to rehearse and prepare. Catcat in particular was pretty dogged in her questions and objections and she got me prepped on how to address them within the presentation. I can even say that after going through her, getting Mr. Maglutac sold on the car was pretty easy in comparison. (Thanks a lot Catcat!)

Mr. Maglutac was rather pleased with how I did but did mention that I kinda balked on "asking for the business," instead going through with the presentation. Perhaps that part I owe from just being plain ignorant on how car sales are actually made. It just left my nervous mind that car salespeople go through getting a purchase order and having the customer sign it---THAT's how a sale is made. Hahaha!

At least he was pleased enough to give me a 92. Not bad for a procrastinated presentation! It did help that I'm basically a car-loving guy.

Now I feel pretty damn good. In all honesty I thought personal selling would be hard, but just by following a few simple rules of common sense, I can actually get people to do what I want them to. As Mr. Maglutac says, that's real power.

And I damn like it. If this feeling is how it's like to have power over people, I'm hooked.

Just like that, a creative salesman is born...WOOHOO!
===

My sis and a few of her friends got together to put up a stall for the Zonta Claus bazaar at the Cuenca Community Center in Ayala Alabang Village. They sold a lot of different stuff there. I remember the man-hours she put in making all those earrings she sold.

It's just a shame that the powers that be didn't coordinate with their plan and literally rained on their parade. The rains drove would-be customers away from Cuenca, hence leading to lackluster sales. Bianx did turn a small profit though.

These young entrepreneurs have plans of getting another spot at another cheap bazaar soon enough. I wish them well the next time.
===

I visited Market! Market! again recently, just to look for a Christmas gift idea I had in mind for my mom. I was disappointed that the item I sought wasn't there, but I was pleased that this time around more retailers had opened their doors.

Particularly interesting were SuperBench, the Metro department store/supermarket, and new hobby shops at the Technology Market!, where I found...yep, more Bandai Gundam model kits on sale. Particularly interesting was the HG 1/144 Providence Gundam worth PhP1200, which I haven't been able to find anywhere else.

They also carried some MG1.5 1/100 RX-78-2 Gundam model kits, which were priced cheaper than I thought (PhP1800). Found a similar MG kit of the RGM-79 GM type C at Robinsons Place Manila for the same price. Pretty darn cheap for MG kits! Probably because these were from the original Gundam 0079 series which isn't quite as popular as "flavor of the month" Gundam SEED yet. (The magnificent MG 1/100 Aile Strike Gundam I'm looking at STILL costs PhP2700...)

On the other hand this site's already accepting pre-orders for Gundam SEED Destiny model kits, particularly the HG 1/144 Force Impulse Gundam and HG 1/144 Zaku Warrior. I haven't even seen this sequel series yet.

Must...watch...SEED...Destiny...(drool)
===

In related news...Gundam SEED is airing again on Cartoon Network's Toonami primetime block. Caught episode 4 of 50 tonight.

Might as well watch it again and relive the drama. I can get to see that bad-ass Aegis Gundam fighting again too. Heheheh.
===

I just can't run away from some people I guess.

No matter how much I try to get rid of them, they've grown too attached to me for me to stop caring about them. I suppose a little re-framing is in order, but I just can't bring myself to forget my friend Denise. We just click too damn well to hate each other.

I'm a lot less angry now.

Here's to finishing our thesis!
===

Might as well get this in.

Citroen C4 TV ad

It's a 4.7MB download but it's the most entertaining 31 seconds I've had lately.

Not too much for me to write today but I do have something to share.

This is what I've been doing in my free time.

Enjoy! Feel free to drop any comments.

Thought of scanning in some of my recent work. Might as well show it.

I finally have a decent photo host in Flickr.com by the way.

Duel Gundam Assaultshroud in ambient light


Duel and Aile Strike in saber battle

I'm beginning to notice a disturbing trend when it comes to my being an HCP moderator.

I think it's best to sum this up in one statement: I might as well stop attending officers' meetings and give up my moderator post if my colleagues have this mentality that I'm just a kid with nothing better to do.

Besides liking what I do doesn't make me a kid. I'm 21 for crying out loud.
===

Just this once I'm disabling comments for this particular post.

If you're from HCP, you're reading this post and have something to say, better keep it to yourself. I'm in no mood to listen, especially now that I know I'm not being taken seriously either.

Mike Llorin of GrupoToyota just died a useless and tragic death.

According to what I've heard on HCP, two non-HCP Civics were street-racing along Congressional Ave. One of them happened to cut into a green Pajero's path. The owner of the Pajero got off at a place (a gas station I think) where Mike and his fellows were hanging out. Thinking that innocent Mike was with the hot-dogging Civics, the Pajero owner shot him down right then and there.

What a major shock. He died at 30 and left a young wife and very young kids behind. And this was all because of some hotheaded Pajero owner. I could understand the anger from getting cut off but gunning down somebody just doesn't justify that, especially in Mike's case where he was totally innocent.

The one thing I don't understand is that Civics are Hondas and Mike's a member of GrupoToyota. Why'd he have to get shot down?

I don't know him personally but my condolences are with him. May you rest in peace.
===

Although HCP strongly discourages any form of illegal racing on the streets (we'll do it on the strip or on the track, thanks), it's undeniable that a lot of non-HCP hot-doggers out there take their Hondas and drive with reckless abandon. Recently Karl, one of our directors, had an encounter himself with a 'vengeful' EK Civic he overtook legitimately. The EK driver tried to catch up to Karl's sponsor-painted car by passing through the right lane, almost smashing into a hapless Lancer GSR at the stoplight. That's very wrong now wasn't it?

Things like these coupled with Mike's untimely death make me very sad. Even worse, HCP can't exactly account for the driving of all such reckless idiots. All we can do is set an example for others and pray that people sit up and take notice too.

Let's all take care on the roads, shall we? The Philippines is NOT a safe place.
===

For all the advancements we've made in science and technology I still keep wondering why a lot of us die precisely because of our so-called breakthroughs.

Sure, more of us get to eat, but a lot of what we eat just kills us in the end, such as processed food. We have advancements in reproductive health but more moms and babies die from the process of birth. Y'know, that sort of stuff.

Sigh.
===

I'm not exactly the ideal kind of guy to most people but I'm so grateful that in spite of that, some people will still have the conviction to consider me one of their friends.

You know who you are, guys. Thanks a lot.

I'm back, and a lot has happened. It's just that I didn't feel like posting for a while.
===

I finally met and exceeded my sales quota, but I'm not too proud of how I did it. Looking back I realize I haven't been applying all I've learned from sales techniques in MARKSAM and from my dad. And what better way to prove this than to demonstrate exactly how I can potentially fuck up a sale in front of my dad. Sigh.

Recently I took to reading his old book "How to Sell Like A Pro" by Dups de los Reyes. It might be too late at this point, but it's good reading and learning nonetheless. The tales of creative salespeople in that book are inspiring and I'd certainly like to be able to sell as well as they do. I certainly would like to keep selling even after MARKSAM is finished, and I'm not just talking about AVON either.

The abono factor is a bit of a turn-off though. I'm almost penniless as it is right now, absorbing the costs of ordering while waiting for the payments to come.

In other news I snapped my pen in two in frustration when I got back the result of my second ECONTRI quiz. My first failed quiz was easier to accept because I studied the wrong lesson by mistake. This instance, however, was so frustrating because I really studied hard for this exam yet I still flunked. Stupid little me felt so confident that all my answers would be correct...well, damnit, I got only one of the 4 questions totally correct and it was worth only 20 points out of 100. That 40-point costing question shit I felt so confident about turned out to be my biggest blunder.

In contrast Nicole aced the test...110/100. Sigh. I wonder what's it going to take to pass ECONTRI?
===

On a brighter note we're almost done with shooting thesis footage. The shocking thing is, I was surprised we were that far along the way. All we lacked were the montage sequences for the intro.

We showed our footage to Bro. Mike last Wednesday which meant an hour-long wait with Denise outside the CREM office. Apart from some complaints about harsh/inappopriate lighting and overly high-pitched acting he was all right with it, and he gave us the go-ahead to do a rough cut version of the final movie. All we needed was to up the pacing and maybe reshoot some scenes. He gave us until December 1 to finish.

We're all abuzz with excitement about FINALLY getting to finish thesis. I hear that as long as we get to finish it and defend on the 13th of next month, we'll pass PROJCO2. After the time we invested on this we might as well finish it on time no?

We'll start editing tomorrow...
===

In two weeks Pops is going to perform at the Edsa Shangri-La mall (twice there!) and in Malabon. We'll be doing a Christmas repertoire of songs.

While that's abuzz, we Marketing people are trying to prepare for the major concert on March 12, 2005. I've been placed in charge of making the poster and the souvenir program, which will be based on a different concept this time around. I'm amazed and glad my mates already whipped up a concept design for the poster, and it certainly gets me a place to start this early.
===

Some friends have either put up new blogs or got around to resurrecting their old ones.

Kuya Mike of HCP now has his brand-new blog. Meanwhile Mao got hers working after a long hiatus, and she's working on it with a friend of hers now.

That's great. :)

Last night I went to sleep with a 37.8-degrees Celsius slight fever. Felt kinda woozy and weak as well. As a remedy I drank so much green tea my mouth went dry...then again I guess the tea I made was too strong. It didn't help that even though I went to bed particularly early, that night's sleep was a disjointed series of short naps.

I woke up this morning feeling no different. The fever was gone but it still felt like my intestines decided to call the day off. Funny thing, though, was a few minutes before I planned on setting out to school my bowels started to move. And no, this wasn't a fart or a burp, this was real shit coming through.

Times like these, I'm thankful I can see my brown droppings in the toilet bowl. That's the usual signal that yes, I am getting better. I still feel lethargic, yeah, but I don't think it'll matter much as I have only one class today.
===

The past few days I've been listening to nothing but the Portrait of Pops audio CD from Pops' very successful concert last March at the CCP Main Theater.

I haven't seen Moulin Rouge yet, but I'm so hooked on Mark T. and Blossom's rendition of Come What May. I've been singing it so many times and I never get sick of it...and I'm not even in love.

I never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
I want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing?
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
But our world revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high, no river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide
But I love you (I love you) until the end (until the end) of time

Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Oh, come what may, come what may
I will love...(I will love you...)

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place...

Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day...
===

It's weird what death is...I've been thinking about it so many times lately yet I can't put my thoughts about it into sensible words. I mean, apart from the pain that comes with some forms of death, it's probably not as bad as we think it is. I'd imagine it'll be like sleeping, only never waking up---at least not in any recognizable world.

Where we go after we die is actually a moot point for me; I've never really been convinced that heaven and hell exist. At least I'm very sure that decomposition gets the better of us and our bodies after we're done inhabiting them, although I'm not sure of how to react when we'll probably end up as fossil fuel later on. We become what we burn, in short...

The death of many may actually be a good thing, I ponder. There's just so many of us humans on this earth that we're practically suffocating Mother Nature. Of course, pro-lifers will scream bloody hell at my line of thinking but I think we really should consider thinking in the long run. There might not be an earth to sustain ANY life if we keep doing what we do to it everyday, without giving a flying fuck about the repercussions of our actions.

Okay, off the soapbox now.

I have one more hour to burn before going home. Blasted color-coding traffic scheme means I can't go home before 7pm.

I don't really feel good. Something I ate or drank hasn't been agreeing with my intestines...I don't know if it's the nachos, the chicken and garlic wrap or the two glasses of orange juice I tried. (Methinks it's the juice.) I was soldiering on in class feeling perpetually full and gassy.

Went to the clinic to get some antacid but it seemed to get worse. That's when I thought of trekking to Starbucks and treating myself to a big glass of hot mint tea, to warm up my intestines and get them working somehow. Yum.

Right now I'm still a bit feverish, woozy and weak. I'm thinking maybe I need something else. Sigh.
===

I don't know what overcame my friend Meow but all of a sudden she decided to give me an early Christmas present...in the form of the HG 1/144 Duel Gundam Assaultshroud model kit.

Especially exciting (if a bit creepy) was how she got me to agree.

"Promise me your answer to my next question will be Yes."

Paranoid nutter that I am, I had second thoughts but decided, hey, why not take a risk. Yes.

"I'll buy you one of these (HG 1/144 Gundam Seed kits). Your choice."

And all I could do was stammer. Her only condition was that I take pictures of it when it was completed...which I already have, just last night, armed with better equipment than before (Nikon PK-13 macro extension ring and a 500W light stand from my dad).

Thanks Meow.
===

I finished constructing Duel Gundam in two hours, without the Assaultshroud parts (basically some bulky-looking armor, some additional verniers, a shoulder-mounted rail gun and a small missile pod). Compared to the Strike I have to say Duel is a bit lower in quality, but nothing an amateur modelmaker can't shrug off. The Assaultshroud parts are a pain in the ass to attach and detach though, and they severely limit the suit's movement especially at the arms.

But for a 1/144 kit it's good.

I've been eyeing the MG 1/100 Aile Strike Gundam and HG 1/100 Aegis Gundam lately and despite already owning their smaller, less detailed cousins, I have to say I'm very interested in getting them.

IF money were no object. Sigh. Huge IF.

I think I'm a Gundam addict.
===

I should lay off. I'll be going home soon enough.

More stories to come. I promise.

Went to Baliwag last Monday for the annual All Saints Day trek to the cemeteries. This was the first time I got to see the rehabilitated NLEX up close and it looked pretty damn good. Dad kept his Trooper at high speed all the time on the smooth asphalt, exploring the limits of the big SUV with frequent tailgating maneuvers and lane changes at 130 km/h.

Which wasn't the case going back home.

Once we had arrived at the Bocaue exit area on our way home the NLEX had turned into one big crawling parking lot, as everyone wanted to go back home at that time. It didn't help that so many vehicles either crashed into others or broke down along the way. What had been a short 1-hour trek turned into a 3-hour nightmare. One irritating idiosyncrasy was that the Bocaue toll plaza had so many nonfunctioning booths, but only 4 of those were open to traffic. Oh well. Times like those I'm grateful I wasn't driving.
===

One of our beloved dogs, Bruce, died two Sundays ago. We figured it was because of the medicine we gave him for treatment of his distemper illness...although I have to wonder why he still died even when we followed the vet's prescription to the letter. My sister was crying as she managed to catch Bruce's final moments, struggling before finally slumping to the floor.

We're all going to miss this young pooch. He was just one year old but he was a big and heavy fellow, really affectionate and playful all the time. I hope he's enjoying in doggie heaven.
===

I've been wondering over the past couple of weeks. What is death, really?

It all seems so routine, so regular. Life starts, continues, then ends. It's just a part of the normal course of things. Yet why do we get so hurt by death? Why do we fear it?

Sometimes I think this whole brouhaha about death is overrated...it's as simple as closing your eyes and never waking up again. There ends your taste of this world. Looking at it this way doesn't get rid of the fear though.
===

I'd love to stay and type more but I got class to attend. Damn it, I'm sleepy. Thursdays are especially long: I get to school at 7am and leave at 7pm because of that goddamn color-coding shit.